What should I do, can't stop thinking about ex years after break up?

Question

It’s been 4 years and 3 relationships and I still haven’t loved anyone since him. We were together for 4 years. He was heading away for law school, I was left behind and I couldn’t afford to go with him. The long distance worked for about a year, it was really tough on us both and we eventually broke up. I feel guilty because it was my fault that we broke up, I convinced myself that he needed someone who could be there physically, all the time, and not just 2-3 times a year. When we broke up, I fell apart, I even ended up dropping out of school for two years. I still think about him and wonder what might’ve been.

What brought this all up is when I ran into a good friend of mine from back in college at a wedding, she’s apparently still friends with him and they talk on occasion. She gave me his number and said I should try to call him up and try to get back in touch. The thing is, I don’t know what to say to him, I think after all this time I still have feelings for him. I’m nervous.

Any advice?

Answer 1

is time for you to talk back to him... both of you are mature and try it, just have faith, he might be ur true love :D

Answer 2

it might be easier to write him a letter l'm sure he'd Love to hear from you it's always good to hear from old friends, go for it and good luck.

Answer 3

it would be better if you could send him a short email asking him how he's doing...rather than a call. I think that a phonecall is more personal. But don't have high hopes, don't expect anything out of this...4 years is a long time and he might be committed to someone else now. but you've got nothing to lose, so give it a go ..best of luck !

Answer 4

Call him, what's the big deal.  Just tell him what you just wrote, that you ran in the college friend and she suggested you call.  And that you're thrilled to catch up with him.  CALL HIM,

Answer 5

move on and get real!  4 years is a big time change.  His wife would not be thrilled and she deserves respect.  There is stalking laws.

Answer 6

Speak to him like you would to anyone, and don't mention your feelings to him right away

Answer 7

I don't think your friend would have given you his number if she didn't think you should call. Call him! Just talk to him ask how's he doing,ask about school etc. Then if you feel comfortable enough let him know that you hate the way things ended and you made a mistake. Hope you and him get back together. Good luck  

Answer 8

If you think you still have feelings for him, than dont contact him..Not just yet anyway..Because you went 4 years like you said sence you too have been together, and thats 4 years of healing..If you contact him, and still have feelings for him..than the 4 years of healing would of been for nothing...Wait to contact him until you know for sure you have moved on and can honestly just be friends with him! Because who know's..Maybe when you contact him he could possibly be married,Have a girlfriend,Fiance,kids.ect..Who know's and if your not over him and contact him, and find something out like that, than its going to HURT badly!!

So wait until you can honestly say your over him..