What should I do about my stepmom?

Question

Ok my mother died when I was just 6 years old and then my father married another woman. But she yells at me a lot. And my father is never happy with me. He seems to be taking her side. I always do my chores. Only once will I forget to empty the dishwasher and she starts yelling about how she is the only one working in the hosue. Does she have the right to yell at me since she is not my mother. I am 15 years old and I would appreciate some serious and contributing answers. And also do you think is hard to lose a mother? Is it hard to live in a family with no real mother. I just think if my mom hadn't passed away I wouldn't be such a screwup and the family would have been much happier?

Answer 1

First It is a hard thing to lose your mom at 6. There is no stronger bond then a son and his mom. Ask dad to go out to eat or a walk just you and him, tell him how you feel. Say dad I really miss my mom, and I feel like I can do no right with step mom. No matter what I do it's never good enough. Let dad know how bad you hurt. Remind dad your a good kid don't steel or do drugs cut me some slack. I assume your a good kid. Anywho tell him dad I only have 3 years until I am 18 can we work on getting along, I am sure your dad wants what's best for you.

Answer 2

From what I understand, you step mother is jealous of you, or perhaps she just doesn't like taking care of someone else's child. For her, she has stepped into your family and has the role of a secondary mother for you. However, she sounds very cruel and is not being the mother you deserve. More than likely, she will always try to find something you are doing to go run and tell your dad, just because she is mean. Your father is probably siding more with her because he is married to her. But he should be taking control of you, not her. I would have a separate discussion alone with your father. Make sure the step mother is not home or there to interrupt. Talk to you dad about how you feel. See what he says. Otherwise, you will have to more than likely put up with it until you move out one day, which will be for a while. I am sorry you are going through this. It is quite unfair.

Answer 3

I think you need to sit both down and tell them you understand you sometimes forget things but please dont yell.  To just remind you and you will do it.  Kids at 15 do forget alot and tell them you are sorry that you are trying to do the right thing.  Tell them you still miss your mom and it is nice having a mother figure in the house but the yelling really upsets you.  Then maybe she will be more easier on you.  I still have both my parents but I have had 2 step kids and I always treated them good.  I just dont understand the verbal abuse people use these days.  

Answer 4

Sometimes a stepparent feels like they are competeing over the attention of the other parent.  It's possible she sees your mom in you and she feels a little jealous.  It's also possible that your dad and stepmom are going through some rough times in their relationship and the smallest thing you do can set off anger in them.  Try sitting down with your stepmom for a "heart to heart" about how you feel and ask her what she expects from you so that she will like you more.  It sounds like the two of you need to bond.  She could be (believe it or not) the one person you can open up with about your mother.  At 15, it would be very helpful for you to do more around the house.  Women sometimes feel overwhelmed with chores (and men and boys make more messes than you think).  Do the chores without being asked or expecting money for them, you are part of the household and should help like everyone else.  Your efforts will not go unnoticed, trust me.  Good luck and sorry to hear about your mom, I'm sure it is very difficult for you.

Answer 5

Well i deffinately wouldnt like it lol.

ummm i guess she has the write since shes married to your dad

She is like part of the familey helping so yea..

But i dont think its right ur fathers siding with her just because of that...

He must have alot of anger

With His Wife Gone :/

Dont worry its not u thats messing up

Your father is porbably mad a=so he takes it out on u

Good Luck And Just Dont Blame Yourself

Answer 6

I could feel the sadness. I don't have a stepmother, but I understand. It is so horrible that it can be like the stepmothers in Cinderalla. I would suggest to talk to your Dad when your mom is not there. Share your thoughts of how you believe your mother is and how it trouble's you. Relate it to stories like Cinderella and be calm about it. A real mother's love is the best you can get. However there are stepmothers who can be like a real mother. One thing I don't suggest is not getting angry. I often lose my temper,but losing your temper just makes it worse.Try working very hard follow all her pains and later start acting like it's really painful. Show the feelings to your dad.  

Answer 7

I am sorry about your mother's passing.  Mine did too but not till I was 21.  It's so very hard, so very painful.  I still miss her so much.  My father remarried too but he knew right away it was a mistake but stayed with her for years, till she died.  And now he's gone since 1996.  We never get over the loss of a parent  Never.  

This woman has raised you longer than your real mother did.  She has a right to talk to you and probably yes, yell if she feels the need.  Remember that Moms, real or step moms are not perfect.  They are going to get mad, yell, cuss sometimes, and do things you don't like, as any parent does.  If she is really driving you crazy, why don't you sit down with your dad away from her and talk about it.  Or, if you have a priest or pastor, go to him or her. If she's not actually hitting you or is deliberately mean to you, then I wouldn't actually be too concerned though.  She's going to have her off days like anyone.  But try talking to your dad and see what he says about it.    Chances are Hon, if your real mom had lived, she'd be doing about the same things.  Moms are all just human.  I wish I could be there to help you talk this out, but I can't.  Good Luck.