What should I do about this Jehovah's Witnesses? Thank you!?

Question

This is going to be my first holiday season being a witness so I am confused about a few things and what I should do.

At work we have a staff meeting that is mandatory for me to attend in December and there is a holiday party during it. There is gift giving and food and all that stuff. My boss wants to know what I should do about that. And honestly, I do not know. Am I able to attend and just not be involved in that? And that would be awkward for me.

Also, am I able to accept gifts during the holiday season? Because my family says they are still getting me things for the holidays no matter what I say about it. They said they are also buying my daughter things too and they don't care what I say about that.

Thanks for your answers!

Answer 1

Ask the "Elders" or "brothers" or whatever you guys are calling them these days.  If you don't do the right thing, they get really mad at you and give you a very hard time, so ASK THEM if you want to continue in that cult, group, or whatever it is since the last meeting of your bosses in New York City.

EDIT: To the very uneducated and braindead persons who gave the Thumbs Down.... I am correct... YOU are apparently WRONG!  The poor misguided person who asked the question should ask her cult leaders, not the Yahoo answer crowd unless she wants to get into trouble from her "religion".  I know, I have a son who joined the cult and have had DECADES of contact with that group even before that dark day in my life.

Answer 2

You should not be present at any Holiday party, and you should give all your presents to the poor if you don't want to be a total hypocrite.

Answer 3

When I was in school, my best friend from 7th grade until graduation was the child of Jehovah's witnesses.  At school, she would have to leave during christmas celebrations and go sit in a room with her little brother.  The teachers would try to entertain them in some other way.  It made her miserable during the holidays.  While all her friends were having cookies and cake and lots of other yummy stuff and exchanging gifts, she and her brother were left out.  I used to sneak her gifts (which I know now was a bad idea) for her birthday and christmas.  Her mother found the card I gave her and went nuts on her.  She told the elders at the church and they had this long discussion with her and made her feel like a piece of c**p for accepting gifts from friends.  She was told by her church she couldn't be friends with me any longer.  We had to sneak around to talk to each other at school because there was a teacher there who went to her church and she would spy on her all day.  As soon as she was old enough, she moved out of the house and quit the church.  Her immediate family stopped speaking to her.  That is the type of people you have joined with.  Get out NOW!

Answer 4

Well, that puts paid to the Witness notion that people only give gifts in order to receive one back.

Answer 5

It would be more effective for you to discuss this with a Witness in person, preferably an elder in your local congregation or the person you studied with; not here where most of the answerers aren't Witnesses and will give you non-effective answers.

Answer 6

I think Xyleisha is on the right track for this question.

Since your boss is already aware of the situation I would try discussing this further with him. Maybe he can make it understood previous to the meeting that the meeting and party will NOT take place simultaneously but the party will occur AFTER the meeting and anyone who wishes not to attend the party may leave after the meeting.  He could do this at the staff meeting preceding the holiday/staff meeting. It would certainly be a reasonable way to handle the situation. IF he is not willing to do this you could mention that it is illegal for an employer to interfere with an employees religious freedoms or to show any kind of discrimination on the basis of religion and explain to him that for him to expect you to attend a staff meeting that is also a holiday party violates your religious beliefs and he has to find a way to accommodate you not the other way around. [I don't understand why only the staff seem to be invited to a holiday party. What about the other employees?]

As for the gift giving: When I was young and we stopped celebrating the holidays my parents let all our relatives know that we would not be exchanging gifts for the holidays. As I remember, no one gave us gifts except for one of my uncles and he wouldn't have it any other way. We were forewarned that our uncle intended to give us gifts. We took the stance that as long as they knew that we did not observe the holiday or it's customs and that any gifts given to us would not be accepted as holiday gifts, it was their free choice as to what they wanted to do and we would not forbid it. My uncle continued to give gifts to me and my 4 siblings every year until he died or until we were no longer children.

Consider the following from the Question From Readers section of the November 1st 1979 Watchtower:

Even if the giver of a gift has a religious belief as a reason for its timing, that does not mean that the recipient is thought to share the religious view. Often a fellow worker or relative will tell one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, ‘I know that you do not celebrate Christmas (or, some other holiday), but I still want you to have this as a gift from me.’ If the Christian’s conscience would be at rest in accepting the gift, he might choose to take it and express thanks without any reference to the holiday. (Acts 23:1) A similar course has been followed by many a Christian when offered a gift by someone who does not know of his belief. Perhaps at another time, when there will be less likelihood of causing offense, the Christian can tactfully mention that he does not celebrate that religious holiday and can kindly, mildly explain that this is why he himself did not give any holiday gift.—1 Pet. 3:15.

