What should I do, need advice??

Question

My husband and I are having problems, he cheated on me twice with two different women and since then my gut feeling has been telling me he is up to it again. We have two kids together and he tells me that I am the only one he has ever truly loved but if he did then why did he cheat?? I want to leave the marriage, but not sure how to do it. Would you just pack up and go or would you sit down and tell him that you want to leave the marriage?

Answer 1

Talk it out. He probably cheated because he needed the feeling of being wanted or desired. Ask him why he did it and maybe it can be resolved and save the marriage. Try to remember why you fell in love with him and go from there.

Answer 2

How did you find out that he cheated before? Have you ever told him if this ever happens again I'm leaving? As long as your husband doesn't have a bad temper, I would say sit down and tell him your leaving. As long as your positive that's what you want and he doesn't try to sweet talk you into staying. I'm sorry for you and hope all goes well.

Answer 3

honestly, through my own experience it is much harder to stay with someone who has cheated.  Your always going to wonder where they are, who they are with, is he telling you the truth....and so on.  You never fully gain that trust back.  once the trust is broke in that area, it is broke. I stayed, but it was so stressful, in my opinion, it would be much easier to leave........you would heal in time.  Once a cheater always a cheater.  he has done it twice....you think he is doing it now.  this guy is never going to change.  If he did truely love you like he so called claims, he would not put you through this and you and the kids would be his top priority. Not other women. Good luck to you.  I know its hard, there is never an easy answer to this. You dont want your children growing up knowing you were unhappy do you? Our children are a product of what we show and teach them. it may be hard on them if you leave, but in the long run it may be the better thing to do.  You need to be emotionally healthy, and right now your not.  As much as you try to put on the strong mom face, they can sense things. I feel for you, i know exactly what you are going through.  I hope you find the strength in you to do the right thing.  dont let him continue to hurt you like this. hang in there.

Answer 4

Hey There,

Tough situation. Actually, the only person that knows truley how you feel and what you should do, is you. You know, marraige is a very sacred and precious thing, the "only" way that Jesus said that you shoud leave a marraige is adultry. Now, just because the bible says that doesnt mean that you have to go running away. Obviously you love this guy or you would be gone by now. Here's what I suggest, take your children and leave for a couple of weeks, tell the kids that your going on vacation and he has to stay for work. Let him dwell in his guilts and work things out in his own mind, when you come back sit down with him, make a plan, and stick to it. You have to be strong. But I think that this should work for you. Good Luck!  Just remember, your priority now is your kids.

Answer 5

I would sit down with him...and would tell him ..that if he happens to do it again...that is it!!!!..it is over between us...and no going back!!!..and stick to that !!

Answer 6

What is your heart telling you to do?

I know what it feels like to have someone cheat on you. It was that bit easier as I didn't have children with him but it still kills you inside and you can't help that, you are only human!

If this man is willing to disrespect you TWICE with something so intimate as s*x, then he does not deserve any respect from you. You are the mother of his children, you gave the sacrifice of your life to be with him and have his children and if he cant keep it in his pants then he needs to realize that he has already lost you, in more ways that one.

Be smart and have some dignity.

Answer 7

i'm in the same situation u can do better all you have to do is think really really hard and see why he loves u and if u only got a few things then kick his *** to the curve. because he should be there only with u if a man loves u but men is going to be men but ur gut feeling is right just think on what ur gut is tell u to leave him or to stay.  THINK. or just sit his *** down and tell him all the things u dislike about him and all the things u like. maybe he will change tell him u want to go every certain day and cuddly to watch tv.