What should I do? Coworker dilemma.? Long?

Question

First of all, my coworker and I have our desks right next to eachother, and work very closely together for our jobs.

We are probably about the complete opposites in everything (she is very assertive, critical, nose-to-the-grindstone--and has worked there for the past 5 years). I tend to be more empathetic, flexible, try to always be courteous regardless of the situation, but also very hardworking--and I've been there for the past 6 months. I get along with her most of the time, but I keep our friendship at a distance.

She has certain things that "push her buttons" (like if things she wants from me are not done immediately--even if there are more acute situations going on that need my time now)--and unfortunately, I can't predict what they are ALL the time, though I'm learning. She didn't feel like I was telling her everything that was going on--so I made a point to gather what I've been working on and share it at the team-meeting, and that has helped some.

I just feel like she is nit-picking everything I do (she is not my boss, btw--and my actual boss is fine with my performance--as we have monthly reviews) and it puts me on edge because I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. She talks a lot about people behind their back. Probably me too. In a close working environment, in my opinion, that is very toxic.

I don't know what to do--I want to speak up, but she's been there longer, etc. I just hate walking into work and wondering what kind of mood she is going to be in (and what mood I'll be in when I leave, because I tend to pick up the mood around me).

Answer 1

do they allow head phones ? if so she will get the point quickly..I listen to christian tapes which give me a better perspective and cancels out allot of the bad karma Joyce Myer is refreshing but if they are not allowed put some earplugs(soft ones) in and say you have been having ear aches and these tend to help as far as her back trashing if you know about it so dose everyone else..so ..she probably has allready made her bed in that department.that is probably why you got stuck next to her you know low man on the totum pole think of her as a chalange rather than a liability it might put a notch on your (works well with others part of review) I usually listen intently then do what I want

Answer 2

Ignore the *****, and get back to work!

Answer 3

Maybe you could consider inviting her for an after work drink - and when you both are relaxed, talk to her, and ask her if she has any pointers for you how you can do your work better.

This will (usually) indicate to that person that you are serious, and also take her seniority serious enough to ask advice.

You could end up with having a long talk, and then gently guide the discussion to her, and ask her if she is happy with your work, and that sometimes you get the impression that she isn`t (when she says yes).

If she says no - ask her to explain why she thinks so.

The gossip is difficult though - and in my experience harder to deal with.

If this continues, it will poison the work atmosphere.

Now, the bad part is, that she has been there longer - and you still will be seen as the newbie.

Try and ignore that part, don`t participate (hey, you`re a newbie, you don`t know everyone that well :) ) and try and let it slide.

It will not be easy - but worth it if you like the job.