What religion should my child have?

Question

My daughter's mom is jehovah's witnesses and I'm Catholic. The mom has full custody and I have our daughter every weekends. I wanted our daughter to be baptised in Catholic church but her mom refused. I don't have a problem with this, the only thing that ticks me off is that she won't let me have her on her birthdays and Xmas co'z she don't want us to celebrate those special days.

Answer 1

John you won't like hearing what I have to say.  I'm Jehovah's Witness.  I think your child will be happier as a Witness than as a Catholic.

It will be her choice when she reaches her teens or 20s.  That is one thing we Witnesses don't do, make the decision FOR someone else.  This is the reason we don't baptize infants.  We feel that each person must decide to dedicate their own lives to God when they are old enough to make that decision.  No one can do it for them.

With my own children?  My husband is not a Witness.  He never really had a religion of his own that he believed in either way, but birthdays and holidays were important to him.  So my kids when they were small went with him.  As time went on and as I taught them the Bible they each chose on their own to STOP being a part of those celebrations.

My son was telling me the other day that it wasn't a big deal to him to give that up, he didn't feel like he lost anything.

Both of my children seem to love the congregation, the fun that we have together as a family and within the larger family that the congregation makes for us.  They both love Jehovah, are decent loving and well behaved young people.  They aren't "forced" to do anything, but they know right from wrong and they are happy.

There are way worse things than knowing the Bible you know.  Way worse things than choosing to obey God.  Our children have a wonderful peer support network that urges them and encourages them to do RIGHT rather than wrong.  I as a parent really really VALUE that.

I think my husband does too.  I think he must see the contrast between the way his kids behave because of their training and the way some kids behave.  He has "learned" things about the Bible from his kids. (He admits this).

Answer 2

Well, i say, when she's old enough let her decide what path she wants to follow.

Answer 3

d**n thats messed up im catholic but my aunts a jehovas so i feel ya but if the mom has custody then jehovas

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear this,  I think it should be a shared decision, she should be allowed to attend both faiths and make her own mind up at 18.

Answer 5

Your daughter lives with the mother so most likely she will take on her religion because there mostly together and she mite even grow up to decide for herself. Hope I helped :D

Answer 6

I think that you two should come to the decision to let your daughter grow up and decide for herself its the easiest way to solve the decision and afterall its your daughters life she should make the choice b'coz she has to live with that decision as its her life!

Good luck though!

Answer 7

Both claim to be Christian so I would say you have an obligation to seek what Christian faith is more rooted in scripture.

Only then could the parents figure out what do with the child and as she grows she will decide for herself..

Answer 8

That's kinda an awkward situation. . .Ideally, your daughter should be able to decide for herself once she's old enough to make a serious decision.

Answer 9

Your daughter should be growing up with both religions and let her make her decision when she is older.

I am catholic and my partner is church of England and my girls learn both ways of the religions

Answer 10

Hmm, it sounds like her mother is a bit overbearing.  How old is your daughter?  I would say wait until she gets older, and let her choose herself.  Just try to make a compromise with mom and try to meet in the middle about stuff.  But if I'm correct, don't both Jehovah's Witnesses and Catholics believe in the same God?  And read the same Bible?  I may be wrong, I don't know anything about Jehovah's Witness...but don't put a lot of pressure on your daughter to believe one thing or the other, because that will just scare her away from both religions.  She'll be better off choosing one on her own time; these things can't be rushed.

Answer 11

Have you been to court to arrange custody and child support yet?  If not, go. Then insist upon having visitation during Xmas and her birthday while explaining to the judge exactly why.  There is no reason to deny a child these traditions because her mother practices a religion that denies these when the father  encompasses those practices.

Answer 12

Are the Beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses Harmful?—The Law Speaks

▪ “There is no basis on the evidence to conclude that the religious upbringing of the two children in the Jehovah’s Witnesses [faith] has proven to be detrimental to their health or emotional status.”—Koerner v. Koerner, No. 002793 (Conn. Superior Court, October 2, 1979).

▪ “I cannot find that they will suffer from being with their father on his field ministry. . . . I have not been able to find evidence in this case which convinces me that a Jehovah’s Witness, by the practice of his religion, tends to destroy our social order.”—Evers v. Evers, 19 F.L.R. 296 (Supreme Court of New South Wales, Australia, 1972).

▪ “To deprive Mrs. Ayers of custody . . . would be tantamount to finding that the life style espoused by non-Jehovah’s Witnesses is preferable to that of Jehovah’s Witnesses; that Jehovah’s Witnesses are not proper parents. Such a suggestion is patently preposterous and would be an intolerable restriction of religious freedom.”—Ayers v. Ayers, (Provincial Court of British Columbia, Canada, Family Division, April 8, 1986).

Are the Children Deprived?

  In Quebec, Canada, a father claimed that his children were deprived and emotionally abused by the beliefs of his ex-wife, who was a Witness. He asked the court to intervene. The children had to testify. Notice the answers of his 16-year-old daughter:

Q.: What kind of life do you have as a Witness?

A.: I consider that I lead the same life that all teenagers do. I am not deprived of anything. I don’t consider myself different from anybody else.

Q.: What do you get out of those meetings at the Kingdom Hall?

A.: First of all, it gives me a goal in life. I know what to base my future on according to my beliefs. Second, I have many friends there, with whom I can associate.

Q.: Do your meetings help you at school?

A.: Yes, because at our meetings we give five-minute talks in front of people. At school when we have oral presentations to give, many of the students are very nervous. But because I already give talks, I have a sort of apprenticeship.

  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœWhat is the impact of such a religious practice?” asked the judge in his decision. “The court found positive things rather than the evidence that [the father] wanted to present in his argumentations.” After ruling in favor of the Witness mother, the judge said privately to both lawyers, “I wish I had children like that!”

Answer 13

Jehovah's Witness.

.. ..

Answer 14

the best thing that either of you can do is to raise her to be knowledgeable and understanding of both religions. dont force anything b/c the mistake that a lot of ppl make is thinking that they or their children have to be what there parents are. one day she will make her own decision as to what to believe in. until then, just do your best to inform/raise her of your religion.