What should I do about my friend shes 28 looking like shes 12?

Question

is it ok for a woman to look and dress like a little girl... men would you respect a woman that looks like a little girl and she is in her 20s or 30s or would you be embarrased... my friend is 28 year old a little older than me and she dress like a little girl all the time...even at work she looks like shes 14 and with her dressing so young, men dont approach as much... she has curley hair and she always has it in a ponytail...all the time... she very small (skinny) and she wears like shirts with mickey mouse, and speghetti strap shorts and jeans she doesnt wear office outfits for work.... she looks like a little girl and she acts like one... she still lives with her mom... she always says my mom wants me home at a such and such time... like a child.... my mom hollered at me today... she doesnt know how to be in an adult conversations... when people are talking at work she doesnt even talk she shys away unless its about her mother... I swear, one day I asked her did she wanna go out with me just to go out and she said I gotta ask my mom.... and she was serious....after that I was like... what the heck... I think this is the reason she is not in a relationship nor a strong friendship... because im grown... I dont want to hear about how your mothers treating you and youre 28... I also notice that people at work treat her either like a child or like shes retarded... shes not... she just need to step up her game... either move out of mom shadow, look like a grown up for once... conversate like a grown up.... am I being rude!

Answer 1

That's her safety zone. Something could have happened in her past that triggered this. Go visit her mother one day and listen, maybe her mother will enlighten you on the situation.

Answer 2

send her pictures into what not to wear.

Answer 3

A little arrested development going on. Sounds like she's dependent on her Mother but whether the Mother has encouraged/manipulated that or whether the girl just never naturally matured is unclear from your post.

Perhaps you should just talk to her sometime about why she is as she is. Why she still lives at home, why she defers activities and decisions to her mother, why she doesn't have an "older" appearance, etc. You can make these inquiries without sounding accusing or insulting...just as if you were curious (but not judging).

After you get the info, if she shares, is when you decide to tell her to grow up, and move on with her life...or develop an understanding of why she still lives at home and perhaps agree that's the best place for her.

Doesn't sound like a terribly healthy situation though, unless there's something you aren't aware of that would make it inappropriate or out right impossible for her to move on.

Answer 4

Wow!

You're not being rude. It clearly bothers you that there's more to this girl but she's being held back by something. Of course you want to see her reach her potential.

There's nothing you can do, though, unless she feels her situation is wrong and wants help with changing it. You could ask her how she feels about her life and if she wants more independence.

You probably won't be able to do too much even though you want to help. Maybe encourage her to make some small changes. Just think of some small things that she could do that wouldn't be overwhelming. Then try to be happy if she's able to make small improvements.

Answer 5

this sounds really weird i dnt really know what to suggest, sorry =[

x-x-x

Answer 6

no ur not being rude. its understandable, but have u heard the saying "tell me who ur friends are & i will tell u who u are" well i don't think u should really associate yourself w/ her. & obviously guys aren't approaching cuz they see her & well they wont bother looking at u. it might as well be the same person. know what i mean?