What recourse is there if you believe the custodial parent is not properly educating a home schooled child?

Question

Parents divorced - numerous family dynamics - looking for fathers rights in Illinois to question education of minor - merely concerned for the child's overall well being.

Answer 1

1) Check into the laws where you live and find out what the requirements are.

2) Take what you know (not what you believe, but that you have some reasonable proof of) and compare it to the laws: does the mother seem to be meeting the legal requirements (even if the legal requirements don't meet your standards of "proper" education)? If so, there's nothing to do. If she isn't meeting legal requirements, then contact the dept. of education for your state to inform them.

Most places have very loose education laws, don't require kids to be at the same level as public school kids... If there are other issues involved (things that could warrant getting Child Protective Services involved--but don't go that route unless you want your kids to possibly end up somewhere other than with you), it might be worth talking to a lawyer.

ADDED: If you both have custody, he shouldn't be with his mom full-time. Talk to your lawyer. When custody is being held up properly, you can talk to your son about his future and what would be needed and get him involved in studying other things.

Answer 2

Well, first, understand that homeschooling looks absolutely nothing like public or private schooling, most of the time.  They are two completely different dynamics.  Homeschooling often takes much less time, especially in elementary school.

Second, you need to realize that the scope and sequence (the order that things are learned in) are often very different as well, and that's ok.  The school system's job is to impart a body of information to a huge number of kids in the most efficient way possible...this means that instead of tailoring the curriculum to the children, they need to attempt to tailor the children to the curriculum.  Obviously, this isn't the best thing for children that fall outside of that curriculum's demographic.

For example, my highly gifted but dyslexic son was doing algebraic functions (instinctively) in his head at age 6, but didn't read fluently until he was almost 10.  However, when he did start reading, he picked up a copy of The Hobbit and tore through it.  He didn't start writing fluently until about the same time, but when he did, he wrote a page at a time - and far above grade level.  He didn't learn the states and capitals in 4th grade - we were on the middle ages - but now, in 6th, he can tell you the Presidents in order, their parties, the main events of their terms, what states came in during their terms, and any wars or foreign relations that took place.  However, there were many in my family that questioned my ability to homeschool him and his education.  Now, my family full of public educators readily supports us because they see the progress that he's making.

I really suggest you speak with your ex about what she is doing and how she is homeschooling the kids.  Not having custody, there really isn't much you can do unless you can prove serious parental negligence (like smoking a bong with the kids at lunch), but you can get more involved.  Find out if there's anything you can do to help while they're with you and what goals she has for them for the semester or year.  Don't go into it to find something wrong with what she's doing, but to honestly find out about it.  Homeschooling, while it is very different from the paradigm of education that many of us have, can be extremely beneficial for the kids; if you are involved and supportive, it will be that much more beneficial.

Edit - if you both have custody, then you may very well have legal right to help decide his education.  I would speak to your attorney about it, not to make a fuss, but to see what your rights are.  I can tell you the basics of homeschooling law there, but not about custody law, so I don't want to steer you wrong.

Have things been amicable between the two of you in the past, or have things been rocky?  If they've been rocky, it's probable that she's scared that you'll try legal action against her to challenge custody or something like that.  (I remember when I started homeschooling, I waited a year and a half to even tell my family, out of fear that a social worker would end up on my doorstep.)

You may have to make it clear - like signed, legal papers clear - that you're not looking to make things difficult for her, but rather that you honestly want to be an involved parent.  You want to support your son's education but can't do that if she's going to withhold all information from you.  It may take a bit of time, but hopefully she'll open up and allow you to help.  :)

Answer 3

Every state I know of that allows home schooling also requires that the schooling meet certain requirements. Among those requirements is that the student be able to take and pass tests administered by the local school system. If the student cannot meet minimum requirements then the custodial parent is (in most cases) no longer allowed to home school and the student must reenter the school system. A good lawyer could certainly convince the powers that be to check on the students progress.

Good luck with your effort to un-stick the red tape barricade.

Answer 4

What does he do at the barn? This is summer right now...is he locked in a barn alone all during the school year? Is he learning tractor repair there? Veterinary science? He won't tell you? I would think at the very least you'd be able to have him tested and look at the scores. Google "standardized testing" in your area. Your ex-wife is likely as concerned about your son as you are. Most parents are doing everything they can to prepare their kids for life--be sure to give her the benefit of the doubt.