What should I do about my creepy co-worker?

Question

There is this girl who is a temp in my office like me. For some reasone I think she is trying to bond with me, but she kinda creeps me out. I can't put my finger on it. she talks like she is in a cult, doesnt break eye contact, has no idea about personal space, and lingers in my cube too long. Other people have noticed her trying to do this to them, and think it is funny she has moved on to me, I can't be mean to someone who hasnt done anything really wrong This has been going on for about 2 wks. I tried to be nice I thought if i gave her some attention it would calm down. It hasn't. She asked if I wanted to go get coffee, I turned her down, she asked about lunch, and looked kinda sad and said she doesnt want to eat alone in her cube again. I felt bad so I guess I am going to eat with her, may try to get out of it, but I get it...she's lonely, she's new, but I don't HAVE to be her friend and she creeps me out! She lingers around too long and even if I am on the phone or bus

Answer 1

Well, after having lunch with her you will be able to tell just how "creepy" she is and if you don't want anything to do with her after that it will be difficult. If so, just politely decline her invitations and when she hangs at your cube, tell her you are busy.

Answer 2

be nice but truthfull, she needs to learn boundaries do not let her ruin your career.

If you can connect her to other people that you seldom associate with then maybe that will dilute the problem.

Answer 3

maybe shes tryn to send a message but doesn't know how too ask. like the others say ,be nice and notify the supervisor if this keeps up. She probably has few real friends and never received proper attention at home from family. Try to be honest with her. Sound like she needs a little guidance in social situations.

Answer 4

Next time she shows up at planet cubicle, tell her you'd really love to chat, but you need absolute privacy while you put on your tinfoil hat and contact the Mother Ship for instructions.

Answer 5

Just be nice to her but try to make excuses so that she doesn't linger around you too long.  I've been in that situation before and sometimes you have to be cruel to be nice.

Answer 6

Be nice and have lunch with her.  If she's really weird, you don't have to hang out with her again.  Maybe she isn't creepy-- maybe she's just trying too hard to get to know people.

Answer 7

just be nice, it is hard to be the new girl and some people just don't understand that they can be annoying. Try to put yourself in her shoes.

Answer 8

Extroverts can seem intrusive or overneedy to introverted people. She may well just be young and lost in the big ol scary workplace. She may have even asked on Yahoo Answers "how do I get along better at work" and was encouraged to make overtures!

It may be kindest of you to let her know, in this office it is expected that one not hover in the hallway or linger about for friendly chats - a polite "good morning" not the story of your life, will do. As for lunches and breaks, I happen to use that time for personal phone calls or to regroup and not think about work, so I'm very sorry but I don't enjoy spending that time with colleagues rehashing their day. Nothing personal.

Answer 9

I can relate to that.  There is someone that I work with who has some problems recognizing appropriate boundaries.  It almost seems at times as though she is staring at me when she talks to me, and does not understand the concept of looking away every now and then.  She also lingers too long  after a conversation is over, and does not understand that it is time to turn away and walk back to her cubicle.

I think part of it is a definite personality disorder, but part of it is also that person being sad and lonely.  They seem desperate to have any connection.  It also sounds like you have a good heart, and that since you don't tell her off like others might, she has now attached to you as a safe harbor.

What I recommend is this . . . kindly, but firmly tell her, that you have work and other matters that you need to take care of, and that you do not have time to visit with her.  Do you best to say "hello" and smile when you see her in the building during the day, but do not go out of your way to engage in conversations with her.

Do not feel guilty about the fact that she has boundary issues.  You are a good person, but you do not have to be burdened by her problems.

Answer 10

What makes you think she's in a cult?  Anywho, you should give her a chance.  I think she is just trying to be friendly and maybe trying new approaches.  I was very shy at my last job and didn't have alot of friends, so I started my new job off by being very friendly and outgoing.  Entertain her before you write her off totatally.  You all may turn out to be great friends.

Answer 11

Go have a talk with your supervisor and tell him or her what this girl is doing. Tell him she is very intrusive and bothers you when you are trying to be productive.He will have a talk with her or relieve her from her position. She should be there to do her job, not socialize.