What should I do about a girl in my daughter's class who is harassing her?

Question

My daughter is in 6th grade. Ever since kindergarten, a girl named Melinda has been harassing her ... sometimes subtly, sometimes not. Every once in awhile, Melinda will make friendly overtures, but my daughter knows she can't trust Melinda, so she more or less blows them off. In the past few months, Melinda has found a new way to bother my daughter ... by getting right up into her face and staring at her. My daughter has tried telling her to stop, asking her what she wants and ignoring her, but nothing works. She told me about it and I made the teacher aware of it. This teacher is very strict and knows Melinda is a troublemaker, so she said she'd keep on eye on her ... but today, my daughter came home upset again and said she's sick of it so obviously it's still going on. What should I do know? Talk to Melinda directly, talk to Melinda's mother, talk to the principal or the teacher again? Thanks!

Answer 1

phone up the year tutor or form teacher to keep an eye on them, and possibly raise the issue with them.

a girl i went to school with claimed i was bullying her and we raised it with the year tutor and it all got sorted out! (and she saw i was the innocent one haha!)

but yeh if your daughter has a favourite teacher or anything let them know.

good luck!

Answer 2

you can try asking the principal if she can change classes or try to make her schedule change and work around the other girls classes

Answer 3

Report this to the principal.  Then maybe have a meeting with the principal and the other parents.  This is  not to be tolerated.

Answer 4

I have a little sister in school and my mom is dealing with this same type of thing. My mom has gone to the principal and the teachers. Asking that my sister and that girl be seperated in the classroom and in the halls/etc. Also she put in a request for that girl not to be in my sisters class next year.

Answer 5

OK well all those options are all great, but u should use each option in order. first talk to the teacher again. ( sometimes teachers may feel they cant gang up on one student because they are only teachers, not the principal.) Then if nothing happens, i would go to the Principal. the Principal can make a huge difference in kids because serious consequences can occur if something doesn't change, and usually the bully ( Melinda) will get that message. You even can get the school councilor involved. If nothing happens still u should definitely go to the parents. parents are around the kids all the time, so there would be no way for Melinda to ignore the punishments. now that i think about it DO NOT go  to Melinda unless u catch Melinda in action. (the only reason why i am saying this is Melinda's parents may get seriously mad if they take it the wrong way, and the tormenting of your daughter may get worse cause then the harassment may be encouraged if u know Wat i mean.)

Hope i helped!

Answer 6

Don't talk with Melinda. You don't want to step on her parents toes. Even if they aren't doing a very good job, you may need their help and you don't want them mad at you to start off. Talk with both the principal and teacher. They both need to know exactly what's going on and then it will be them who contact Melinda's parents. The principal's job in these matters is to be the mediator, so take advantage of this.

Bullying is a very serious issue. I was where your daughter is for most of my school life. Sometimes, there's nothing that can be done to change it, but you have to try to change it anyway. Just focus less on punishing or stopping Melinda, and more on your daughter. She will need to move past this and it can be very hard to do. But if she can, she will end up a better person because of it. And school will be behind her very soon.

Answer 7

Give your daughter some coping strategies - what can she do that is different. Examples - something entirely unexpected like giving her a big hug, give her a big kiss... something that's totally WEIRD and the bully will probably leave her alone because she'll determine that your daughter is too strange to mess with.

Your daughter needs to take back the power and be in charge, or else she could really suffer from this. The bully is smart - she isn't touching or hurting her physically - that makes it difficult for the school to intervene.

It is doubtful that the bully's mother would be able to do anything, though it's worth a try if the surprise tactic doesn't work.

G'luck!

