What possesses a parent to give up their child?

Question

My husband's son is out of control, burning things, staged a break in and ransack of our house because he forgot his house key, lying, stealing, and overall selfish and disrespectful. I know this could've been prevented had my husband been consistent in discipline. Instead of trying to help solve his son's problems, he finally decided to send him to live with his older daughter who lives an hour away. There was no discussion with me on the subject and I didn't even know what was going on until my stepson came in to pack up his stuff. I understand my husband was trying to ease the tension between us and our sons by sending him away. But as a parent, I would be more inclined to solving the problem myself instead of giving up my child.

I'm struggling to understand this. I've tried talking to him about it but, like normal, he closes up on me. I was given up twice as a child and couldn't do that to mine. Why would a parent do this? What can I do now?

Answer 1

I don't know, I think he would want to do everything in his power to handel the situation before going to this extreme. I guess he has his reasons in his mind. I think it would be a whole lot better to try and work out the problem

Answer 2

U should send him away for a while and i dont mean sending him to his older sister house....because this could possibly make it worst. The best thing to do would be to send him to a jail, a juvenile detention center, or somewhere to help with his bad behavior. I know how hard it may get sometimes but a parent like you must be holding on to this child for dear life because if it was me he would be gone, no child or mine or anyone else is gonna tear my house down because they dont have a key. And i definitely wouldn't let him slide by with stealing my things, ransacking my house and disrespecting me. If i was you i would just let your husband know the deal, the boy's gotta go. I hope this helped you a little in the decision you choose to solve this problem.

Answer 3

by sending the child away he was shifting blame..  he does not want to be responsible...  unfortunately you did what you could and can not make him change..

Answer 4

Sometimes a parent has to admit they can't do it anymore and they need to try something new.  If nothing else has worked maybe he thinks that having his son be away from home will be something different to try.  You can't do anything because you are stepmom not the mom.  I know my stepbrother was horrible too and my mom would try to help and his dad would try to help but he is who he is.  He was living with my mom and stepdad then when he was 16 my stepdad just had to decide and ended up letting my stepbrother go back to live with his mom because my stepdad was hitting a depression wall from all my stepbrothers c**p.  Sometimes tough love is the way people have to go.  Really you may never understand why your husband is handling it the way he is.