What should I do with my 16 yr old daughter?

Question

She didn't think anyone was home. I was supposed to be at a funeral, but got sick & stayed home. She brought home a few girlfriends & a few boys, including a 14 yr old boy that she's been texting alot... I've read some of the messages & they talked about making out!!! She was surprised when I came outta my bedroom. She of course lied & said she just came by to get a few of her things she forgot, (we live way out in country).

Answer 1

I dealt with that too, I hate for my house (that I've worked so hard for) to be a teenage hang out.. I lost that battle, fought it until she moved out.

Regarding making out, the people who first answered must be kids too, because I think its NOT COOL... i agree she should be more concerned with school..

I guess all you can do is be sure she has a good understanding of STDs and pregnancy.

She will make her own decisions, I know how hard it is to watch them make their own decisions..

mine was raised right and STILL made the wrong decisions, I have to not blame myself for that..

good luck to you, I know what you are going through!

Answer 2

The first thing is... TRUST YOUR DAUGHTER!!!  If she says she was there for that, maybe she was.  You can't just automatically assume she's a liar.  c**p like that tells kids "She doesn't care what I say, whether it's the truth or not".  I used to live out in the country, and it didn't keep me from getting around, even at 16.  It's possible they were bored, and really had nothing better to do.  It doesn't occur to a bunch of teens that it's an inconvenience.  They spend time together without drinks.

As far as her "talking about making out", ... so what?  Yeah, it's weird that the kid is younger than her.  Most girls at 16 want to date a senior, so it's odd.  But I'm not reading anything on here that suggests action on your part.

If you feel she's done something wrong, then take away her phone.  Then sit down and talk to her about what's going on in her life.  DON'T PRY, just ask.  If she doesn't want to talk, respect that and let her know that you're there for her.

There are times when it goes too far, and that's when she'll need to know that you're there to talk to her.  If she thinks you'll nag or yell, she'll never talk to you about anything important again.

Answer 3

First of all, it is extremely inappropriate to read your daughter's text messages. A lot of parents justify tings like that by saying that they are worried about their child's safety, but the truth is it is wrong. What would you do if you found out that your daughter went through your messages without asking? You should probably apologize to her for that.

Second, making out really isn't a big deal, especially at age 16. You really shouldn't worry so much. Of course she was surprised, she thought you were at a funeral, but that doesn't mean that she was doing something wrong. Do you not trust your daughter at all? How do you know that she didn't really come by to grab a couple of things that she forgot? I don't see how yoru location matters.

If you really trust your daughter so little, you need to think long and hard about how you've been raising her. Have you ever trusted her? Or given her an opportunity to prove that she could be trusted? Clearly something is not right, and you need to do something about that.

Trust is vital in any parent-child relationship, and yours seems to have none.

Answer 4

Im a 14 yr old Girl.... And honestly.. Some of you parents need to relax.. and give your child some freedom! and going threw her text? was really low of you.. making out.. is something 6th graders do.. thats no biggy.. but going threw her fone jus lets her know you cant trust her.. and how will she be able to come and talk to you about anything if she cant becuz she feels as if.. she is going to get in trouble becuz you cant trust her.. loosen up... give your daughter SPACE! I talked to my momma bout it.. and now i tell her everything!! and that jus made our bond better... jus loosen up

Answer 5

You should be happy they were only texting about making out. Your daughter is 16 (still a minor yes) but respect her privacy.  If your worried sit down and have a talk with her.  

If you have a rule of NOBODY in the house while your not home then maybe ground her for a week, or take away her cell phone...just to show her that you can't be walked on! But truth be told- ALL teenagers have done this (including myself when I was 16- harmless)

Answer 6

i dont think you should do anything to your daughter, shes a teen. she was at home at least she wasnt at the boys house doing anything and she was with other girls and guys also. plus if shes 16 she probably has made out alot of other times before just as long as she isnt sexually active i wouldnt worry. talk to her if you really want to know but since she is a teen she may not tell you everything. dont punish her unless you specifically told her not to bring anyone to the house with her and if you didnt actually catch any of them doing anything wrong.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, they do grow up and become curious about the bodies of the opposite s*x. This leads to hanky panky. The best thing that you can do is discuss the risks of sexual activity with her such as pregnancy and std's. Ask her if she would like to get birth control. If you ask her, she is less likely to refuse than if you demanded she take it. Even though it feels like encouragement make sure she has plenty of condoms. You are not encouraging sexual activity. You are helping her to protect herself. If you two are somewhat on the same page, this transition in her life will go a lot more smoothly than if you are not.

Answer 8

The vast majority of 16 year olds are sexually active.

Making out is NOTHING. NOOTTHHHINNNGGG.

They're all having s*x,

so.

You'll just have to deal with that.

Lmao..

making out.. ouu, such a big deal when in reality they're all having s*x. They're teenagers. Teenagers have s*x. GET OVER IT.

Answer 9

NO PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT MAKING OUT! Time to grow up mom and realize that your little girl is at an age where making out is not the only thing they're gonna do.