Answer 8

WOW MY LIL BRO HAS THE SAME PROBLEM WITH THIS DUDE. HE IS ALWAYS PUSHING HIM AND HITTING HIM. TWO WEEKS AGO HE GAVE MY LITTLE BROTHER 21 STITCHES I THINK YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT QUICKLY BEFORE IT GOES OUT OF HAND. YOU SHOULD TELL THE PRINCIPAL TO SWITCH HER CLASS SO SHE WONT BE WITH THAT MELINDA GIRL SHE SEEMS REAL MEAN AND BRATTY

Answer 9

I would schedule a parent/parent/teacher conference.  Talk to your daughters teacher and have her arrange a time to get all of you together to discuss whats going on.  Make sure both girls are present so they know whats going on and whats supposed to happen afterwards.  I know that if i was called to my sons class about him being a bully, i would make every effort to correct the problem ASAP!

Answer 10

Request a conference with the teacher and the principal together to make them aware that it is continuing and to make the principal aware period. Ask the prinicipal to have a conference with Melinda's mom, since the principal did not know all these years, he/she could not have made the mom aware. If that doesn't make an immediate effect, I would give it 2 days tops, then schedule a conference with the prinicipal again, and tell him/her that you would like Melinda's mom to sit in on this one. It's too late in the school year to switch classes but the prinicipal can be made aware to separate them for next year. Good luck, hope that this helps.

Answer 11

Demand a solution.

Either your child needs to be pulled from that class and placed in a new one or the other girl does. This could escalate to a much bigger problem if it isn't stopped now.

This age group can't be "reasoned" with, and obviously there has been not disciplinary actions by the teacher, who should know what's going on, or this girls parents if they have been made aware of the situation.

I had a problem like this in 7th grade, only I was threatened daily with physical violence and had rumors spread about me. When I tried to take matters in my own hands, I was sat down with this girl to "work things out."

She started crying an lied about what was going on, and I was told by the Principal that I would be in trouble if I was making stuff up! My parents were livid.

My father made a visit to the Principal that day and found out that the girl had a disciplinary record a mile long, while I had had no behavioral problems. So my dad had me removed from all the classes I had with her. Problems solved.

I didn't cross paths with her till later in school but never had the same incidents with her again. She wasn't nice to me, but I could handle it.

My younger sister started to have some of the same problems with a girl when she was in 8th grade. The school wanted to try "peer mediation." The two with problems sit down and talk with a few other students and a counselor about their problems.

But my folks didn't hesitate to have her placed in a new class. The had to argue with the Principal about it for a bit tho, who finally admitted that most problems were not solved by peer mediation.

Answer 12

I feel very sorry for your poor daughter who has to deal with such an obviously unbalanced girl. If you have already tried to go through the proper channels such as reporting this behavior to the principle then you may have no recourse but to pull your daughter out of that school and send her to another or even Home School her. I had such a problem and I tried to speak to the girl, to her mom to the school... the harassment continued till I took my daughter home and schooled her myself. However this girl lived near our neighborhood and started standing out side my house and yelling. I told the cops but nothing could be done. So I went over to visit this girl's mother. I looked her in the face and told her if it happened again that I was gonna come over to her house and kick her butt! I hate to use that sort of force but some people do not understand anything else. Peace&Love be with you...~M~

Answer 13

By the time you reach 6th grade you are capable of controlling your actions and clearly this girl enjoys the reaction she gets from your daughter.  It sounds as if your daughter has been doing everything right from ignoring the behavior to directly addressing her. If nothing is working you need to take bigger steps to resolve it.

I would ask the principal if you could arrange a meeting with them and the attendees of the meeting should be the principal, Melinda, Melinda's mother, your daughter, yourself and their teacher.  

I would not recommend just speaking to Melinda as I imagine you will not get very far and by only speaking to her mother you do not involve the school which is where this behavior is occurring.

I am sorry you daughter has been experiencing this for so long. School is hard enough without having your own personal bully. I hope Melinda soon learns to leave her alone.

Answer 14

Try talking to the teacher again; this'll let her know that you REALLY mean business this time.

Does your daughter's school have a guidance counselor/family specialist? If so, talking to them could really help. Our school's counselor really helped out when my stepdaughter was in a certain situation with a few boys in her class. She sat down with the kids, and they worked out a plan together and signed a 'contract' not to have further problems. This really helped and my stepdaughter hasn't had any problems with these boys since.

