What shoud i do if my family is fighting over who gets what after a death?...read on?

Question

We have a big family.My grandma just passed away on Sunday and the funneral was today.As soon as we ate lunch at the church we had three fights over who was getting my grandmas personal belongings.I don't want to fight with my family over this(aunts and cousins)I would like to keep them close to me instead of pushing them away over something as stupid as this(the cops were even called).I was around more than any of any other grandkids and great grandkids.Most of them only came around when they need money or need to borrow something.I loved my grandma VERY much and it was very hard on me.It just tore my heart up when they were crying over her even tho one of them had only seen her four times and she is 27.I'm not worried about money most of them don't even realize there is NO money I just would like to have a few things to remember her by.The things that i'm wanting one of the great grandkids told his grandma, who bought the house for my grandma that he would like to have it and i think she is going to give him tonight the things that mean the most to me.That is their grandkid and they give him whatever he asks for my mom wanted this plant that meant something to her and she gave it to him.What now i'm really mad and upset and i'm afraid if I bring it up she will make it seem like we are wrong for even bringing it up and not talk to us again and I don't want that.There was nothing in the will.She got real sick real fast.Sorry this was so long and think you for taking the time to read it.

Answer 1

Firstly I'm really sorry about your loss. I understand your situation, when my Dad died virtually the same thing happened. I think that you should calmly tell your relatives that you just want a few things to remember her by and that it is really impotant to you. Don't mention that you were around her more and that they don't deserve it or anything like that, because even though you may miss her more they may also resent you because they didn't get to spend as much time with her as you did. Try to be sensitive about the situation because they lost a loved one as well. If there is no way at all you can get what you really want ask to take pictures of the items in question, so you'll have the photos to remember.

I'm sorry for your loss.

God bless.

Answer 2

Did he drop any good loot?

Answer 3

I'm sorry about your grandma.

You will find this site helpful:

http://wills-probate.lawyers.com/What-Ha...

Since there was no will made the property will be spread evenly among the brothers and sisters or your uncles and aunts.Good Luck to you. I wasn't sure what you meant the last 4-5 sentences.

Answer 4

Going through a death in a family is one of the hardest things that can happen to the family. When you were real close to the one that was lost its even harder on you. What you should speak your mind say how the item in question is one of the things that you will remember her most by. And if that fails always remember you have one thing that no one can ever take away from you and that is the memory of all the good times you had with your grandmother.

Answer 5

I'd simply just stay out of the fights and cherish the loving memory of your grandmother.  Things are just things and as you see, you can't take them with you when you die.  Your grandmother, though, is sure to be watching all that's going on.  I'm sure you'll be able to sense her warmth and that's the most important thing ever.  If you are upset by all the fighting, she won't be able to reach you.  Be calm and strong. I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

The only way to do this is with a lawyer or a mediator.  You will all need to agree to hire one, and their fee will need to come from the estate.  

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear you have lost your grandmother.  I can understand how you must be feeling as after 6 years I still have not received any of my mothers belongings...she had no house, no money...I just wanted a few things just becuse they had been hers.  Unfortunately it doesn't sound like you will get anything of your grandmothers without a huge fight.  You can fight, even bring in a lawyer, but thta would just tear at your heart and make a mochary of everything.  All I can suggest is that you hold onto your memories and your love and let that carry you through.  The things are just that..things.  

Answer 8

So sorry about your grandmother.  But it is so weired how death can bring out the devils.  Ok, this is the line that should be followed. First, her children should choose, oldest first and down the line, 2nd If there are no children, then this is where it gets tricky, the grandchildren get what their parents would have gotten.  G-grand usually, don't receive anything unless the Children gives it to them.  I went through this and I was the only child with 5 grand children.  Fortunately, my mother had a Will made out. But a lot of confusion came into play with that.  If there is  no Will, then all of her stuff needs to go through probate.  Nothing is suppose to be removed from the house until the Will is read or the lawyer or the person that is over her estate comes in and takes inventory.  Then everything will be given out or sold. If there were things that you wanted, sorry to say you should have gotten it before she died.  You might be able to get your parents to get it for you. Hate to tell you, you will have to get a lawyer to get this settled.  Families can not and will not be fair.  Good Luck to you, because you will need it.

Answer 9

Oh my goodness!

I am so sorry for your loss.  This sounds just awful!

Maybe you could write to your aunt and explain why those possessions mean so much to you and perhaps it may make her think a little more.

I find things tend to break through a little more when they are in writing.

I imagine they would like to keep you close at this time as well so dont give up.

Keep smiling - its what your grandma would have wanted!

Answer 10

tell them there is no money, just personal belongings worth no money. tell them you want her things because you're sentimental. I bet they'll leave once they find out your telling them the truth.

Answer 11

i didnt read it, just call a lawyer