What reaction should i take in this matter ,is my daughter going to just kill herself?

Question

as a mother what a motive should i take if i find a letter in my daughter’s room though I wasent spying or something I always trust my daughter ,,saying how much she loves us but she cant deal with everything anymore and everything is seeming to be so bad and fast ,she just want a spot to know herself better maybe even if it was death ,she doesn’t to be angry or upset ,she reads a lot .she is active although recently she started to take days off from work saying she doesn’t want to get out of bed,

she lost her lover and although she is engaged now she doesn’t seem to love him she says this marriage she Is using her sense not her heart and she is ok with this. , ,should i just confront her or make it easier then this and tell our GP

Answer 1

V_v

Answer 2

well your daughter seems to be in a very big state of depression, and maybe you should try suggesting to her that she sees the doctor.  how long have these feelings been going on for? not meaning to sound cruel, but is she attention seeking? or has this naturally progressed and you do not know why? also, in what way did she lose her lover? was it a death or a break up?

depending on how long this has been going on for, leaving the matter alone is obviously not helping things, and your daughter may be crying out for her mum to do something to help her. if it has been going on for a short amount of time then i suggest seeing if it fades, she may literally just be feeling a little down.

if it is her job, then suggest she try and get a new job and tht you will support her whilst she is looking.  if she is not happy with her current partner, then perhaps a break or a short time away from him will do her the world of good if she is able to have time to think about what she really wants from life.

above all else though, trust your instincts. if you feel that something is wrong, get her some help. believe me she will thank you for it when she is out of this depressive state.

i hope for your sake tht the situation improves and that you will be able to help your daughter through this.

x

Answer 3

Sounds like your daughter never had a chance to grief her lost love and to cope with her own feelings. She is sad and she needs your help. This is one of the cases when just moving on too fast is bad for that person. Maybe she wasn't trying to kill herself, maybe she was just venting. People are so quick in putting a depression diagnosis on others and rushing them to medication. Sometimes we just need time to heal. It has been clinically demonstrated that the feeling of love gives the brain a high, just like a cocaine high. My belief is that we actually do not love a person, we just love the way that person makes us feel. I know it might see a bit cold minded, but, sometimes one has to go to extremes to find an explanation for the sufferance. So, your daughter might be in what might call "withdrawal" and she is missing the one factor that gave her brain a high, aka happiness. So, my suggestion is to be there for her. Work with her. Bake her favorite cookies. Sing her favorite lullaby. Be a mother to her and try by all means to bring back happy memories. Cry with her, listen to her, take her for walks and look through family albums. But don't let her know that you read her letter. She will feel betrayed and she won't trust you so much (if ever again).  And remember, the best thing you can do for a sad person is to get that person moving. exercise releases serotonine, aka the hormone of happiness. My best wishes to you!

(I wish my mom was near by so she could alleviate my broken heart when it happened to me.)

Answer 4

make her go to a therapist, and explain that you found the letter, my parents did and I am better because of it. The part when you tell her will be the worst but then it will be better  

Answer 5

writing things like this are often a cry for help, i know when i was really low down i wished people would talk to me...the worst part was if anybody asked me how i was or knew i was having problems and asked, i could never bring myself to say what i wanted to.

There is something in her life that she is not happy with and as a person who has come through this i can only say one thing....do watever it takes to be happy...

I was with an abusive guy who cheated on me and i'm so glad he did because since then i sunk deeper because i had no friends (he was controlling so i had lost all my old ones and not made new ones) and needed a social life...i got in touch with old friends and i can say i am 100% happy now, not a suicidal thought in my head!

There is something causing this, mu opinion is she needs to counter-act it (i wanted social activities so i made friends) or cut it out (the loss of the abusive boyfriend)

I thought if i carried on things would get better but no, from personal experience only change will cause a change in her attitude.

I hope for the best. She is your daughter and obviously needs some help...try to get her to open up! i didn't tell my grandmother i had been so close to ending it until after i was better, my mother does not know at all as when i burst out once she ignored what i said...i couldn't talk to her after that.

Hope this helps! Good luck and i hope your daughter is in better spirits soon!!

Answer 6

She sounds depressed as if she is on "survival mode." You can try talking to her, but being her mom she may resist. Maybe a close friend can step in.  

Answer 7

first off im sorry to hear that but seriously i would try taking her to somewhere that she is happiest wheather that is the movies, beach, mountains or something like that because as i found out from personal experience that sometimes a counselor or doctor just makes the situation worse, so just try to talk to her about it and try to "lift some weight" off of her shoulders!

hope it helps!

Answer 8

Get yourself an emergency appt with a therapist and come out with a plan on how to approach your daughter safely. She is on dangerous ground.

Rather than walking on egg shells and hoping for the best you need to take action on her behalf before she makes irrevocable mistakes. She is not making clear decisions for herself.

It's not advisable to go in there gung ho like a bull in a china closet - not saying you would intend it that way, but it might turn out to be without a plan.

Be prepared to make some hard decisions - tough love.

Answer 9

In all seriousness - you need to get her sectioned, for her own good. She needs help with her issues. Like ASAP or you could loose her.

Answer 10

Firstly, i'm touched by your story, and hope you can help your daughter through this bad time.

I would say definitely do not tell her that you found the letter, but rather than doing so, be around a lot more for her - suggest outings to places you know she enjoys. Suggest holidays, things she may enjoy that you can arrange to happen in the FUTURE, to challenge the feeling she has now that life is miserable.

She does sound clinically depressed to me, and seems to need to see her GP about it. I would suggest you ask her if there is anything wrong that she needs to talk to you about, as you've noticed she has not quite been herself recently - but still steer clear of the fact you found that letter, as confronting her about it may make her feel as if she's being spied on, and you don't want to push her further away when she is already having problems coping with life.

If you can get her to talk, then advise her to see a doctor, tell her you'll be there for her all the time, whatever she does - and that things will get better.

I hope this helps, good luck. My heart goes out to you both

Answer 11

Tough love. Honey, she needs it.

She needs to stop moping and start living. Her sinking further into depression won't help anyone,least of all her.

Get her to have breakfast with you, a hobby, anything that gets her out of the house and her mind off the bad until her mind can cope.