What questions will I be asked if I am a reference for my sister who is trying to adopt a child...?

Question

My twin sister and her husband are hoping to adopt a child. Its a long process. I'm sure you know, with lots of questions and classes and stuff.

I am flying over from the States to visit her and have offered to meet with her social worker as a reference - she says it would be good as background info etc.

What kind of questions should I expect? I don't want to cheat or anything, I just don't want to let her down by being nervous on the day, and blabbering like an idiot.

She's a wonderful person and would be a great parent - as would her husband.

Has anyone got any experience of this? Any help would be much appreciated, thanks.

Answer 1

When I adopted all my references did was write a statement.  Nobody called them.  Just speak from your heart.  So what if you ramble.  If you really think they will be great parents it doesn't matter what you say as long as it is all postive.

Answer 2

When a social worker writes a home study, it's really a research paper about the family.  Part of a good study is using a variety of sources, which is where the references come in.  Methods vary, some agencies want interviews, others send you a survey, others want you to write a letter.  They may ask about your sister's experience with children, her personality, alcohol or drug use, relationship with her husband, family, and extended family, and whether she has the support system needed to handle the adoption process and parenting.  I think you can help her by being open and honest, there are no wrong answers.  Go ahead and blabber about what great parents she and her husband will be, sometimes social workers quote references in the study!  Good luck and congrats to your sister!

Answer 3

When we went through the adoption process the kind of questions they asked our family and friends were things like

Whether or not we had a good suport system

If they thought we would make good parents

Were they comfortable leaving their kids with us

Did they feel we were financially stable, mentally stable, etc.

One question they asked my parents specifically were

Would they accept a non bio child into their family and treat the child the same as their bio grandkids

They might ask about you and your sisters upbringing (we had to fill out a ton of paperwork ourselves with questions like How did your parents discipline, etc.)

Answer 4

Yes, Me and my husband are going through this process to foster our nephew and the home visits etc are exactly the same as adoption. We asked family members also to be a reference for us. They dont ask you questions as such. They will ask certain thinkgs but its not like one after the other so dont be nervous. They will ask things like do you think they could manage etc ... but generally they just talk to you to see what your opinion/ relationship is with them.

The best thing to do is be completely honest!  There are no wrong and right answers, its not a test. They just need to ask other peoples views on the couple.

My family said things like we have always minded their children over night  and the kids love us etc ...  They said how long we have been together and how happy we are and strong and that we dont bottle things up and that we always talk and dont fall out.

Good Luck, dont be nervous. You will be absolutely fine. Your sister obviously has faith in you so have some in yourself.

Answer 5

Our homestudy agency didn't do personal interviews, they asked that some questions be answered in a letter though. They mostly wanted to know what they thought of our abilities to parent, what interactions they had seen us have with children, and how they thought we handled responsibility and finances.

Speak from your heart, if you truly think they will be wonderful parents tell the SW so and explain why.