What should I do about the Best Man?

Question

My fiance picked his best friend as his best man. The only problem is, as far as I know, he has never been a best man...and may have never even been in a wedding. So recently I have been informed twice that he hasnt contacted any of the other groomsmen or done anything. Wedding is on Oct 4, and we are about 3 hours away from everyone and the wedding venue...so we have to plan for things like showers, bachelor/bachelorette party, etc. So the question is, what, if anything, should I do?

Answer 1

None of the wedding parties I have been in have ever had the best man really do anything.........except planning the bachelor party and give the toast at the wedding.  If you need him to do more, call him and ask about it, be direct, not subtle.  Make sure to keep in touch with all your bridal party, even the other groomsmen.  Let them all know what is up, what needs to be done, and what you need help with. Usually the wedding party is willing to help with what you need.

Answer 2

Give him a list. How else would he know.  Most guys would assume that their job is to hold on to the ring and sign as a witness and then dance with all sorts of people at the reception.

Also, I disagree with one thing on the list. It implies that a bachelor's party is required.  My guy and his brothers say it is the lamest thing and would expect the best man to ASK if the groom wants a bachelor party in the first place. It also should never be the night before the wedding.

Answer 3

First of all, you shouldn't be doing anything.  He is not your best man, he is your fiance's best man.

Second, he really doesn't have to do anything except rent the tux (which your fiance should pick out) and show up the day of the wedding.  All though it is tradition, he isn't required to plan a bachelor party or anything for your fiance.  You and your fiance should not be planning for anything!  All the wedding celebrations are in honor of you, therefore, you have very little say in their planning.  You should not be expecting anyone in your wedding party to do anything for either of you.

Let it go, it isn't your job to tell grown men what to do.  Let your fiance handle this and stay out of it!

Answer 4

Your expectations are such that you're assuming that he should be planning a bachelor party.  Maybe someone (like your fiance) should explain to him what you expect of him so that he doesn't let things fall through the cracks!

Answer 5

uh, what does the best man do besides plan the bachelor party? the answer is nothing. Just call him yourself and tell him to plan a bachelor party because it would mean a lot to your future hubby. Don't tell him things you don't want him to do, because you need to trust your future hubby.

=) Good luck.

Answer 6

im in the same situation, but i have said to all my fiances groomsmen if by the wedding day you havent done a thing you can forget about standing with us on our special day and my dad will be the witness.!

that made them atleast organise a suit, i think

Answer 7

You do nothing. It's up to your fiance to organize the tuxes, if that's what they are wearing. The Best Man doesn't have any other required duties except on the wedding day itself.  

Answer 8

This is an area for your HTB to worry about, not you.  Your fiance's best man has nothing to do with showers and if your man wants a bachelor party, then he should talk to his best friend.  If he won't, then it's no skin off your nose.

Your future hubby should be coordinating with him on his attire and all that.  You have enough on your plate to worry about without wondering whether your man's going to have a bachelor party.  Take your fiance down to pick out the men's attire and let him harass the guys from there on out, but tell him you must have confirmation that all of them have their measurements in by X day or you will go ballistic on him.  This is his deal.  Let him deal with it.

Answer 9

Tell hin to get on the BALL or the weddding is OFF...

It'salmost  time to get fitted and everything for their tux's.

Let him know. Or everything will all come on you at once and you will be stressed.