What should I do about this online romance?

Question

To make a long story short, I fell for this guy who lives on the opposite end of the world from me. He likes me too. We talk on msn for hours every day, but we've never met in person.

We'd really love to meet up, but it probably won't happen until a couple of years (because of financial reasons). If it does happen, at all. I don't want him to wait for me until that time. Besides, once we do meet, we might find that we don't "click" in person. So I told him I won't be upset if he were to find a girlfriend (we're both single at the moment). He's worried about doing that because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, and he really likes me.

I know I'm doing the right thing by "encouraging" him to find another girl, but on the other hand, it's breaking my heart. He's a pretty lonely guy too, and right now I'm his best friend.

Does anybody have any insight to this? Have you experienced something similar? I'm feeling a little sad now. I'm thinking of ending our friendship altogether, so that we could both forget about each other and move on with our lives.

Answer 1

A year ago I started talking with a girl via the internet from England (I live in Spain ) .After 9 months we arranged to meet , so I flew  to her home town and spent the weekend with her .We just clicked and we were both really upset when I flew home again , so 3 weeks ago   after being apart for another 3 months (we couldnt stand it any longer) , she left her job , friends and family and came to Spain to live with me .We know its early days but we just couldnt be happier.

Hope this helps ,sometimes you just have to go with your heart , and remember were theres a will theres a way .

Answer 2

you shouldd talk on the phone.

he will totally fall forr you.

andd then he wont veen want another girl

Answer 3

I have met a lot of people from online, not as prospective boyfriends, but as friends. Eventhough I talked to them for years before meeting them, most of them weren't what they seemed to be online.

You can spend years investing time and emotions into this relationship, then when you finally do meet, things may not click. All of that time spent chasing a dream can't be gotten back afterwards.

I really feel it's an exercise in futility to try to make online relationships work, especially when the distance is too great to actually ever meet.

Answer 4

That's probably the best thing to do. People are NEVER the same in person as they are online. They usually don't look the same as their photos, unless you have like 20 to look at and they're all recent. It would cost a ton of money for you to even meet each other and that would be wasted if you find out you actually don't like one another in person.

Let's say you would click though, would you be willing to move that far away to a different culture and be away from everything you've ever known? It's probably best just to cut down on the length of chatting and try to let him go so you both don't feel bad about finding someone where you live.

Answer 5

If you love him and he loves you, things will work and you will meet. The thing about whether you click or not is just like having any "real" date. You'll find out what they're like in a social setting or more appropriately, any setting in real life. And from that you'll be able to get an idea of where your relationship will head after a few more dates.

I'm not exactly in your position, but I am in one similar. My girlfriend lives in Indiana and I live in California. We're sticking it out. She's younger than me and we'll both be going to college at the same time. We're heading to different schools (for the first two years), but by that time, we should be somewhat financially adequate to meet. I mean, it's annoying that it all comes down to money to see someone you love. I wish transportation was free.

We're both pretty poor. She's working right now and I haven't ever had a job - I've been trying so many interviews, but I'm just not getting hired. I need the money. Not only for college, but I want to see her too. She wants to come down and visit me though. If she were to do that, she'd want to stay with me. I don't see how that's going to work if I don't at least have a job.

It'll pull through. Remain friends. It kinda sounds like you don't want him anymore, though...