What should I do/say?

Question

My uncle had discussed the possibility of me babysitting his children on Fridays and at that time I was unemployed and needed money. No day was set and although I was excited about the opportunity I am stuck with giving my uncle a reason as to why I don't want to do it anymore. Last week on Thursday my mother's company had a position opening and she (now my boss) considered me for it. We met at lunch to discuss the days I would be working (T,W,F) and we had agreed on them. I started my new job yesterday and my uncle had called me twice to try and get me to work on Saturday, the second call he let me know he talked to my mother and he said that since I was in training that I could call him back later. My mother called last night to say that they rearranged the days I am working so that I could go on Fridays and babysit...and this was without my knowledge AND permission. I am not interested in babysitting anymore because I feel like I am not able to do it since I feel awkward and it is stressful for me, I could barely handle my 3 year old half-sister when I babysat her last week because I felt so grumpy/angry afterwards. How do I appease both people? My mom will be telling me that "it's a learning experience and if you plan on having kids in the future...yada yada." I don't know what to tell my uncle because I don't want to have to lie because it makes me feel like a bad person. What do I say to them?

Answer 1

Tell your uncle the truth.  The truth always works.  You don't want to babysit anymore.  If people become frustrated with you that is their problem.  You always be honest and do not lie.  They must respect honesty or they are trying to take advantage of you.

For some of us taking care of our own children is very stressful and most mothers can openly see why you would be stressful from taking care of someone else's child.

Always speak the truth and do not lie.

Answer 2

It may just be time for you to begin acting like an adult and start telling the truth.  Particularly to your uncle so that he will have time to make other babysitting arrangements.  The more you lie and make excuses, the worse you look.  As far as your mom, let her talk.  That's what moms do.

Answer 3

Since your babysitting arrangement is really a business matter more than a personal matter, keep it businesslike when you tell your uncle that the babysitting gig is over.  Be honest with him and say, "I have another job now, and I can't really fit babysitting into my schedule.  I also don't feel like I have the mental energy for the job right now.  It's probably best if you, Uncle Whoever, find another sitter for Fridays."  If you could actually provide him with a name of a friend who could do the babysitting, your uncle would be very happy.  It's certainly not a necessity though for you to provide a replacement.

As for your mom's commentary, just realize that you have already HAD the babysitting experience and there is no need to keep it up, just so you understand what it's like to look after children.  With that reasoning, all young people should walk around with a cane once in a while so that they will be "prepared" for the experience when they become old.   ????

Answer 4

Honey how old are you?   You sound like you are 14 and you mom rules the roost.  

FIRST OF ALL IT'S YOUR LIFE.   YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT IN REGARDS TO YOUR OBLIGATIONS.  TELL YOUR UNCLE YOU STARTED A NEW JOB AND YOU ARE REALLY TIRED AND DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO BABYSIT AND YOU ARE REALLY SORRY BUT MAYBE ANOTHER TIME?   IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 18 YOUR MOM HAS SOME SERIOUS BOUNDARY ISSUES.  IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 WELL..  YOUR MOM STILL RULES THE ROOST.  

Answer 5

Tell him that you have received a full time job and you really need the extra money.  I am sure that he will understand.  If your are old enough to be  married then you are old enough to make decisions on your own.  You dont say what your husband said, but I am sure he would like the better income