But if a gift is given with the clear intent of showing that the Christian is not firm in his beliefs or will compromise for gain, then definitely it is best to decline. It is Jehovah God that Christians must worship. To him alone we render sacred service.—Matt. 4:8-10.

Answer 7

I will set your mind at ease.  Do not worry about such things.  Celebrating a winter festival is not a sin.  Whether it be winter celebration (thank God for the snow and all insects becoming dormant).  Or for Jesus Christ (without Jesus being born, we have no salvation).  Last but not least Santa Claus (another way of expressing to a child the gift and pleasure of giving and receiving).  Your family will give your children gifts no matter what.  That's good.  Your children will learn the important lesson of giving with love and unselfishness.  Praise the Lord for parents like that.  Oh Santa was a real story you know.  Saint Nicholas.  He wanted to put happiness in children's life and so gave gifts freely to children.  He was a wealthy man that was blessed by God.  How can Jehovah's Witnesses not like Nicholas a generous man?

Answer 8

Yes, you can accept gifts and enjoy the Christmas party at work if you get de-programmed before December.  Good luck getting out.

Answer 9

Get out. Get out now. You will be disfellowshipped or whatever it's called if you go, which is their form of excommunication, only unlike with the Catholic excommunication, there is no making it all good and getting back into good faith with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

You should never have joined. I never could understand why Jehovah's Witnesses call themselves Christian and don't celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior or His rising from the dead.  

Answer 10

Wow, you don't like thinking for yourself, do you?

.

Answer 11

Hi there.

The friends have given great advice.

My personal advice to you is to take the path of least resistance- here I mean be reasonable, without breaking God's laws.

The meeting is mandatory- attend. It's good that your boss already knows you might have some issues there. So it should be easy for you to attend the "meeting" part and then avoid joining in in the gift-giving.

If they insist on giving you the gifts, take them. If they understand they won't be getting anything from you, they'll stop soon. (No more gifts for Vot from anyone after 6 years of one-sided holiday gift-giving)

Sometimes it just takes time for people to realise you are serious about your stand. The person who could technically be called my best friend coz she's the person who knows me the best here in Russia only last year stopped sending me Happy Birthday text messages. She said she felt guilty if she didn't wish me, and birthdays are suh a big thing for her, so I let her send them if it made her feel better.

After 3 years of no replies and no "Happy Birthday" texts, she realises she won't die if she doesn't do that.

Hang on in there, keep on making Jehovah proud. :-D

Answer 12

Wow, I may not like your particular choices in life for myself, but nobody has the right to tell you what is right for you and yours... please inform your family members, coworkers and friends that you would prefer they respect your religious beliefs and not purchase gifts for you or for your daughter,,, if they send them anyway, return them with a thnk you card and politely explain that you do not believe in gift giving for the holidays...

Answer 13

Listen to Grandma here.  She speaks words of wisdom.

No doubt other Witnesses where you are have satisfactorily dealt with this issue, consult them.

I think that the buying of things after you have said you don't want them will cease when you don't reciprocate.

Sometimes, people just want to know that you are serious.

DON'T listen to the idiots here who do not respect your beliefs, and who wildly and wrongly warn of your being disfellowshipped for one thing or another.

Those people have real problems, and their "advice" isn't worth the time they took to write it.

Answer 14

You made this choice and I hope you are happy with it.  It does not sound like you are happy, joyous and free.

Ask another witness what they do.

Answer 15

Congratulations on your choice.

There's a saying: You made your bed. You sleep in it.

I don't think you are going to get a lot of sympathy in a public, non-denominational group. Best to ask these questions in your Kingdom Hall.

Answer 16

Certainly Jehovah is taking note that you want to make the truth your own and that you want to do right by him. One thing about being a christian is seeking God's face through prayer and when I say seek his face I mean find out what he feels about the matter. When ever you are faced with a decision always,always turn to Jehovah first. Ask him to send you something to read or someone who can help you to make the right choice. For me I've been a witness since 2004. Not a long time but I was going to christian meetings from age 11. My thinking was trained at a young age and still in my adult life I find it hard to make the right decision. Especially when there is no direct command to say whether or not I would be breaking God's Laws. But the principle that I always remember is found in where it says, “The things which the nations sacrifice they sacrifice to demYou haved not to God; and I do not want you to become sharers with the demons. You cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons; you cannot be partaking of ‘the table of Jehovah’ [this act signifying peace with God as partakers of the Lord’s Evening Meal] and the table of demons. Or ‘are we inciting Jehovah to jealousy’? We are not stronger than he is, are we?”—1 Cor. 10:18-22.

