What should I do about a Deadbeat dad???

Question

My father left me when i was only two years old because of a woman he was dating at that time. I never had contact until I found my sisters on myspace more than a year ago. I have a relationship with my sisters. I have forgiven him but I do not want anything to do with him. He thinks that my mom has poisoned my mind by saying bad things about him yet she rarely mentioned him and when she did it was neutral. I feel that I would be an idiot to have a relationship with someone who has proven to be irresponsible and someone i cannot count on, why would i set myself up for being hurt again, What do you think i should do?

Answer 1

You'll never know, until you try to get to know him.  Do this only if you think you will be able to handle the outcome, positive or negative.

Deadbeat dads are generally selfish and immature, among other things.  You need to understand that he probably loves you in his own way, but he's most likely very self-centered.  Otherwise, he would have been up to date of child support and kept in contact with you your entire life.  He'll probably make up all sorts of excuses, but there really aren't any legitimate ones, imho.

Weigh all the pros and cons, so you go into this with your eyes wide open.  If you can handle it, I say try to get to know him.  He will no doubt have some good points.  Try to not put yourself in the postition of being too disappointed.  You probably won't be able to count on him for much.

Be happy you have a mom you can count on.  It's great you found your siblings, too.

Good luck.

Answer 2

  I am in the same boat! My Father left when I was 5 and now at 28. I found him about 8 years ago and I gave him a chance to be apart of my life and my kids Life. I have only heard from him 3 times in Eight years. I gave up. I am so better without him.  The only thing I can say is it is so up to you. No one can tell you what to do. You need to make up your own mind.  I hope you all the best!

Answer 3

He is still your father. And sometimes it is 'better the devil you know'. You know he can't be trusted and you can't count on him but there is no reason not to have a relationship with him. Don't count on him and don't trust him. You can just seem him every now and then to maintain the relationship.

Who knows - in time he may change or may earn your trust and you may be pleased that you kept in contact with him.