What should I do about my mom, she judges me a lot?

Question

okay so, my mom is really annoying me...she judges me a lot and makes comments like "when i was your age I was always around my friends" and... "I used to wear a bikini when i was younger and i was so skinny" and im a little chubby so it kinda upsets me. then she'll say stuff like,"when are you ever going to go to the mall with your friends" and will ask me about all my friends and be like " so hows so and so, i haven't seen them forever!" at times when i havent talked to that person in a while. and in 7th grade I lost a lot of weight and my mom was like " wow you really lost weight, you used to be sooo chubby" also, I'm kinda shy and in 6th grade I knew no one in chorus and really only talked a bit to a couple people and after our recital my mom was like " how come you weren't talking to anyone" and kept asking me stuff like that and then she was in the kitchen with my dad and i heard her say " Sophie didn't talk to anyone that whole recital!!" and actually i did... I just can't stand it anymore she just makes me feel soo miserable sometimes and her and my dad talk about me and my brother all the time and some of the stuff i over hear is them just judging us, what should i do?

Answer 1

You need to tell your mom that you don't like being treated this way, and that you are not trying to back talk to her, but that you have over heard her saying stuff that make your feel horrible about the person you are, and how you look. Tell her that no one is perfect, and she needs to stop comparing her to you. Because you are not her! you are your own person. I don't have these problems with my mom. she is a lot like me. But I have had a friend that there parents would make fat comment and they went anorexic and bulimic  

Answer 2

sounds to me like your just being a little too paranoid, maybe she just wants you to be more outgoing and she doesnt want you to be a loner or maybe she is just trying to be more of a friend instead of a mom. of course you are going to see this as judgemental because you just want her to butt out, but i believe maybe she is just trying to see whats going on with you and she doesnt realize the things she may say are hurtful, i bet when she was in school she was popular, so it will be hard for her to understand why your not busy busy busy with friends and going to mall and all that stuff, being popular makes it hard to understand why everyone isnt popular, you probably are just fine with the friends you have and dont have to be center of attention, but she wants you to be more like her when she was younger. OR  she wasnt popular at all and doesnt want you to go through what she went through like not having any friends.  just tell her you are sensitive about certain subjects and you dont like to hang out alll the time, tell  her you are just fine with who you are and as your mother she should be too. if she doesnt get this, dont get mad and throw a fit, because as your mother she only wants the best and it is annoying but hey what can you do? if you grow up to hate her, if something ever happened you would regret it.

Answer 3

Ah! we share moms! I liked what lost said, a lot of truth rings from his advice. Kick *** man. I despise that my mom says things like " oh, you been at this job fo secks munfs? WHY NO WAISE?! " < yes, shes chinese > and it really irritates me, as to me, i work harder than anyone on the job. ( Heck, when i worked at century theaters, i used to climb INSIDE the popcorn machine < with a full plastic suit > to clean them ). It took me THOUSANDS of times, telling her I wanted her to talk to me like a person. To ask me about my day, and to tell me things like what she found interesting. Slowly, day by day, she filled in what i felt like was missing for the last 24 years.

She still says the same, detrimental things, but its not as constantly as it was before.

You're not a pet, but your moms also a human being.  

Answer 4

It sounds like your mother is trying to relive her youth through you. Sit her down and have a heart to heart. Tell her tat you are not her... you are her child. Let her know that the way she treats you makes you feel bad and hurts your feelings. Ultimately you are going to be stuck with how she decides to treat you until you can move out and not be dependent on her.

Ask her why she says the things she does and try to make her realize that it really is taking it's toll on you.