This evening, my sister came to me and asked if i found a part time job and I said maybe im gonna babysit in a mean time. And she just screamed at me and asked why i should babysit instead of looking for a perfect job like working in nursing home. I told her before that I can't work as a nursing aid/caregiver because i have an injury in my right arm. And then she said that my gets mad at me cause i have nothing to do at home. But i am really searching a job - any job! What i didn't like was she kept on repeating that mom gets easily mad at me coz i dont work and i just stay at home. I try my best to find a job. I was out of control, i threw the computer mouse and i shouted at tried to stop her from insulting me and hurting me coz it hurts my feelings and i easily cry!! My family knows that i have mild depression and i am soo sensitive and emotional which i DONT like! Our visistors heard us. That sucks! :( After a few mins., dad came. My sister denied that she didnt insult me. Since I am older than her (im 21 n she's 18) dad was in her side and mom too. I didn't do anything wrong. She just came and started a fight. I lose hope, i think everything is my fault, everything! =( Im scared of going to school coz my prof discriminates me coz imnot good enough to speak and understands Norwegian but it's not true and she failed me twice before. I dont know what to do. Everything happened this evening was really my fault and thats what they think. I dont like to talk to my sister anymore. SHE HURTS ME THOUSAND TIMES since we were young. Is it because I dont fight back? Is it because I dont talk back? And is it because im not proceeding to college? Im suffering from depression and i want them to support me and understands me once in a while. I dont know what to do. Hoping for your good advices and suggestions. Thank u.
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