What should I do about argument with my mother?

Question

My mother is very old fashioned in her beliefs. I have a lovely boyfriend. We are both from different countries; I'm French, he is Polish. We are both white, english speaking catholics. We are living in my home country now. My mother thinks it's a huge taboo! She won't tell anyone about us and keeps it a secret. She says we shouldn't be together and that he does not have enough money. He has a normal 9-5 job. I love him and I don't need any financial support, I love him for who he is. Any advice?

My mon is a devoted mother, and a good person, but we can't see eye to eye on this and it's causing pain for both of us.

We have been living together for almost two years, we have plenty money for bills, holidays and savings.

Answer 1

leave your mom and her advices aside. Respect her, speak rarely. When you speak just ask how she is, wish a good day, turn off the phone. Live your life.  

Answer 2

Then why aren't you married? If you are catholic, then you know you are living in sin. Have you considered this is what is upsetting your mother?

Mothers always want what is best for their daughters. Perhaps she loved a man in her youth and it turned out badly and she see's that in your relationship. Perhaps she wonders why if you are good enough to live with, that you are not good enough to marry.

Its not old fashioned to want to protect your child, its natural. You say you are happy, you have plenty of money, and that he is a good person. What is stopping him from wanting you to be his wife? As a mother, that is the question I would ask my own daughters.  

Answer 3

I guess that most people would say ignore her and live your own life but sometimes parents have a good point of view that you can't see. Try to talk to her and see if she maybe has a valid reason other than excessive money. If not just ignore her!

Answer 4

When I first met my wife, the most important thing to me was to protect her honor, That's all that your mother is worried about especially since you and your lover are not. Shacking up is now popular and for the male extremely convenient, but in many people's eyes the woman looses her self respect. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

She just has to accept that you are with him.  She will get over it eventually, but you can't let her dictate who you will love.

Not.Me is just plain nasty.

Answer 6

well our parents r from the old generation. but the same time they dont understand our need. if we r doing right dont worry... the same time they think they know best for u... as far u are happy with him u can prove her right if not just to make her happy just lie to her that u r not with him and later when u appea with him to ur parents she maybe fine

Answer 7

Tell your mother that you understand how she may feel and you are sympathetic  to the way she feels and her beliefs. However, you cannot help the way that you feel towards this person and that she should be grate full that you have found someone that you can love with this much feeling. If she is a truly a loving and devoted mother as you say she will give you understanding and try very hard to accept him and work out your differences.