Good luck!

Answer 15

call melinda's mother first. if you get no satisfaction then get the school involved again.

I had a problem years ago with a little boy walking up and taking my son's glasses of his face. this concerned me a little the first time or two, but another mother called me the third time. her daughter was so upset that she got off the bus crying about the kid that was being mean to my son. i called the bullies mom and told her about the situation. I also mentioned that his glasses were $100, and I'd hate to have to ask her to pay for them if they got broken. she was shocked her son was doing it since he had also worn glasses, but it never happened again.

If you tell your daughter to do something to melinda, make sure you tell the teacher that you have told your daughter to "X" melinda so your daughter doesn't get in trouble. the hug or kiss just might work, especially if it is in front of other kids. Of course getting up in her face is annoying, and the only thing that might work is something physical . I had a kid that used to constantly invade my personal space at work. I finally got sick of it and "accidently" elbowed him in the gut while he was standing 2 inches behind me. that and a comment about personal space got through to him, and he never did it again. I  just got a good idea. tell your daughter that if melinda gets really close up in her face she should lean over real quick and l**k her face from chin to forehead, then walk off. my 2 year old does it to me and it is soooo gross.

Answer 16

report her or talk to teacher or parents

Answer 17

I'm sorry...this is such a hard thing to go through and a really tough age for boys and girls.  The boys and girls are trying to establish dominance in their 'clique', and the hormones are raging....what a tough time.  I guess I would request a meeting with the teacher, the principle, the guidance counselor to begin with.  I would let them decide how to handle the girl and her mother.  Just because sometimes, the kids only practice what they hear/see at home.  I would hate to think that the girl's mom would encourage this, but it happened at my son's jr. high school with a dad and son.  

Please be sure and let your daughter know what you plan and keep her in the loop.  Ask her if she wants to be part of the meeting with the school officials, and honor her decision.  

Try to give your daughter other things to do when this girl confronts her.....smart sayings or funny things that would embarrass the girl.....like give her a big hug and say 'I didn't know you cared'  or something.

Please tell your daughter to hang tough for me........it does get better!!

Good Luck

Momma P

Answer 18

I would go to the principal and tell him you want it stopped immediately and if he still does nothing go to this girls mother and if she does nothing go to the school board .

Answer 19

I think that your daughter should take a fight class and beat the ***** down.

Answer 20

talk to Melinda's parents about it

Answer 21

Well,I am in school and know what it's like to be freaked out like that. I know this doesnt sound like the thing you'd expect, but try the "twin punishment".Its a little something we kids who get bullied made up and it actually seems to work.Your daughter dhould act towards Melinda the same way Melinda acts towards her. Stare at her blankly and stuff. Mimic her.She will be scaring Melinda slowly and eventually she'll be left alone.Trust me, it works wonders.Hope I helped, and if it doesn't work, email me at [e-mail]. I have a whole list of handy dandy lil tricks to use against bullies...psychological tricks, no physical harm.

Answer 22

when i was in 4th and 5th grade these girls were harrasing me and my best friend. you should talk to the girls parents and tell them what melinda has been doing and if it gets worse talk to the principal.

hope i helped

Answer 23

I would speak to the principal, this girl is a bully.  In future years try to see that they aren't in the same classes unless totally necessary

Answer 24

Maggie is right...If nothing else works, you should probably transfer her to another school.

Answer 25

I know what you should do.CALL MELINDAS MOM!! surely her mom knows how to dicipline a child.Call the teacher,ask for melindas mom phone number and then just call her. she has to have full responsibility for her child.Why not?

Answer 26

Have you ever spoken to Melinda's parents before?  If not, then that's where you should start.   It's one thing for the teacher to keep an eye on her in the classroom, but this behavior probably carries over to the school yard, the bus, and other places.  Melinda's parents need to know that she is harrassing your daughter, and they need to make her stop.

Answer 27

I guess report her idont know.

Answer 28

Go to the principle. Don't go to the mother she's probably an a r s e hole.