What should I do if I suspect my S-I-L has Munchausen's By Proxy??

Question

I don't think she's hurting the kids physically, but I really suspect that she is neglecting them in a big way, and feigning or exaggerating illnesses to get sympathy. What should I do? Short of confronting her and starting WW3 in my family, I don't know what to do. Help!

Answer 1

firstly i would take your concerns to a professional outside of the family and see what they think.it would be helpfull to get an outsiders opinion on what you think is going on.i think your first port of call should be a gp perhaps or a health visitor.they will then be able to advise you properly on what to do or who to turn to etc.this is really not something you should brush under the carpet or try to handle by yourself,you obviously are seriously concerned over your s-i-l 's mental health and the kids well being so i think the only way you will be able to feel happy about this in that you haven't ignored a potentially serious and dangerous situation is by seeking the help of a professional who is qualified to deal with this kind of thing.

Answer 2

talk to child services you can contact these people anonymously and explain the situation letthem inervene nobody will ever know it was you. it needs to be dealt with before it spirals out of control.

Answer 3

You need to contact your local Child Protective Services and have her investigated.  If she does have Munchhausen's by Proxy, she could eventually hurt or even kill the child or children.  We had a local case in our community where the woman focused in on one of her 4 children and the child finally died from drowning by the mother.  Don't wait.  You can contact Protective Services anonymously.  

Answer 4

I would talk to her husband & let him know what you suspect. The childrens father deserves to know if something is going on that may harm his child. If that doesn't work you might try calling Child Protective Servuces, they can do a check & leave your information anonymous.

Answer 5

I agree that your husband should be the one to confront her since he is a blood relative. I would not call the authorities until you have exhausted all other possibilities. Is the children's father in the picture? I only ask because, if he is and maybe suspects or can be questioned about the children being sick, he may want to try a "nanny-cam" to see if she is doing anything to make them that way. If he is not, maybe you can get someone else to do it. Sometimes with MBP they don't even realize the repercussions of what they are doing. No matter what you do, be secure in the fact that you only have the children's best interest at heart. Good luck with whatever decision you make and God bless.

Answer 6

contact her health visitor or the police who will contact social services. make it clear that your name is not to be used in investigations. Then leave it to them. Good luck.

Answer 7

That's scary.  I suspect the same of my aunt with my grandmother, and I'm not sure what to do there.  Perhaps you can describe what's been going on to your own doctor, and ask him what he thinks.  If she's really sick, there's nothing you can do unless she is causing herself or the kids ham.  If she's really neglecting the kids - not feeding or caring for them properly, or neglecting their hygiene, then you should call child protective services, as much as it hurts.  Your call will be anonymous to her.  Other than that, I would let it be.

Answer 8

can you talk to your hubby about this? if so he might be able to say something to someone since he is "in the family" (you know what i mean BY BLOOD) and not get shunned for life ... other wise if you are really thinking she might be putting the kids in danger even mentally you could make a tip to a hot line for DHS the caller can just give the name a address and not leave a name they will do a house check and if things are okay nothing else will be done. Good Luck and Pray about it.