What should I do about my mother in law

Question

My husband, myself and our 4 kids were going to Gatlinburg, well my mother in law usually goes on vacation with 2 of her daughters but they were not going this year so she asked if she could go with us, so we said yes. She kept fussing about going to the mountains and said that she would rather go to Myrtle Beach so we gave in and made reservations for the beach. We got a 4 bedroom condo my mom and step dad are going with us as well as my mother in law me, my husband and 4 kids, well there is one bedroom with a king size bed we paid the most for the condo and we also co-sleep with our 11 month old so we said that we are taking that room the other 3 rooms have 1 with a queen the other 2 with 2 twins in each, my mom and step dad will take the queen and my mother in law can have one of the other two and my other kids will take the left over room, well the master is the only bedroom with a balcony but the den also has one, my mother in law keeps saying that she wants the room with the balcony and me and my husband and baby can have the 2 twins I dont think thats fair that we should have to sleep apart just so she can have a balcony , we also are all (me, hubby, kids, and M.I.L )going in our sububan so we said that we we would have to split the cost for gas and she said that she is NOT paying on any gas. I asked her doesnt she pay when she goes with her daughters and she said yes but gas was cheaper then and she doesnt want to use her spending money for gas, well neither do I but since we cant twitch our nose and be there then I see no way around it. Am I being unreasonable or is she wrong? What should I do without getting into a huge fight?

Answer 1

honestly since she is your husband's mother, I would respect her as much as possible (but it seems like you are trying to since you said you don't want to get into a huge fight, so that's good). i think she's being very unreasonable about the bedroom issue. I would just explain to her again that unfortunately it's not possible to exchange rooms but that there is another balcony in the house. You might also want to say something like your child is afraid to sleep without both parents in the bed...so you could make it sound almost like you're obligated to take the room ;)

but... that's surprising she's even insisting on that. she sounds difficult.

about the gas though, even if she is difficult and gets on your nerves sometimes, i wouldn't ask her to pay for gas. she took care of and provided for your husband since he was a child and i mean it's reasonable to want to repay her by inviting her on family trips, etc. I mean did your husband ever pay for gas when she took him on family trips as a kid? I feel like we owe our parents a certain amount of respect and should try and take care of them somewhat when they're older, even if they're still self sufficient. she shouldn't have to pay for the gas. she's more like a guest and personally i would never ask my parents to pay for gas when riding with me, even on a long trip. I would actually offer to pay for that and would even buy them dinner just because they're my parents. even if we were fighting..they're my parents so in the end i need to respect and love them since they loved me and changed my diapers, etc as a kid. think of all the stuff our parents did for us...

however, i still think you should be firm on the room thing but in a nice way. good luck! sounds like a tricky situation

Answer 2

well, personally i think she's being unreasonable, and my question for u is who's aying for the rooms (r u? for all of them) well, if she can't give in a little money i would just tell her in the nicests way that she's not being fair,and that if she's not going to help out at all then u should get it..

and if she can't handle that then just let her have it, cause u don't want to have a real big fight, and spoil it for the rest of the family.. so the next time u go on a vacation just don't bring her if she can't be at least reasonable at all.. sorry this is long, and i know this is probably an uncomfortable situation u'r in.. good luck, and sorry this is long lol =)

Answer 3

It sounds to me like she is looking the gift horse in the mouth. You guys weren't required to invite her and definitely didn't have to change your plans on account of her. If your husband feels the same way you do, then he should tell her you two are taking the master bedroom and she should pitch in for gas. If she doesn't like it, tough cookies. If you really want to speak your mind, I really don't think you are going to be able to do it without a huge fight. But good luck!

Answer 4

You've got a winner!  Ha Ha.  Where is your husband?  I think it is his place to stand up to his mom.  There is no way you should give up your room so she can have a balcony!  I would also be sure to let her know you changed your plans from the mountain to the beach, so she would be happy - she may not need to pay half the gas, but at least portion.  Again, I would put this in your husbands hands - she will be such more forgiving with him than she will be with you!