What should I do about a problem with my mother and banking gone bad?

Question

When I was just turning 16 and working at my first job, I needed my parents to help me open a checking account. I left the account open once I joined the military and now I am being charged for it's being over drawn. I was gone from home in 2001 and it was overdrawn in 2004. I have some documentation that shows the only part I had any effect on was depositing money into the account when I had extra money. The money in question is over 1500 deposited by me into the account... the account was overdrawn in the amount of over 800 what do I do. My mother was the only one that had access. If someone has an answer I would greatly appreciate a little direction. This is feeling like a huge betrayal among other things. What should I do?

Answer 1

It was a betrayal.

If ANYONE has access to your account YOU are responsible for that account.  This is just one of life's nasty lessons.  Don't take the risk if you can't make it right.

Give your mother the documentation of your account.  Ask her to make it right.  If she cannot, just learn from it and move on.  You risk ruining your relationship with her over $800 ... and that is a very small price to pay for saving your family.

Next ... close that account and get one in your own name.  

Answer 2

I can certainly understand your feeling betrayed if you think your mother took your money.

If you are certain that it was your mother, you need to gently confront her about it -- ask her about the withdrawal and when and how does she plan to repay you.  Was she in dire straits and you were not around to check on it?  

I am not sure how you are being charged for an account that was overdrawn 4 years ago unless it has been an ongoing thing since most banks will close an account that is continually overdrawn.

If she did not do it -- possibly there was a bank error or fraud? --- then there is nothing to do since you have waited 4 years to correct it.

added comment:  

If they sold the loss to a collection agency you may actually be better off financially because the bank already has all the money they think they will ever see from the debt -- what you pay to the collection agency will NEVER go to the bank. Usually these are sold to these agencys for whatever the collection agency will pay them (maybe only a couple of hundred dollars) and the bank washes their hands (and books) of the debt.  The collection agency "bets" they can get some amount greater than what they paid the bank from you -- they may be the ones actually adding the fees and not the bank.

Anyway, tell the collection agency you will pay them some amount (like 15% or 20% of the reported debt) or nothing.  They will probably jump on it since it will likely be more than what they paid the bank.  Get the details in writing before you pay them anything, send the money via registered mail so that you have a receipt, and then have them send you a receipt.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think your options are limited.  At a minimum you should bring the account to zero balance and close it.  

I would confront your mom and ask her about the money.  I was once in the military and I certainly attest that $800 is quite a large amount.  I would make sure you know that it was your mom prior to confronting her.  Gather all of the evidence and if it was her, then tell her you want to sit down and discuss your bank account.  Sit down and show her the evidence and tell her how dissapointed you are that she took the money without your knowledge.  I would set up a payment plan and let her redeem herself by paying you back the money.

I don't know the rules regarding fraud but if your Mom has legal access to the account there isn't much you can do about sueing her for the money.  After all, if your mom is taking money from you, then sueing her won't do you any good.  It doesn't sound like she has the money to pay you back even if you won.  Now, if she forged your name or something illegal then you may have reason to report her to the police.  It sounds rough but if your mom stole from you she needs to know it was really bad.  Don't worry too much about how your Mom feels about you confronting her or reporting her to the police.  She didn't care about what you would think when she took the money.  If your Mom becomes mad and tries to shut you out it's just a method of trying make you look bad.   No matter what you do, be prepared for her to overreact to the situation.  Denial is one of the first methods of coping with a difficult sitatuation.  She's forced you into this position try not to be too sympethetic to her cause.

You're in a tight spot and I certainly don't envy your position.  Good Luck.