What should I do with my 5 yrs. old who is really picky with the clothes she wears?

Question

Is the same show every morning. I am really tired of this.

My girl is 5 yrs. old, and she likes to pick the clothes she is wearing every day for school, but the point is that she is really picky. For example this morning, the socks were the problem, she started saying she doesn't like them (I had to buy some new socks because the other ones (brand new) where too short.....) she wanted to wear different socks and then she started with her hair, she wants a pony tail, then a hair band...and finally she decided to just have pig tails.

OMG!!!! This situation drives me crazy!!!

I can not imagine when she will be 15 years old!!! I will freak out if she start doing whatever she wants with her clothes.... nope. I don't think I will permit that.

What should I do??? Let her be... or what?

Answer 1

I have all of my girl's clothes in the closet hanging as outfits. I would have them choose 1 or 2 the night before. They next day they would get dress. I would say what are we doing to your hair. Do it and then that was it. If she changed her mind I would say I did what you ask. Time for school. They are 9 and 11. I  don't have this problem anymore. They did go through that period of what do you think? Should I were this or that?When I answered they always had something else to say. this started going on for 15 minutes every morning. Sometimes longer. I came up with this. My husband knows nothing about fashion. I would say I don't do fashion in the morning go ask Dad. After a few times they figured out they should just figure it out themselves.

Answer 2

Have her pick them out the day before, before she goes to sleep, so that you don't have the added stress in your busy morning.  Have her decide, at that time, what hairstyle she is going to have, too (maybe have her set an 'appointment time' at the 'mom beauty salon', each night before bed).  

Then, take yourself out of the decision making process.  Let it be her responsibility.  If you see she's getting frustrated about it, you can ask her if she would like you to help her or give her some advice to make it easier.  But, otherwise, let her figure this out herself.

Answer 3

You are letting her control the situation because you don't want to take the time to deal with her.  Discipline has to be consistent , not only when you feel like it.

  

I've never heard of anyone "having to buy" anything because a five year old made them do it.  

Put on her whatever you decide and let it be.  Parenthood is not always fun so be prepared for tears, but do not give up.

PS  - Always let her know how beautiful she is regardless of what she is wearing.

Answer 4

that poster who chooses clothes for her 13 yr. old daughter is like totally abnormal. As long as she is warm enough and has the basics covered don't sweat it.

Answer 5

YOU NEED TO SET DOWN THE LAW===HAVE HER SET OUT HER CLOTHES THE NIGHT BEFORE..BEFORE SHE GOES TO BED...FROM SHOES TO THE TOP OF HER HEAD[[  HAIR ACCESS. @ SO FORTH ]]].THEN MAKE HER STICK TO IT..OR THE TEENAGER WITH DRIVE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND..BEEN THERE == DONE THAT!!!!!!!!  HAD TWO GIRLS AND 1 BOY.....EVERYTHING YOU LET GO BY NOW WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER BELIEVE ME!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

I agree with the other poster who said to choose your battles.  Let her where what she wants.  Explain the situation to her teacher so she knows you aren't some crazy woman letting your child wear summer clothes when its snowing out.  She'll eventually grow out of this behavior or learn how to wear appropriate clothing...whichever comes first.

Answer 7

You tell her that she has a certain amount of time(Say five minutes) to pick one and at the end of that time, if she hasn't picked one then you get to choose.

Answer 8

Pick your battles.  Let her wear what she wants.  5 yo in mixed up clothes are cute.  Just get a button that says, "I dressed myself today."  But once its on, no changing.

Answer 9

Give her a choice of 2 outfits, and tell her thats it.  If she still cant decide, you put her in what you want.  Your the parent stay strong Good luck x

Answer 10

This is mostly a control issue and attention seeking behavior.  Don't fight with her.  Give her two choices for an outfit and 2 minutes to decide.  If she has a fit, or can't choose, you choose for her (let her know that this will be the consequence at the start).  Give her 2 choices for hairstyle, same deal...also don't let her "change her mind" after she has already decided.  Make her stick by what she said.  Give some consequences for bad morning behavior...for example, if you act this way after school you will have no TV time, etc.  Have some GOOD consequences too...give her a sticker for every day she gets ready in a reasonable amount of time without giving you a problem (set a timer) and when she gets like 10 stickers or whatever, she gets a special reward (it could be anything from a special dinner to having a friend over).  

But basically, put your foot down.  Tell her these are the rules, these are the consequences, and that is the way it is going to be.  Don't back down, don't compromise.  You will have some mornings, especially at first, where she will throw fits and be a terror.  Don't let this make you quit.  While it may take some time, if you are consistant, this behavior will end.  Good luck.

Answer 11

You are right when she gets 15 you might as well wake her up 2 hours early because it is even harder.  When my daughter was small we made her lay her clothes out the night before, she could lay out tweo outfits on her dresser to choice from the next morning and it did help to save a lot of time.  When it came to her hair though that was always and still is a fight but the older she gets she will do more and more of that herself as well.  Give her two options for her hair a pony tail or braids and it has to be one of the two and after you have fixed it dont redo it.  My oldest who is almost 16 was this way and like you I almost went nuts, my 10 year old could care less as long as it is clean and matches and ponytails are her best friend.  My son is 8 and he will change twice before school, then as soon as he gets home and again before supper if we dont catch him first he is worse than any girl about clothes.

