What should I do about my fiance's mother?

Question

She is so rude and from day one, she has not accepted me. My fiance's family is significantly wealthier than I am and they are also Jewish, which I am not. Last July I went on a trip with them where the mother was so rude to me and I told my fiance that I didn't want to go back. Well, I was invited again this July with the promise that they would not be rude to me. Well, when we were at our destination his mother started talking to my fiance about how classless I am and how my mother should have raised me better like I wasn't even around...mind you, I never did anything to this woman...ever. I am thinking that maybe I have been too nice to her and that's why she is walking all over me, but then again, I don't want to be rude to her and have her make my life more miserable...

Answer 1

Are you Jewish? Some Jewish parents want their children to marry other people who are Jewish. Talk to her one on one. Ask her why she doesn't consider you as the marrying type for her son? Some mothers can be overly protective of their sons and assume they know what's best for them. Ask your fiance to talk with his parents and if this doesn't help, tell your fiance and soon to be in-laws that you will not tolerate all the belittling they continue to thrust upon you. Even though you love your fiance and you can't live without him, you can live without the nastiness that you are enduring. Wishing You The Best!

Answer 2

Are you kidding me?? Snap that woman up and lay down the law! You are who you are, and apparently her son saw in you the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Establish your place now before things get worse. And by the way ... Mr. Right needs to step up and defend you if his mother thinks this is normal behavior, bashing you all the time. Don't allow her to make your life ANYTHING you don't want it to be. You are marrying her son - not her.  

Answer 3

No need to be rude....just call her on her stuff.  Look her straight in the eye and say "you can be as rude & humiliating as you'd like....since you havent taken the time to get to know me I won't take it personal...and I won't be going away any time soon either".  After this I suggest you have a long and honest conversation with your fiance...tell him that his mother is UNREASONABLY destructive...and that the effects WILL one day have an impact on your life.  It's time he stood up to his mother properly and tell her that unless she cuts this disgusting behavior out, that you and him will no longer have anything to do with her.  If he refuses to do this, I would take a long hard look at whether this is the man you should marry.  Unfortunately in cases like this the couple HAVE to be united......the only other option is the misery that accompanies abuse that you've suffered.  You've done nothing wrong, do NOT put up with this....either from her, or from your fiance not backing you.  Much luck!! :)

Answer 4

Tell her  how u feel give her a picec of ur mind and girl if he hit u take her down really im dumb serious shoot how she think she is she is just another human bean.

Answer 5

I think she is one of those mothers who had already chose a potential wife for their son. It kills her to see how much he loves you. I'm sure he has tried to talk to him about leaving you. Clearly she's failed, that's why she's indirectly attacking you.

Stay as you are. Be loving to your husband. Once you guys are married you wont have to take any **** from her. Just after your wedding walk up to her and whisper in her ear ' he's mine now & there's NOTHING you can do about it. Turn around slowly, walk to your husband, and hold his hand.

:) That ought to teach that b***h.

Answer 6

You dont do anything you show her how much class you do have by not telling her what kind of person she really is.  I have had mother-in-law problems from day one she never liked me still dont, I am not good enough for her son, dont let her attitude ruin your relationship with your fiance that is what she is hoping for.  You are marrying him not his mother (Thank Goodness).  Maybe you could have him talk with her and tell her to keep her opinions to herself.  If not enjoy your fiance and keep your distance from her if possible.  good luck to you

Answer 7

Geez, how can you stand that? I hope your husband is supportive of you. I say you should just cut her out of your life. The one and only time you'll see her in the near future is on your wedding day. Other than that, just avoid her as much as you possibly can.

Answer 8

It's your fiance's job to stand up for you. Has he? If not, you need to tell him that his is causing you significant stress and that he needs to deal with it.

In the meantime, if she says things like that in front of you, say, "I'm standing right here." Don't get angry or raise your voice, but don't let it stand either. If your fiance is too afraid to stand up to his own mother, then you should be able to defend yourself.

Answer 9

Well.... it's a very difficult situation.  Sometimes you have to weigh out the outcome of your actions before you re-act.  I know that alot of mother's feel intimidated when another woman plays a role in their sons lives.  You need to ask yourself about whether or not it's worth marrying this man.  Do he defend you when his mother becomes irate? And do he show you the proper respect when his parents are around? You see, these questions are serious questions to ask YOURSELF, regarding whether or not YOU want to make a lifetime committment with this man and unfortunately, to his family.  Think about YOUR future! would you want to have children who is subjected to her scorn as well? It's not about his mother, him, or anyone else except YOURSELF! You need to think about this relationship seriously, because once you make the next move, YOU may regret in long terms!