What should I do? I still love my ex.?

Question

I have been unhappily married for almost six years. I have three children, and I pretty much support the family. My husband and I do not get along we have had problems since we got married. He is so headstrong and does not like to listen. He loves chaos! On another note I have always felt like I made a mistake. I have always felt like I should have married my first love. I do not love my husband, and I think the years of not getting along have built up so much anger. I do not even like to look at him. I am planning on telling him I want a divorce. I have to be honest with myself, I still love my ex. The problem is I am not sure if he feels the same way about me. We have not spoken five years! He was upset with me for getting married, he wanted me to wait. He wanted me to wait and have my baby at that time, but I didn't. I don't know if he could ever forgive me. I know he was very upset when he found out I got married, and he could not talk to me about my problems because he still cared for me. I think that is kind of why we could not just be friends. Anyway, I have a class reunion coming up and I know we will see each other. I need closure, and I do not know what I should do when I see him. He told me years ago that he could never think anything bad about me, and that he would always care for me. I know I am in his heart and he did tell me that he was sad because he had always hoped we would get back together. What should I do when I see him? He is still single after all this time.

Answer 1

Do you know where your ex boyfriend lives? If you think he is living at  the same place call information get his number and  then call him, tell him how you feel , tell him that you do NOT love your husband that you still love him. If he feels the same way tell him you are divorcing your husband and want to be with him. If you can't find where he is go on line type in:       http://www. People Search.com  then you type his name and state that  he lives in.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm just thankful that I'm not one of those two guys. Good grief.

Answer 3

Sweetheart, you are living in a fantasy land. You don't like your reality, so you naturally prefer thinking about rosy clouds and rainbows. The truth is you are not the same person he knew back when. You have accumulated a significant amount of baggage. I suspect that you are pretty selfish right now and have absolutely no regard for setting any good example for your kids and you are ready to sacrifice their happiness for yours. The truth of going that way means several unhappy people including yourself. Your struggle will be harder.  I hope you come to your senses and see what you have and be thankful. So many couples can't conceive children and you are taking all that for granted to satisfy a previous crush. You would be better served to go s***w him and get it over with. Take Care.

Answer 4

Its as the old expression goes the grass is not greener on the other side. If he loved you so much and you had a special place in his heart why didn't he marry you at first. Why is it that you had to have three children with another man who married you by the way and your ex didn't. I would think about that why did he want you to wait, and if you loved him so much why didn't you wait for the love of your life. Now you have this poor man who willingly married you and had his children only to discover ten years later that you love some man who wouldn't marry you. You probably aren't even giving your marriage the time and attention it needs because your still thinking of another man. You might as well go to your reunion and cheat because that's whats going to happen. But sadly to say you probably won't be happy with the ex either.  

Answer 5

How do you know he is single if you havent talked to him in 5 years? AND since it has been 5 years, who knows if he is even the same person he once was- 5 years can change a person! As long as your not leaving your marriage JUST because of this man. Married people often fantasize about what it would be like to be with their first love/an ex but then theres reality. The grass is always greener...

Answer 6

If you really love each other you would have stayed together.

I think you see him as a magical way out... a security blanket in life.

You have 3 kids and pretty much support the family yourself. There is no reason you can't leave if you don't like things.

But, don't go running back to the EX. You need to take some time to just be you for a while.  

Answer 7

You have to do what your heart tells you to do.  Even if you and your ex doesn't get together, you shouldn't stay in a marriage that you are so unhappy in.  It's not doing you any good or your children.

Answer 8

I take it your three children are your husbands?  If so you need to try everything you can to work things out with him.  Your kids are the real concern now.  Have you tried counseling?

Answer 9

If you plan to tell your husband that your getting a divorce,I suggest you do it before the reunion.If your ex is interested in rekindling a relationship,I suggest you tell him how you feel,but not see him socially until after the divorce is final..

Answer 10

Whether or not you and your ex can be together the bottom line is that you and your husband don't get along! If you are really that unhappy in your marriage then you should end it regardless of your ex's marital status. If you decide to divorce your husband make sure you do it for the right reasons and not another man. Six years is a long time and at this point you need to work on yourself!!