What should I do? I feel insecure and threatened by my boyfriend’s close female friend!?

Question

I think he has a crush on her. Should I tell him knowing that he may be hurt because I think he has a crush on this woman? What is the best way to approach this? I know my husband loves me and I probably do have some insecurities when it comes to other women. I want to be open and honest with my feelings, when I bottle it up it tends to explode and cause me to behave in a way that punishes my significant other.

Answer 1

You really need to talk to him about it because he won't know how you feel unless you tell him. Let him know that you're feeling jealous... just admit it. He will respect you for owning up to it. Then maybe ask him how he would feel if you were doing the things he is doing. Maybe he will understand. Then, work something out that you both will agree on. Like, him not spending time with her alone, or having you around when she is around. Don't freak out though, it will only make things worse!

Answer 2

Evaluate your reasons with a calm and level head. They should be legitimate reasons. Your husband checking her out once or twice doesn’t count. Try to evaluate these reasons without allowing your insecurity to influence your decisions. If you decide that he really does have a crush on her, present your reasons to him in a calm conversation. Let him know it is bothering you, and you would appreciate him coming clean about any feelings he may have for her.

Even if you decide your reasons are frivolous, you still need to talk to him. Let him know you have a tendency to be insecure about other women, and it would help if he made an effort not to feed this insecurity. This conversation will give him a greater appreciation of your insecurity issue and allow your relationship to grow stronger.

Answer 3

There is no reason you can't just say how you feel with your husband. After all he is your husband. Why do you feel threatened by her? I think you should be looking at that and finding a way to see why he is with you etc....