What shall I do about my marriage?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 4 yrs and his family have done nothing but cause problems (putting me down, causing conflict etc.). They try so hard to make me feel inadequate/jealous, although it never works, its the fact that they are trying to that makes it hurtful! What makes me mad is that my hubby never sticks up for me, and so the circle continues. His sister even made rumours in the family about how I was flirting with her cousins man, which is ridiculous, that was the last straw and since that I have limited my contact with dem all. She also tries to make me feel insecure about my marriage, she once told me how my hubby and another daughter in law's sister went out shopping, and forget to include my mother in law going too! I cant understand why she is trying so hard to make me feel inadequate and why my husband cant stick up for me. It makes me mad when I see them favouring the other daughter in law who is the same age as me and is a house wife. Maybe they dont like me studying, I have a degree? I dunno its just a hunch. Whenever me and my hubby have problems she deliberately calls me to boast about how the other daughter in law and her hubby went here and there and how they are etc., kinda like winding me up. Why???

Answer 1

Did you talk to your husband about how you feel? I know that if my fiance's family was treating me in such a matter I would talk to him about it.  Since it is his family it makes sense that he would know what to do best.  Just keep doing what you are doing in the mean time.  You shouldn't care so much about what they think or try and do.  I know it can hurt because they are family but be the bigger person and just ignore them.

Best of luck !

Answer 2

tell your husband how you feel and if he doesn't believe you then you tell him

"i cant be in a relationship with someone who cant stick up for their own wife because people who love each other don't do this, i love you and every thing but iv got to stop loving you because i know you don't care for me that much if you cant stick up for me and I'm sorry but I'm going to have to stay at (name friends) house tonight because this has been building up in me for a long time now and i cant deal with it any more. ill call you

Answer 3

The main question is..forget ur in laws..do u feel secure about ur marriage? u dont sound so

Answer 4

why should it even matter to you? you are your own self. why would you let them feel you down? dont ever let them affect you and more so your happiness. it seems that you are seeking acceptance and affection from them but i think you just cant please everybody. maybe maintaining some distance would be good. have a mind of your own and dont believe everything they say about you. you know yourself better than they do. i think your husband just doesnt want to start any trouble. it would be good if you can share to your hubby how you feel. however everybody is entitled to their own opinion. you can never really change how people would want to treat you because sometimes they already have an idea of who you are and sometimes its hard to change that. the important thing is to know who you are and accept yourself and not mind those people who just say negative things about you. surround yourself with people who appreciate you and love you and things will be better for you. sometimes you feel that way because you let them and you allow them to affect you.  

Answer 5

My MIL is the same way.... It does frustrate me. How funny cuz its four years for us too. Any way my DH's brother recently passed away and during the arrangements we bumped heads so bad that I refused to go to the funeral. He finally understood my frustration. It took him four years to finally say something but he did. I could't be prouder. So, all you can do is tell him your truly tired of it. Yes you married him and with him came his family, now he needs to man up and make his family understand that that he married you because you make him happy. If they can't understand that then maybe they need to think twice about whos hurting him... hypocrites.. good luck and I hope at least visits can become tolerable....