What should I do - abuse?

Question

My parents have been divorced for ten years and seven years ago my mother remarried. She and my stepdad are sometimes verbally and physically abusive of me and my brother (who has mild autism and doesn't understand what they're doing is wrong).

On the last day of school, I wrote a story about a girl who was mistreated by her mother which was kind of autobiographical and I gave it to a teacher and I hoped the teacher or the principal would ask me if something was wrong. I felt guilty, I guess, and I didn't want to just tell, because it was hard for me, and I know it's stupid, but I wanted someone to ask. So on the last day of school, the principal asked, but my stepdad was in the office and I got scared and said nothing was wrong. I know that no one can help me if I didn't tell them I needed it, but I WAS SCARED. Later, I wrote the principal a letter so she would understand the situation, but I know I should have told when I had the chance.

When I got home to my mom's house, she freaked out about the story, because apparently the principal (whom I'd actually trusted) had told my mom about it despite me telling her specifically not to do so, and my mom told me to get out and go stay with my dad and never come back and I said I would and I did.

My dad said I could stay with him as long as I needed to, but then my mom said I could stay with my dad but she would keep my brother then. She got Social Services involved and tried to prove I was dangerous to my brother, but they told her to give my brother back to my dad part-time, but when I tried to tell them about the way my mom abused us, they didn't believe me. And now my mom's going to my teachers, especially a teacher whom I had a couple years ago who I have a really special relationship with and saying untrue and terrible things about me, like I threatened their lives and I'm afraid they believe it. My mom can put on the act really well, and if they've believed it for six years, why should they believe me over my mom now? She's gone to the school and gotten me in trouble before for things I didn't do and the school believed her!

My dad is trying to fight for legal custody of me, but it's not likely he'll win. I CAN'T go back to my mom's because I don't feel safe - she'll hurt me! And my brother's going back and forth like usual and I'm scared she may hurt him, or might have already done so. And my mom's threatening to go to my summer camp and make a scene unless I come with her or she'll do bad things, etc. I'M SCARED of her and my stepdad. Will the court actually force me to go back somewhere where I feel unsafe? Am I doing the right thing by trying to stay with my dad forever? I feel so guilty that I'm not going to be with my brother when he needs me most and at least try to protect him from my mom! And I even miss her a bit, because she sometimes CAN be nice even though she's usually not. What should I do?

Answer 1

wow i am 19 years old and i have kind of went through the same thing. only my dad never got remarried. he never abused my sister just me. i let it go on and he called social services on me and told my friends and neighbors a bunch of horrible stuff about me. i felt totally helpless because they didnt believe me. finally i got so fed up i went to my social worker that worked right in my school and told her look im tired of being criticized for doing nothing wrong. she filed paperwork and called the police. the police came to my mothers house and got a few phone recordings of my father and i talking about what he did to me. the first time we recorded him he lyed through his teeth making me out to look really bad. the second time he cooperated and sort of confessed to everything. you need to go to the police and talk to them. they wil somehow get proof and if they feel like it is not safe to send you home they will NOT send you home. if you need to talk to me about it more please email me or IM me [e-mail] cause there is actually alot more i would like to talk to you about but i dont think you want to read a whole novel on this answer thing and i think it will be easier for both of us to understand if we actually talked. dont worry you can trust me. =] please IM me!  

Answer 2

Try your best to state your case to the social worker working with you. Tell her what has been going on (in detail, is the only way) and that you are too afraid to go home. Also, if you have any physical proof that she is doing this to you it would definitely help. Right now, it's your word against hers and your step-father's. Please try your best to get out of there... your father's place sounds like the best place to be right now. There should be no reason why a child should be this afraid of her own mother. Some people just don't deserve to be parents.

I hope everything gets so much better for you. IF you have to get the police involved, do it! Social Services can only go so far and most of the time, the case worker is so overwhelmed with other cases it's hard for her to actually see what you are going through. Do anything you can to get out. Take care of yourself... you're doing the right thing.

Answer 3

Go live with you dad or call the police next time she or he hits you.

Answer 4

This is a terrible situation

The only thing i can say is you need to fight for yourself and your brother!

Go to your principle alone and tell her that you want to tell her 100% the truth and then tell her calmly all the things that have happened and tell her that your mother is lying to people now and trying to make you sound bad....your brother is autistic as you said, he needs you to be brave and speak up for him!

Remember to tell the teacher that your mother is good at pretending but you have not lied at all and just need somebody to believe you!

I hope the situation gets better! You deserve a really happy childhood!

Answer 5

if you are over the age of 13 the judge will generally grant custody to which parent you choose. just tell the judge and lawyer exactly what you went through and what your brother went through when they ask. if you have kept a journal or diary at the time of abuse bring that, it can be used as evidence. good luck.  

Answer 6

oh my goodness. you should get some help.

Answer 7

well if your dad goes back to court to get legal custody you and your brother can testify against your mom and tell the judge, he'll believe you if you and your brother tell them whats going on.. good luck!

Answer 8

This is what I would do- call the cops! Do it secretly though...

Answer 9

Omg.....U better not be lying cuz im worried for you.! Well if u said ur age it wouldve helped alot but.........You need connections ! If u have a phone and can use it [if u dont get one from a friend] . Call suicide hotline. Explane your story.I know Im stupid for saying call a hotline but they may help and who knows if u keep this up you may become suicidal lol......and then theirs always 911! im sure they can help and dont be afraid to tell them. when ur afraid think of what your parents did to you and them think if you dont tell someone its just gonna repeat.Yell at ur ****ing mom! Who does she think she is.and yell at her hard.Just trust me.If it doesnt get thru her head then make the calls.I see you have the internet so search up some other hotlines and get the numbers of ur teachers.Tell them and dont tell signals. thats not good enough unless you wanna die.Then theirs online put signals everywhere. and explain ur story. like you just did! now that was good lol.....and watch out for ur bro...u wouldnt like it if he died.......so the most important thing is to realy stay close and connected with you bro.Does you dad know abt the abuse?......Well call child services.Search child services telephone number and something should pop up on google.com or yahoo.com ......... i really hope this help and i feel really bad for you.if u need anymore advice just let me know!