Answer 12

You should allow her to choose her own outfit(despite the color combination she may come up with, lol). Choose your battles, this one is not that big. As for the socks, she needs to deal with the socks being too short. If you run out and get new ones, than you are teaching her that her complaining and refusing to wear the socks just got her new ones. If she dresses herself than there is no chance for her to be picky.

As for the hair, give her one choice. If you do her hair and she changes her mind, tell her, too late. If she doesn't want the ponytail after you fix it, then she can wear her hair down or keep the ponytail. She will most likely cry, but you need to stick to your guns and not give in.

Answer 13

As long as the clothing is weather-appropriate, let her wear it.

A friend of mine went through the same thing when her daughter hit 4 or so - she ended up insisting on wearing her two favorite sun dresses right through winter.  So her mom bought turtlenecks, tights and sweaters ... and let her go for it.

My son is 3, and sometimes insists on wearing his hockey jersey for days on end.  He can't wear it to school - because I have to wash it at some point - but I let him wear it all weekend, all night and even to bed.

They say choose your battles, and I figure that clothing is one of those where I'm willing to surrender.

Answer 14

I think this is just a power thing. Dont give in to her. If she asks for a pony tail and you do it dont take it out. Give her a couple choices for outfits that way she can still make decisions but its more under control. You are the parent and you make the ultimate decision. Dont let her try to rule the house.

Answer 15

WOW! All these answers are really good. I wish I had this much advice when my girls were that young and went through this. What I found was that it was less a power play after all, but more about self-expression. The funny thing is that it happened with all three girls right around that 5 yr old age. The more creative they were, the stronger they felt about wearing what they wanted. Getting them dressed in the mornings was a nightmare... until we came to a compromise.

I agreed to let them choose their outfit one day a week at first. Saturday was the first day. It didn't matter what we did, they chose and I found something to compliment each time. One wore a bandanna tied around her leg and her pants leg tucked into her sock. Another liked colours, and chose too wear 7 or 8 at a time. The last liked to wear different shoes on the right and left foot.

Then we moved to two days - a school day and Saturday... and so on. By the time we were up to 7 days a week, they were dressing themselves, and learned the value of moderation (smile). We agreed on a plan, respected the rules and we all seemed to be a little less stressed. It was a good lesson in compromise, and trust building.

Answer 16

you pick two outfits out the night before then the next morning let her  choose between your two choices.  have the socks with the outfits already.  

then let her decide on her hair.  i know it takes forever i have a 6 year old the same way.

Answer 17

as long as she's dressed for the weather conditions and not half naked, let her dress herself..

Answer 18

Give your daughter a couple of options for the outfit and hair for that day.  Tell her that if she can't decide, you will decide for her and that's final !  Do not let her be or else the clothing and hair issue will get outta hand.  I still tell my 13yr old dau that my word is final !

Answer 19

My parents made us pick out our clothes for the whole week on sunday night and whatever we picked we had to wear

Answer 20

tell her to choose her clothes the night before....and if she doesn't then she will have to wear what you choose.....and if you can bring her clothes shopping with you next time and give her choices on the clothes you will buy her...then if she has a fit about the clothes remind her that she choose them.....

with her hair you ask her once and if she changes her mind then she goes to school with her hair not done,just brushed out....

Answer 21

My kids pick out their clothes the night before-it makes the morning alot easier.

Good luck!

Answer 22

Get her a few dresses alike and tell her that's her uniform and that's all she is allowed to wear to school and see what happens.

I used to apposes school uniforms but seeing my 3 grow up in them like I did as well then my grandsons had to in high school ,it seems to set a trend for the rest of there life and there is no she/he wore some thing better than me.

So I think a uniform is the way to go suggest it to the school as well that way everyone fits in

Answer 23

I am going to make this short and sweet. You cannot allow this to continue happening, pretty soon she will only wear the 100.00 pair of jeans becuase her other ones are not good enough. She will think she gets to decide everything and if she puts up a stink about it she will always get what she wants. This happened to us and she's 8 so I finally said do you know how many children dont' have any clothes? Do you know how many children only have 2 pairs of jeans and a couple of shirts? There are lots of them and guess what they are happy with what they get sometimes becuase they don't get much. You shoudl be happy you have clothes to wear to school. If you don't pick out an outfit with what you have in your closet (make sure it's good for the weather conditions) you can avoid this by taking her summer clothes out of the closet for winter) If you don't pick out an outfit you will go to school in your underwear. that's the bottom line..and it works every time. It may sound harsh, but she really needs to know that you are serious and you are the boss. Because you are the parent! Otherwise you could try well then I guess we are going to give away some of your clothes to children who don't have many and you can just a have a few outfits so you wear the same one every couple of days. Try that..