What should I do? please help me and NOT scold me?

Question

My male coworker and I started having a little office affair 7 months ago. We were just having fun time to make days go by fast. Now I am afraid I am too attached to him. We never had S in real, only s**y emails. I have been wanting to cut this off since we are both married but both no kids. Everytime I try to be distant to him he would chase me like crazy that it would make him miserable like we have a serious relationship. I know that I need to find another job just to keep away from him because I always think of him and I have no right to feel that way bec. we are both married. The problem is I cannot find a job somewhere else, though I have been having so many job interviews. I can't wait for another month to continue what we have been doing. I REALLY want this cut off before it is too late. I know we shouldn't have started all of these but sometimes temptations get in our way. Please don't scold me, what I need here is your opinion of what steps I should do.

I have friends at work but they don't know so I cannot ask their opinion nor I cannot ask my husband. The only option is to ask anonimously which is here... PLEASE HELP!!!

Answer 1

if you love your husband then tell this guy you dont want to do this anymore because you feel guilty.  or just talk to him less and less until you dont talk much at all anymore

Answer 2

I won't scold you, it was probably not the best idea in the first place, but the past is the past. The only thing that i can say to you is that you need to cut it off. Simply stop the emails. Do not have any conversations with him that are not work-related. If he comes after you, just tell him "I can't continue this. I am married, and happy, and you and i just simply can't do it. It won't work." Let him down easy and try not to p**s him off. That is the only thing that you can do. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

tell him the fun is over.if it is. if not tell ur hubby your trading him in. not hard 2 figure out, u already no what ur gunna do.

Answer 4

just end it. explain to him wut u just said...

n be prepared that he might try to change ur mind but u need to stick with ur decision no matter what.

just be matur and do the rite thing...end it n never let it happen again...how wud u feel if ur husband did this to you?  

Answer 5

I think you only have one choice..........find another job (any job, even if it's one through a temp agency until you can find a full time one)  and don't leave a forwarding address!  No good ever comes of office flings and regardless of what you might think, my guess is that it's not as secret as you think.  People aren't stupid.......they pick up really quickly on office affairs and you can be sure there is a lot of chit chat happening behind your back.

Edit:  Forget how "sweet" he is to you!  That's plain c**p!  He's a married man cheating on his wife with a married woman who is cheating on her husband!  There is NOTHING  "sweet" about it!!  If you truly want it to stop, you'll do what you have to do....which is quit!....whether you have another job to go to or not!  Why should you be the one who has to go?........because unfortunately that's usually the way it works in a man's world!

Answer 6

Hi, Do you have a set of balls on you hon?

If you do, tell him that this thing was "fun" at times but it is OVER.

Tell him that

IF he EVER emails you again in a inappropriate manner, you will reply to his wife's email address, and all of yours and his bosses.

As long as he believes you would do it, he will back off.

If he doesn't believe you, you can threaten to sue the company for sexual harassment.

He will not want to even be involved in anything that messy. You can always say he forced into your responses........

Be strong, be confident!

You Can Do It!!

Answer 7

This is something you'll have to handle lightly, with care, otherwise it could seriously blow up in your face... think lifetime movie when the crazy ex calls the spouse and rats them out... yeah. Don't be too harsh with him, you don't want him getting upset with you. You'll need to have a talk with him, maybe it's not impossible to stay at your job and get this thing under control. Let him know that you're just starting to feel guilty, and that you love your husband, and that you need to get yourself back on track with him and your life. Think it out before you do it, you know him better than we do, and you'll know what to say and how to say it. But make sure you're very straight with him, so that he doesn't think that you'll be easily persuaded to continue your little fling if he keeps pushing. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I know that you don't want to because of the consequences, but i really think that you should let your husband know about your situation. If he were to find out later on from someone else somehow it will be alot worse than him finding out from you now.  Also, just tell your co-worker straight-up without worrying about how he feels.  If you really want to stop this and if you really  care about your realtionship with your husband you will do everything you can to end it now even if it means that you will argue with your husband or make it awkward at work.