What should I do about the other woman? ?

Question

My husband had an inappropriate relationship (to say the least) with a woman for about 7 years. During this time, I had gotten pregnant and had our son. Shortly after that I left because I couldnt take it anymore. No matter how many times I had asked her to leave him alone, she wouldn't.

Well, we decided to work things out. I told my husband that there could be no more contact with her what-so-ever....NOTHING. She even called me and apologized and told me she would leave him alone.

Since then, she has emailed him about half a dozen times. He has not responded because he thinks she will get the hint. Well she isn't. What is wrong with this woman? What should I do?

Answer 1

Well seems to me that you both have to put a restraining order on her. She's crazy. If he wants to be with you than he should let her know that he will file a restraining order. That should definitely get her attention. If I were you I would beat her ***. But that's just me.lol

Answer 2

Your husband cheated on you for 7 years.  Just because he tells you he's not responding to her emails doesn't make it true. I was the other woman in a relationship with someone for over 2 years, now he and his wife are trying to work things out so they can stay together for the kids (weak!) but if I call him he always takes my call and always says he still loves me.. I'm sure he tells his wife he hasn't spoken to me since he officially broke up with me months ago.  There is nothing wrong with the other woman, your husband told her he loves her and she's hoping you will divorce the cheater and they will be together.  Why do you want to stay with him?  Are you ever goingt o really be able to trust him?  What's there to work out?  Be a big girl and kick him out!

Answer 3

I see this as your husbands problem, he caused it..so he should deal with it. He needs to get rid of that email address straight away.  You really need to be 100% sure he is not having some sort of contact with her...7 years is a long time for an affair to go on.

Answer 4

this is a woman who doesn't believe he doesn't want her. he needs to tell her right in front of her either by phone or e mail not to contact him again ever.

Answer 5

He is the one that needs to tell her that it is over. Change the e-mail, or block her from sending him anything. If he does not want the contact then he needs to end it, and besides he could put a stop to it if he really wanted to.

Answer 6

From personal experience I'd say that, while she's getting the message from you that you two want to work it out, hubby probably isn't into cutting her out of the picture just yet. She told you that she would leave him alone, but I get the feeling that he isn't leaving her alone. If he had a seven year relationship with this woman, while married to you, he IS capable of lying to you. So what makes you so sure that he's not still doing so?

I think its fully possible that HE is giving her some sort of signal that HE is still interested. Just because he doesn't respond to her e-mails at home, doesn't mean he isn't still in touch with her. Believe me, I've seen that for myself. While hubby was telling me he wanted to repair the marriage, HE wasn't ready to let go of his "options" just yet. And you can't really move forward until he does.

If she's been polite to you in the past, it might be worth while asking her, if he has been "in touch" at all. Ask her for times, etc and see if they match up with times when he was absent from you.

If he wanted to cut off contact he would change his e-mail address, his phone number his mobile number and any other method she may have for reaching him. If he CHOOSES not too, you have to ask yourself WHY?

Answer 7

Have him change his email address and maybe move to another state.

Answer 8

Answer one of her emails and tell her straight out that you will mess her up if she doesn't back off.

Answer 9

She will finally stop since he's not contacting her, but in reality has he stopped talking to her?  Read those emails and use your common sense.  If they were together for 7 years, I seriously doubt he has actually stopped talking to her without telling her something about what's happened.  He probably asked her to call you and say all that, and she agreed.  You'd be surprised.  You could call her back and tell her to stop emailing him but who knows if it will help or not.  How could you stay with someone after they cheated on your for 7 years?        

Answer 10

what i would do is leave him!Let him have her!7 years is a long time to cheat!  Are u sure that he is not sleeping with her yet?They could be both playing u and saying they are not chatting and they actually are! If they had a 7 year relationship I'm sure they are continuing it sense u allowed it to go on for 7 years!

Answer 11

put restraining order on the b#@*#

Answer 12

I agree with BarboutThere and Dark Dreamer. He lied to you for 7 years, why would he stop now?

One thing I wouldn't do though is contact her and ask her questions. She loves him, and what they had was/is a LOT more than just a fling. He had/has almost another marriage going on here. Her loyalty is to him and the last thing she's going to do is give you any information on him or their relationship.

What is this business about her "leaving him alone"? Your husband isn't an innocent bystander in this, an unsuspecting man being manipulated and seduced by another woman. He is just as much to blame as she is, if not more, because it was him who made a vow to you to stay faithful. However bad it is that she's involved with a married man, she didn't promise you anything and she owes you nothing.

This goes a lot deeper than you think. Do you really want to live the rest of your life this way? How do you know they don't have a child together? He obviously doesn't care how you feel.  If he really didn't want to have anything to do with her, he'd make it known to her, but he hasn't done that. There are lots of ways to communicate besides email...he's probably still talking to her all the time, and you are being made a fool of.  

Answer 13

First, you need a reality check. There is nothing for you to do. It is all about what your hubby will do to make this woman go away. He invited her into your lives and it is his responsibility to make her go away. He should ignore her and you too---to make it work between you two. You cannot mend your relationship with trust...till you start trusting that he will do this. I like his idea of ignoring her. He is keeping your request in mind....NO CONTACT "what-so-ever....NOTHING". NOW YOU BE A GOOD WIFE AND LET HIM HANDLE THIS HIS WAY...ALONE.  

Answer 14

You both need to reply to each one with something like: We don't want you to contact us anymore. From "Husband" & "Wife."  Do it each time.  She'll get frustrated if she knows she can't get through to your husband without you knowing.  Keep insisting that your husband tell you about EVERY single attempted contact she makes and do the above.  Good luck.