What should I do? He's a coworker and sexually harassing me ?

Question

I know that you can get fired for this but I am in a difficult one. So I began working with this exchange student and is from russia. He ALSO came with his long term girlfriend od 2 yrs and I talk to her too. Well to start off, this guy is a super flirt with any girl...And I am too but because I am single and I just do it to mess around...he usually gazes into my eyes and I just look away. He flirts infront of my mom and thats embarassing too. He is super good looking but I have no feelings towards his what so ever. Anyhow, today we were joking around as we were working...he carries ice and he tried puting ice in my work dress! and I got mad but didn't say much because it never did. Well at the end of the day I did...Put an ice cube down his shirt but he replied in a violent way. He smacked my butt three times with his bare hands. I was VERY thoughtful after that that my mom got mad because I wasn't focusing..(duh). But as he smacked my butt I told him "Don't do that to me, its not very nice"...I would have thought of better but it just came out of my too quick to think...I was quiet around him since and I was walkin down the hall...coworker over heard everything and I just looked upset. I haven't told anything to my mother because I have been thinking about it lately. I feel like I am put in a touch situation because I got him back for what he did so I don't want to get fired. I have been spanked on my butt by another! coworker at my college but my ex, bf then talked to him and made him apologize (and my bf did it too) I have been sexually harassed in the past for 6 yrs keeping my mouth shut. It hard for me...help I donno what to do. Thank you...I am a shy quiet one and I feel that i need to be respected more...I never flirted with these guys intentionally to get somewhere..so why spank me jokinly?

I don't want to fire anyone because I feel everyone makes mistakes...same with the sexuall abuser from ages 5-10 i didn't want him to go to jail because I didn't want our family to fall apart since we are so close. I feel guilty.

MATURE advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

It sounds like both of you need a lesson in proper workplace behavior. You both need to take a class on sexual harassment and behavior.  

Answer 2

I'm recommending counseling. You have some deep rooted problems. And Quit flirting if you are so shy. How does shy and flirting fit together? But get some help, you've got problems that need Professional help.

Answer 3

Tell him !

if that doesnt work you will need to go to your boss.

Answer 4

You use so many words to say little about nothing! Whatever happened here has nothing to do with sexual harrassment, you go around flirting with guys and when they flirt back you cry wolf? If you maintain your dignity i believe this would not happen. I think you'r just a spoilt brat that needs to grow up and know how to handle men.

Answer 5

Okay.

You were sexually abused as a child and your boundaries are poor.      You learned to excuse people for trampling on your boundaries and feel guilty for standing up for yourself.  The person who abused you as a child needs to be held accountable for his/her actions and you need counseling with a competent therapist who specialises in treating survivors of sexual abuse.  The perspective you will gain will help you a lot in asserting yourself and learning how to stand up for yourself the moment anyone tries to push your boundaries.

Now, this russian fool you work with.  The time he went to put the ice cube down your shirt - that's when you needed to put a halt to his behaviour.  A sharp "No!  That's disrespectful" in a loud voice is usually enough to stop this kind of rubbish.  Instead, you went to do the same thing to him, buying into the "horseplay", and he's retaliated by assaulting you.  He shouldn't have hit you.  He's showing you upfront that he thinks he has dominance over you.  You need to go to your supervisor and report it.

Six years of sexual harassment?  Girl, you need to draw a line. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

Now, go stand up for yourself and get some professional help.  Good luck.

Answer 6

If you are not a sexual person, get out and find another job!  Some people are more sexual than others! Either that or tell you supervisor/manager.

Answer 7

Face him gal en be a strong women tell him its should never happen again en he shuold behave,dont let men misuse you gal u have the potential be strong

Answer 8

You are not a victim. you acted back in a flirty way so dont play poor me. also in other countries they are not as uptight and stuff as Americans. I am sure he sees nothing wrong with what he did and i dont either. you put ice right back down his shirt, that's a freaking invitation. I do not agree with sexual harassment but you are just trying to play victim. You make me ashamed to be a woman.

Answer 9

gee if that is what you call sexual harrassment that is sad, it is more like playing between friends

edit very true comments BUBBLES