What should I do when my husband need me to be in his daily life but don't love me anymore?

Question

I am a mother of three beautiful children. My husband had an affair last year. There are too many lies from him, we quarrel a lot for the pass one year after this affair happen. He admit that he had made a mistake but he always blame me for starting the quarrel. He never care about my feelings. My current situation is that he say he want back a normal life with me (he need me to help him in his business and take care the children). everyday he is always with me, every things ok. But when come to intimacy part of our s*x life, he just don't really like to have s*x with me. Maybe because he had tried out with young girls, so he find that he don't need me anymore or because he don't love me anymore. Because of this, I wanted to talk to him & solve this marriage problems but he blame me for bringing this out, that is the reason he don't want to have s*x with me. I am very sad. I don't know how to continue with this kind of life. If I want a divorce, he will tell the whole world that I am the one who leave him. If I continue to be with him, I believe he will divorce me one day when he don't need my help anymore. Please help. I really love him, I love my children also.

Answer 1

Why would you love a man who doesn't love you, doesn't respect his marriage vows, is using you for (I assume) free help with his business and who doesn't respect you?

Hire an attorney, divorce him and be sure you get a fair share of the business since you are putting in time there.

You'll find someone that loves you, will be faithful and won't use you only for business.  

Answer 2

do flip overs

Answer 3

If you are going to stay married to him, you have to forgive his cheating and let it go.  Bringing it up all the time is not good for you or the relationship.  I know what he means when he says you are the reason there's no intimacy.  If you are always complaining and mentioning his mistakes and faults, he isn't going to want to be intimate with you.  This is not personal, no one wants to be intimate with someone who is always on their case about things.

Try to let the past go if you want to stay married.  Seek counseling if you have to.  But you can't be happy if you don't let go.  

Answer 4

your going to have to decide if you are going to forgive him and get past it, or if not. If you can't, then get a divorce because your going to make yourself miserable. It takes a LONG time for things to go back to normal after an affair. It just doesn't go back to normal just like that. You both have to work at it. If his unwilling then there isn't much you can do. But harping on it, and bringing it up all the time isn't going to help either. Move past it or divorce. its that simple.

Answer 5

This sounds like you are in a terrible situation.  If you can please try to get your husband to go to a counselor.  This may be the only way you can save your marriage.  Call around and see who is available in your area.  If you can't afford this maybe there are self help groups that you can attend.  If your husband won't go then you go.  You need to discuss this with other people who can be sympathetic and listen to what you have to say.

Answer 6

you shouldn't stay with him because he needs you, what happens when you have no self value bacause your husband just keeps you around to be a nanny . s*x ins't everything but it means alot when your husband doesn't want to be intimate with you . your self esteem is going to go down fast if you let him do this too you . you need to leave and take care of you. good luck and im sorry you had to deal with this how horrible .  

Answer 7

Honey that is no way to live. You could suggest marriage counseling again and if he isn't interested, leave. You and your kids deserve better. Who cares what he tells people, if anyone asks..tell them the truth. They will understand, and it they don't, well that's their problem. You need to think about and worry about you and your kids, that's it. I would never live like that. I'm sorry you're going through this..I'm sure it's very hard.

Answer 8

Your choice, just do what you think you need to do.

Answer 9

He's using you and he will divorce you as soon as he's finished with you.  Stop helping him with his life.  Obviously he doesn't care enough to fulfill any of your needs, so what are you doing with him?  It's not your fault when you bring this stuff up, it's that he doesn't care enough about you to want to talk about it or work it out.  Tell him you also need a normal life with s*x.  I'm sorry when a man doesn't want s*x like that he is cheating or g*y.  There is no other reason unless he cannot afford viagra (and usually limp men still try and fail).  Get away from him asap.  

Answer 10

Divorce him for Chrissakes. You're the primary caretaker so you'll get the kids. he'll pay support and get visitation. Who gives two sh**its what he tells other people anyway?

You left because you made every attempt to mend the relationship and his only response was you brought up his transgression. Too bad. Isn't that the way problems are solved? By talking about them?

Get rid of this trash and find yourself a real man who'll not only take you and the kids into his heart but give you that roll in the hay that you (and all of us..lets face it) desperately need. Then your life will be complete once again.

Answer 11

I have seen this problem many times on the Dr. Phil show.

I really don't think you'll be able to fix this problem without professional help. Find someone that has a good reputation with marriage counseling. This marriage can be saved if you get help as soon as possible.

Good luck.

Answer 12

age before beauty.