What shd be done...?

Question

a week back i found out that my husband had 3-4 girl frnds before marriage...not sure bout physical relation...i made a mess..coz iam like super possesive...he says he just spoke to them many times and never had a relation...sweared on me for being a virgin for marriage...he is a good husband and a nice dad till now..no problems and takes care of family very very well...he is showering more love on me know...but...the thought of my husband having same feelings for other women irritates me what shd i do?

i was soo reserved i had no boy friends in past and had wowen soo many hopes around my would be husband then in the past...so i feel deceived...help me friends please...please no rude answers....thanks

Answer 1

this is not 1908 ...be happy he is a great dad and count your blessings ..cause it could be worst...

Answer 2

What happened before you is really none of your business and you shouldn't use it against your husband.  That isn't fair.  He didn't even KNOW you when he had these other girlfriends.  He wasn't WITH you when he was with them, right?  So, why even let it bother you?

How do you know he felt the same way about his past girlfriends as he does about you?  Did he say that?  I guess I just don't understand why you said he is a good husband and nice dad until now.  What has changed?

Don't let your imagination run wild or you could ruin a wonderful marriage. Your husband isn't running around on you, doesn't sound like.  You need to be more confident about your relationship.  He chose to marry YOU, he has children with YOU, he loves YOU.  

Leave the past in the past...especially since nothing he did in his past was a crime against you.

Answer 3

You are lucky women,enjoy present and future why you try to destory your own good life.who live in past never happy.let it go move on with fact he marry you.he is your husband no one else.don't push him away,reason of your possesive nature.enjoy life.have faith in him.

Answer 4

Nothing can be done except living in present and planning for future.

Answer 5

  stop being silly and count your blessings .  

Answer 6

I am not sure I understand why you feel decieved.  Because your husband SPOKE with friends who were girls before he met you ?

Excuse me for saying so, but that makes no sense.

What should you do ?  love him for the great husband and father that he is and ask yourself why you are super possesive.

I suggest that if you continue with feelings like these to talk to a counselour so you dont ruin your marriage for no reason.

Good luck

Answer 7

You have to realize that your husband's past is just that...the past. You have no control over what he may or may not have done before he married you, and he has no way to change it. You married the man you love and he married you. Be happy of that fact and that he treats you with respect and God's honor and that he is a good Dad.

The Serenity Prayer comes to mind...

Best wishes to you and your family!!

Answer 8

Dont worry. Dont ruin ur life with these kind of thoughts. I am sure that 90% of today men and woman are having bf/gf before marriage and around 40 - 50% having relationships also. But I am not saying that ur hubby falls in this category.

If he is a loving and caring husband then that too is a lucky thing. Dont think abt b4 marriage activities........Think abt him after marriage, how loving he is..........u nvr had a b/f is ur thing and each person is diff:. so having b/f or G/f b4 marriage is not teh issue. Being loyal to wife/hus is the main thing.

Answer 9

Buff has given excellent answer.

Past is past. Think about the future.Why invite problems in a happy life.You are Lucky to have a nice man.He is happy because of YOU.

Dont get disturbed by unnecessary thoughts.

Answer 10

If he had the same feelings for these women that he has for you...he'd have married them.  The fact that he didn't is proof that those women have nothing compared to you.  Don't let the past predict your future.  Your marriage is what you make it and by not trusting him and being so insecure in  your relationship, you could push him away (which I assume is the opposite of what you want).  Enjoy your husband and charish his love for you and your family.  Let the past be the past, live your life for today!