What should I do about an alcoholic aunt?

Question

she is tearing our family apart.....she is 43 yrs old. my grandma (her mom) has doesnt even speak to her because of her addiction and she wont leave my grandmothers house.....she has lost every apartment she ever got and her credit is jacked up.....today she was in the house and completely drunk around my 5 yr old brothers....we are too through with her....she has been away to AA at least 3x and she will stay clean for about a yr or 2 and then come back home and relapse....i dont know what to do about her...i feel she is a lost cause

Answer 1

The only thing that you can do is let her go...one day at a time.  You don't need to disrespect her because she disrespects herself enough as it is.  What you and your family need to do is either an intervention, or simply stop enabling her.  Your grandmother needs to tell her to leave.  By letting her stay, she is enabling her to continue with the behavior.

There is a human being behind the alcoholic, a real woman who is waiting for the chance to redeem herself.  If you ask her why she drinks, she probably can't tell you.  The only thing she knows is this:  she is absolutely powerless over alcohol, and she probably feels like there is no hope for her.

The real deal is this:  your anunt needs to be in a detox facility that will help her safely get through detox.  She could actually go into siezures if she stops cold turkey, so there are a number of issues going on.

Hang in there and try to remember the aunt that you used to remember, because she is still in there trying to get out.  Don't give up on her, but don't enable her anymore.  And don't throw stuff from the past in her face, it doesn't accomplish anything except making her feel even worse, and then that leads to more drinking to cover up the feelings of worthlessness.  She needs to get down to the bottom of the pain she's feeling, because all alcoholics drink to hide pain.  Count your blessings that it hasn't happened to you...but it could...addiction does not discriminate, so be careful with judgement...but for the grace of God go I.  Good luck sweetheart.

Answer 2

she has shown your family that she is beyond your help.  so the family needs to get a back bone and get this leech outta gmas house and cut her loose COMPLETELY.  she is making a choice to live her life like that the family isnt.  it will be painful to let her go but what are you gona do continue to be miserable because of the decisions of a grown woman?  good luck

Answer 3

I really know where you are coming from unfortunately.

My aunt had a alcohol problem, a very serious one, she drank a bottle of whisky a day for many many years.

As a child i never noticed but as i grew older i would notice her drinking a hot Toddy ( scottish whisky hot drink) first thing in the morning. Now she lived with her sister my gran, who had Parkinson's and cassie cared for her.

my nan died very suddenly, and cassie was in shock, she moved into a bungalow, and things went down hill rapidly.

one afternoon i want too see her, i must of been 15 or so, she took ages too open the door and when she did she swayed and then collapsed on the floor. i phoned my mum who phoned a ambulance.

she was taken in and had jaundice and liver failure on setting, she was a mess, and too top it off she had body lice!!! i swear, as she has been getting so drunk and not looking after herself, she had not bathed for god no's how long, it was awful

she stayed in for ages and they weaned her off drink and then she got a little flat in a little complex for the elderly she was doing fab.

then one afternoon we got a call that she had been found dead by staff, she had had a heart attack

the post Morten revealed major liver and kidney failure.

when clearing the flat we found numerous bottles of whisky hidden everywhere, so in the end she litterally killed herself with the drink.

the point of me telling you this is, cassie was in such a mess and was so close too death, she got better and yet the drink was too tempting and she went back.

alcoholism is such a awful illness and as your aunt is still young (cassie was almost 70) she can get better and start to try and heal her liver wtc.

but only if she really wants too, as making her do it will not work, look at cassie.

i feel for you and your family i know its aful watching someone you care for destroy themselves, but just be there for her and try and get someone too talk too her maybe councelor, but ultimatly its down too her.

take care