What resposibilities should a 21 year old daughter have at home when she is working 30 hours a week?

Question

We do not charge our daughter rent and I drive her wherever she needs to go including to and from work. She pays gas money and her portion of our cell phone bill. Her room which she shares with her 11 y/o sister is a disaster! All she does is go to work and church and "relax".

Answer 1

At 21, and working a 30hr week, your daughter sounds like she has it pretty easy!  At that age, she should be taking on a bigger role in the home.  At the very least, she should keep her room tidy as she's not paying any rent!  I don't think it would be too much to ask her to do a bit of cleaning or cooking. It would probably be good for her to take on some more responsibility for the  time she eventually leaves your home.  Otherwise, it'll be a massive shock to her when she's no longer under mum's roof and care!

Answer 2

Charge her rent.  I don't care if it's just $20.00 a  month.  She should prepare dinner at least 3X a week.  She needs to clean her room and vacuum the entire house.  She should clean bathrooms as well.  Does she do laundry?  You and she need to divvy up the chores.  Doing chores will help her relax and sleep better at night.

Answer 3

She should be helping with food shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. if she isn't paying rent.

Answer 4

If she is not going to school as well then she needs to be keeping up with cleaning, cooking, and even babysitting. Since you do not charge rent (and even if you did she is under your roof and should do all those things), she needs to be saving her money.

If she is going to school, then she should at least clean her room in addition to the other things she already does. While I was going to school at that age, I lived with my father and I cooked, cleaned, worked a part time job and took care of my kids with the help of my husband. She should be gracious to live there. It is your house, so make the rules and if she doesn't like it then she can leave.  

Answer 5

Oh my, she reminds me of my younger sister. First of all, I believe she should be driving her self places. If for some reason she cannot get a license due to medical or legal reasons, she should give you gas money. Also, I believe there is no reason why she cannot cook dinner for the family at least 2 nights a week. She should also help keep the house clean. Tell her to clean the bathrooms and run the vacuum once a week, in addition to keeping HER room clean. She should be a role model for your 11 year old daughter. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

she needs to pay rent and y are u driving her to and from work... she is also responsbile for cooking on her days off and that means planning the family meal... she needs some responsiblity instead of relaxing all the time... the messy room is both girls responsibility and they both need to clean it up... she needs to know what bills are if she doesnt when she does get on her own she will have no clue how to budget money... make her pay a 1/3 of electric, cable, phone, and rent and explain to her that u are teaching her to budget her money... she will get angry at first but it will go over ...

Answer 7

Charge her rent even if it is 40.00 a month or ask her to clean her room and do house work in return for free rent!! If she is 21 and works why does she not have a car?

Answer 8

All Dishes, or all laundry, but I think dishes would be easier on everyone... maybe dishes once a day when she gets home from work?

Answer 9

I'm am wondering why at 21 shes only working 30 hrs. If shes in school I can see. But she needs to be paying a lil rent or something on food.electric and stuff that way she will be ready for the real world. She will have a better idea on what its like to have her own place, I'm guessing one day she will have her own place?? I'm am 23 and moved out at 18 worked went to school, got married  had 2 kids bought 2 houses so far. Not saying she needs to do that but just needs to  know how much things really cost and how hard you have to work at getting it!

Answer 10

Not sure really.  I was 22 when I moved out.  Before then I was working full time, and just came home, ate dinner, went out with my boyfriend, that sort of thing.  I didn't really have responsibilities such as grocery shop and stuff.  I was required to tell my mom where I was going if I left the house and that's about it.  Boy, what a life I had.

Oops I should add that I did my own laundry, had my own car and paid for my own gas and repairs and car payment and all my credit card bills for clothes, etc.  I was not charged rent until my dad lost his job, and then I had to pay $200 a month, but that was only for a few months and then I moved out.  I had a full time job at the time when I was being charged rent.  Your daughter should get a full time job unless she's in college still.

Answer 11

Everything every other member of the house should. Everyone should help out with cleaning, laundry, picking up after themselves etc. Considering her age she should be doing ALL of her own laundry and helping out with everything else in my opinion.

Edit:  It doesn't matter if she is working 30 hours a week. When she lives on her own or with a partner she will have to do these things regardless of the hours worked. She needs to learn that responsibility is not based on your hours worked in or out of school.

Answer 12

Well first of all does she have a license? She should get one of those. Then she should save up some money to get a car and then she can drive her self around. Maybe start to make her pay for like 100 dollars or so of the groceries or something so she can atleast get the feel for how things will be when she moves out. It is your house and she is living there rent free which means she should be listening to your rules. If you think she should be cleaning or doing something while she is home then speak up and tell her how its going to be. If she wants to move out soon she is going to have to know how things are alittle bit before she rushes into it, or atleast it would be better that way. Good luck!

