What should I do when my stepmom wants my sister to wear this necklace?

Question

in my wedding and I HATE IT. Well, here is the story. I wore it when I was about 12 in my brother's wedding when i was a bridesmaid.

My stepmom thought it would be neat if my sister would wear it, because she is my bridesmaid.

WELL, this necklace is very special to me, I hate the way it looks, but it's VERY special to me. It was my stepmom's mom's necklace. IT's VERY old and not pretty.

I UNDERSTAND why she wants her to wear it, but I'm not having ANY of my bridesmaids wear ANY jewelry.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want my sister to wear a necklace and her be the only one wearing it.

I'll try to describe the necklace:

It is a crystal like (but not, because it's fake) with round balls that go all the way around it, there is three strings so imagine not only one line with the crystal balls but three on your neck and it gets bigger as the go down.

I appreciate the necklace, but I don't want my sis to wear it, but part of me says its just a necklace I should let it go

Answer 1

I would just tell your stepmom that you've decided you don't want the bridesmaids to wear jewelry period and you think that having your sister wear the necklace would make her look off-balance with the rest of the wedding party.

Then tell her you think it would be a lovely idea if she (your stepmom) wears the necklace.

Answer 2

I would let it go.. it'll be something your step mom will remember forever.or you could find a different chain for the pendant and make it into a less noticeable anklet.

Answer 3

I don't think you should try to control what jewelry people wear in your wedding.  Stop focussing on the darn necklace.  It is only a necklace.  let it be your sister's decision.  If she wants this ugly strand of balls and crytal hanging around her neck, laying above her bosom, then she has the right to wear whatever ugly bauble she chooses.

Answer 4

First of all have you taken the time to discuss this with your step-mom?  How does your sister feel about wearing this necklace and does she even want to wear it?  You didn't mention what kind of dress your bridesmaids would be wearing.  It might be possible for your sister to still wear it but it not be in the pictures.  Can it be tucked inside the dress?  Also, maybe you could suggest to your step-mom that you had no intentions for the bridesmaids to wear necklaces but you would be happy to take some of the pictures with this necklace on so that she could have a copy but others will not have this necklace in the picture.  It is always okay to be honest with people as long as you are respectful.  This is your wedding but at the same time you have to understand this is very important to others too.  Don't back down but a compromise might just fix everything!!!!

Answer 5

I can see your point but it is just a neckless. It might be special to your sister. Whether it is ugly or not, it looks more like a traditional item now.  One day, someone will draw the line saying "no way!", but I wouldn't see why not to wear it if all else goes well.

Answer 6

Does your sister want to wear the necklace? If she really wants to wear it then I'd consider letting it slide. If she doesn't or doesn't really care either way..

After your description I can understand where you are coming from with not wanting her to wear it. I know you said that you didn't want your bridesmaids wearing any jewelery but perhaps you could change it so that you buy them a necklace to wear as their present for being a part of your wedding. That way you can choose a nice simple silver or white gold necklace for them all to wear. Tell your stepmother that you really appreciate the thought but you've already bought all of the bridesmaids necklaces to wear on the day as your present to them so your sister won't be able to wear the necklace.

If you really don't want them to wear any jewelery then I like the suggestion of above of explaining that she might look out of place with the other bridesmaids and then suggest that she wear it.

Answer 7

its your wedding, just say, you know, I would prefer that she didnt wear it because none of the other maids will be wearing jewelry and I think it would look funny...end of story!

Answer 8

i know the kind of necklace you mean

if i were you? i would just say yes, thank you

and on the day? the necklace would be forgotton to be put on in all the rush of wedding preparations!

Answer 9

I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think you might be a little jealous. But being jealous is normal don't worry. What you can do is  tell her that if she wears it then it will muck up the photo's because the light will wreck the photo's. If that doesn't work tell her how you feel. Trust me it may be hard but she might understand

Have a nice wedding :)

Answer 10

Does your sister want to wear it?  Just tell your step mom that it is very important to you that all of your bridesmaids match exactly.  Tell her that you think that the necklace is very special but that you always had this image in your head when you imagined your wedding of all the bridesmaids being perfectly coordinated and with out necklaces.  Maybe your sister can wear the necklace to your rehearsal dinner?