Now the meeting is mandatory. Going to the party is not. Youhave constitutional rights that says you have freedom of speech choice and so forth. They can't force you to participate in a holiday celebration. If they want to fire you for that because many arre just that stink, then its your choice if you want to sue them. But always remember to go to jehovah for help and he will show you the way. Further you have to show Jehovah that you trust in him.And I'm not telling you not to go to the elders, because they are indeed caring for Jehovah's sheep. Yet you have to make the truth your own too. Have your conscience trained. I think it was last week Sunday we had a watchtower study that alluded to that point. Go check it out or see if you can find some other article. Do you have the watchtower Library on CD-ROM? That's a great tool to have. Do doubt you know that as witnesses we must stand out as different. There will be persecution and hatred. Prepare yourself for whatever. Satan knows what we have and he wants to take it away from us. You know...satan reminds me of a bully who was put out of class. And hes making faces and taunting the children on the inside trying to get us put out with him too. Thsi is indeed a test from satan. Read Proverbs 27:11 and let me know what you think.

All the best my friend.

Answer 17

Congratulations!

If the party is after the meeting, ask your boss if it would be alright to leave.  That would save the awkwardness.

Make your stance known to your co-workers now, and hopefully they wont give you anything when the time comes.  If someone forgets or disregards your stance, accept the gift with thanks or refuse it outright (I know JW's who do both).  When people aren't given anything in return, they usually stop giving pretty quickly.

As for your relatives lol *sigh* (((hugs)))  My mom was exactly the same way.

Ask them if they could hold onto the gifts and send them a couple at a time throughout the year (if they're big spenders like mine).  A child LOVES being surprised at different times for no reason at all.

Answer 18

Yes, if it is mandatory then attend. And just let everyone know that you're not celebrating the holidays anymore. Make sure they understand that if they give you gifts you'll not be returning the favor, and maybe they would like to save the money and get someone else the gift that would appreciate it more. You can eat, everyone has to eat lunch. But, as far as the celebration goes, no. Just stay neutral. I know it's hard at first. But, as time goes by, it becomes second nature. You truly don't miss it at all. The parents, LOL. I can remember my sister and mom fussing because she (my mom) took christmas away from me and my baby sister. See, we were dirt poor and the only time we got anything is during the Xmas time. Goodwill, and my sister would buy things for us. To bad they didn't think of us the rest of the year when we were starving for just a piece of bread. But, now the same sister has been baptized for many, many years, as is both her children and her husband came around as well. He hated it at first. And it did take him some few years, but he did it. I hope this helps a little. Stay strong and you'd be surprised at the people who will respect and might even join you in the long run. I send you much love, and a prayer. Remember what the Watchtower said today. Keep looking in that mirror.  

Answer 19

First of All, I admire you for wanting to take a proper stand. It is hard when you are new in the TRUTH and are facing one of the biggest trials that a new one could have....holidays. Last year was my first year to not celebrate holidays. One thing that the elders in my congregation suggested was that I do some reasearch through the Watchertower Library on CD-Rom. There I found many experiences of others who were able to take a stand for Jehovah. I also talked to others in my congregation who were not raised as Witnesses and who had came into the TRUTH as adults (once celebrating holidays and in the world). OIne thing that I suggest is that you talk to your boss about just going to the meeting for the company business part, then leaving before the party starts, or maybe he could just give you an overview of what was talked about and you could miss the entire ackward situation. As for accepting gifts, the ideal is what is the motive behind the person giving the gifts.....is it to go against your beliefs, is it to make you look like a liar, or is it that the person giving it just wanted to give you something nice (which is usually the case with workmates, in this situation it would be up to your concious and you could politely explain to them that you would not be giving them a gift in return and explain why but that you may suprise them one day out of the blue with a little something special......this gives the gift giver some respect!) Your family is a harder one, because they are doing it because they donot respect your choice. It would be best to have a nice talk with them once again as to why you donot want to recieve gifts. If they continue to insist tell them that they CAN NOT give them to them 3 days before or 3 days after the holiday and that it can't be wrapped or must be wrapped in unthemed paper. It will be easier to deny the gifts given to you than it will be to deny a gift offered to your child. In my case, my family was very supportive of the 3 day wait. They gave my kids 1 toy and 1 dress each wrapped in plain colored paper....... it was a compromise on there part but in the end, we were both happy.

In the end the choice is up to you and what you Bible based-concious will tell you. So read up on the topic in the Bible Teach Book, the Watchtower Library, the Bible and then pray to Jehovah to help you gain the strength to do what you know is right!

Agape,

Kerrie