What should I do...my BLOOD is boiling right now?

Question

So, there is this girl that thinks we are friends, but I cant stand her anymore. I have known her a little less than a year, and its caused me so much stress, and drama that I just want to erase her completely from my life. I know that sounds really horrible....sorry! Anyway, Im a military wife, and so is she, and our husbands work together. She is 18 with two kids, and wants another one soon. She hasnt graduated high school yet, but talks about it all the time. She will call me up and talk hours at a time about her life, and all the fights she has with her husband. Her husand is an alcoholic(he drinks to just get drunk, and pressures everyone else to do it too), he is narrow minded, negative all the time, a know it all, and I just really do not like him at all.

Well, their house is infested with roaches and so is their car. About a week ago he traded in his truck for a dirt bike. He does not have insurance, or permission on his drivers liscence to drive it yet on the roads or on the base. So, they keep asking us to car pool. The thing is he is so disrespectful of our stuff(he got drunk on new years eve and put dents in our new car, and got blood all over my house and garage), and everythime we hang out with them a lot we get into fights. ALSO, my husband is in honor guard so his schedule is different from this other guys. He gets off early and goes in later sometimes. So, we dont want to car pool. I have said NO three times now, and so has my husband. I talked to her today and she was complaining how she is starting GED classes, and she does not want to wake up early to take her husband to work.

What should we do? They called 10 times in 30 minutes on all of our cell phones from three different numbers!

Answer 1

These people are total jerks.  I would help them in any way you can to get back on track, but as far as carpooling, borrowing, and talking on the phone?  Say no every time and ignore their calls.  Maybe they'll get some sense that waaaay.

Answer 2

sorry i lost you after the first few sentences--what did you say?

Answer 3

It sounds like you are in a tough spot especially because they are unlikely to react in a reasonable way to anything you say or do.

You definitely have to remove them from your life.  The bottom line is that you are not obligated to have a relationship with anyone you don't want to.  These people are violators of boundaries and no matter what they will try to take more from you than you want to give.  The only way to deal with them is to tell them that you don't wish to interact with them anymore, and then don't.  I know that is a lot harder than it sounds.  First, you do not owe them anything including an explanation, so just tell them you don't want to talk anymore and that you won't be getting into the whys and then do not answer or return their phone calls.  Chances are they will leave you nasty messages and say mean things on My Space, but since you don't care what they think anyway, just ignore it.  They are like children who will eventually get bored and leave you alone as long as you don't react.

If you don't want to tell them that you are not going to hang out with them, that is fine (I wouldn't want the confrontation)  just stop returning their calls and emails.  If you see them only talk to them is they initiate it.  Be polite and kind, but don't ask any opening questions or share any of your life with them.  It should fade on its own.

I don't know if you have kids, but you definitely don't want people like this around you and your kids.

Remember, anyone who  refuses to accept your answer of NO is trying to control you.  Do you want to be controlled, especially by these people?  It is none of their business why you don't want to carpool, or talk to them on the phone.  Just stop responding to them.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

change your numbers, and just avoid them, if u ask me, its sounds like the wife, is prolly soo confused and scared of her husband and is afraid, and tryin to get attention

Answer 5

Wow...she's lazy.  Tell her too bad if she doesn't want to wake up early to take her husband to work.  It's her life, and your money, with gas prices going through the roof.  Tell her she can go to bed earlier then she can wake up earlier and set an alarm clock.  And these people obviously aren't friends - why hang out with them at all?

Answer 6

you and your husband need tell them how you really feel you don't like them anyways so cares what they think or if they stop talking to you.  stop being fake and stand up for yourselves this isn't the get a long gang this is real life it's harsh but true

Answer 7

take a cold shower

Answer 8

It is totally up to you..if you allow them to "use and abuse " you they will...Best you just cut them off completely, it may take em awhile to figure it out but, they will.....(BTW NO means no..stick to it!)