Answer 13

why isn't she paying rent?  she should be paying rent, 1/3 of the bills, groceries, etc.  she is 21 and still mooching off her parents????   you need to teach her VERY quickly about real life, or the consequences could be disasterous.  she needs to understand how the world/money works.

Answer 14

house chores, baby sitting, working a full time job,, get a car so she can drive herself, go to school  

Answer 15

She is not learning responsibility. She is relying on her parents for support. If you wish for her to "grow up" faster charge her rent and implement some rules for living such as: clean room, provide her own transportation and work a full 40-hour work week. Eventually (and hopefully sooner) she will understand that having her own home will be better than living at home with parents and siblings.  I'm sure she would prefer privacy when it comes to entertaining friends.  Best regards.

Answer 16

I would charge her rent- not a ridiculous amount but something that gets her motiviated to maybe work more hours or keep wanting to progress in the job she does have.  You could incorporate money for food and utilities in the rent to make it just one set amount, or you could have that vary so she can get a taste of the real life.  If she was going to school, it would be different.  I'd get it all laid out and written down so there are no misunderstandings.  And if you want her to move out at some point, give her a deadline for that too.  

Answer 17

For a big starters she needs to clean her room. Then she needs to do some chores (there is no free lunch)  a balance between the two kids.  Well maybe the 21 year old should have a few more.  She should was dishes and or load the dish washer. Do her own laundry for sure. I also think she should be made to contribute something to the home not rent like she is on her own but something like 100.00 a month and she needs to start saving for a house and or her own place.  This is a great opportunity for her to be financially  stable later in life.  

Answer 18

I am going to try and describe my situation, and hopfully you will realize she need some more responsibilities around the house.  I graduated from high school at 17.  I had a car, but it was from the '80s.  So I worked at an office for $10 and hour, 40 hours a week, and a restaurant 5 hours every weeknight and 8-12 hours on Saturday and Sunday from the time I was done HS until I started college in August.  I paid cash for a 3 year old convertible by the end of the summer.  Then, I drove my shiny car to state college every weekday, then to work.  I paid all of my own tuition, and waitressed about 40 hours a week.  I also took summer classes so that I could get a 4 year degree in 3 years.  On winter break before I graduated, I got married.  Then I interned, while working and going to school.  I am 22 now, am a CPA, have a 3,000 square foot house and a nice car, with no debt except a mortgage.  If you really need to ask if your daughter should be doing a little more at her age, then I really think you need some help.

Answer 19

she should cook /clean and what ever else you need her to do at home that room should not look like that if she only works p/t she has time  to clean that room the 11yr old to show her what it is to keep  a house clean don't let her be like her big sis teach her the right way

Answer 20

She's an adult, meaning she should be contributing the same way Mom and Dad do - paying a portion of the bills, helping out with groceries, doing chores around the house, etc.  Driving her around?  Paying only a PORTION of her cell phone bill?  You're setting your daughter up for disaster.  It's time for her to grow up.  If she's not in school, she should be working more than 30 hours per week.  Make her start acting more like an adult, or you're going to be "raising" a 40 - year - old woman soon.

Answer 21

when i was 18 (im 21 now with my own place) i lived at home and worked around 30 hours a week, i paid my mum £25 a week AND helped out around the house, i definatly had to do my own cleaning in my room and clear up anything i used etc around the house, i think your daughters got it way too easy! i also walked, or used public transport to get to work, your not a taxi! (so i was told by my parents) i make them sound bad but they were great just not pushovers!

make her more independant! good luck

Answer 22

She's an adult and should contribute to the house - she's living there for free! She should have to do dishes or unload the dishwasher, she should do her own laundry, keep the room tidy (she's setting a bad example for her sister), and vacuum and clean as necessary.  

Answer 23

At 21.  She is there at your sufferance.  Her responsibilities at home are whatever you deem them to be.  Her doing her own - or taking a turn at the family laundry is reasonable.  So is her keeping her own room clean. It wouldn't hurt her to have to prepare a few meals either.  

Answer 24

She does need to help out around the house.  It is your home, and you set the rules.   When she is out on her own, then she can make whatever messes she can.  Yes she is an adult, but it is your house.  She can help in cooking and cleaning, that is only fair since you are not charging rent.

Answer 25

kick her out of the house... she'll know what she should have done without you having to tell her what she should have done when she was staying at ur premises.

Answer 26

She has it pretty easy! No car payment, rent, or kids! I am 19 and i  pay for everything on my own. car, insurance, cell phone, misc. I do live with my parents because I still am in college(which i pay for as well)...She needs responsibilty to be able to be on her own, whch should be soon, 21 year olds need to drive!

Answer 27

She should pay rent for starters.

Answer 28

haha that sounds just like me.. exact same situation.. as long as im in school, my mom doesnt charge me rent or anything. but if i werent in school, my mom would probaby ask me to do all the chores,  in the house, like laundry, dishes, running errands, whatever. i dont think it would hurt to ask her to clean up after herself, and maybe help out a little around the house.