What should I do about this long-distance relationship situation??

Question

I started talking to and dating someone exclusively a few months ago (early May) yet we still have not met. This person is going through several health issues and neither of us have made the trip (Houston/Dallas) as of yet. The issue lies here: recently, I stumbled across their myspace and suspicious comments. My profile has always been set to private and now theirs is too. I have also revealed some personal romantic details about my past relationships to this person and because of my past mistakes, they have taken some things personally. I stumbled across a girl who goes on their profile from time to time and there are romantic comments on their profile about how much they miss them, and if I didn't know any better I would think the 2 are dating. Why oh why is this person still talking to me and when I approached them about this, they told me it was just a friend (many lesbians talk to each other in flirty ways I guess) but I don't know what to believe. We've been communicating through phone and text as well as email but we have yet to add each other on myspace. They got a bit offended when I mentioned that other girl and blamed my trust issues on them but wants to "work on things with us to get it back to the way it was" How do I know first of all if these 2 are dating, and how to find out? Second of all, how do I catch them in something if they are in fact lying and found someone else, when? and why are they still talking to me when I'm not even in their city? Lastly, should I tell them I accidentally kissed someone a few months back? OOPS! Shhh

A little bit of a long story but please help!! Thanks!!

Yea...I'm a girl too. Y would she still be talking to me if she has someone is my question. Unless she's just doing all this to p**s me off or punish me for the way I treated her at first when we first got together and started dating. We talk every day hours on end. Yes, I've kissed a person or 2 in the past month or so but I still haven't told her. We talk on the phone and have been texting for months. If she doesn't have feelings for me or no longer has an intention to meet up with me (which she's begged to come meet me several times in the last few months) then why is she still talking to me? I've talked to her on the phone, we've shared pictures we've both taken while out with friends, and have each other's addresses. I wanna know what I should do to get some answers! 4 months is a long time to be talking to someone. True, I might have been unfaithful but if I need to tell her that, I will only let her know that if it comes down to it.

Any ideas??

Help!!

Answer 1

Too many games on both sides.  Neither of you are ready for this.

Answer 2

The fact that you are in a long-distance relationship drew me to your question, as I too, am currently involved in one. However, from reading what you wrote, I really do question how serious of a "relationship" the two of you are actually in.

Firstly, the two of you "dating" for four months and still not even being MySpace friends? Please. You've got to be kidding me. Why on earth would you and this girl be dating when you aren't even friends on MySpace? Did it not occur to you that the person you are involved with may be hiding something? You say you have reason to suspect that she isn't being faithful to you. You need to start listening to your gut instinct.

And the fact that you, yourself have "slipped" a few times is proof enough that you are not taking whatever you two have seriously. Four months is nothing. You barely even know this person. To me this seems like a joke. As someone else stated, "too many games".

However, I do have to disagree with Aura Cee when he stated that LDR's don't work. You made very valid points regarding the situation - ones that I agree with. But I do believe that two dedicated, faithful, serious individuals with a common drive for a similar outcome (their future), can make a LDR succeed for the short-term that it is meant to be.

Answer 3

Christie - cut & dry: LDRs do not work. Speaking, chatting, texting, emailing someone should simply be as that.

Consider the fact that she appears to no longer want to have anything of a "serious" relationship with you as your Guardian Angel giving you a a free pass to move on without any higher levels of disappointments and/or let-downs.

This thing about being unfaithful: my gosh, where did this come from?!?! This is nothing more than an electronic romance..and btw: 4 months is not a long time. I have been in my SGL relationship for 7 YEARS, and to many: THAT is not a long time, though commendable considering the social climate that we are currently in.

Oh, another btw: some may say that I, being a male, do not know anything about SGL female situations. Well, superficially, this may seem logical, but they do not know me, so don't get into that "you're a g*y guy (which, i am not g*y - I like non-practicing Bisexual): what do you know about women or lesbians?"

There are certain things in life one does not have to be in able to know, understand, and speak on..