What should I do with my 7 year old son that is telling teachers that they are not his boss and talking back?

Question

My 7 year old son was suspended from school today because he mocked a teacher and then responded to four other teachers with the phrase " You are not my mother, I don't have to listen to you, and leave me alone." He was shouting this at teachers after they told him to go to the office. He also left the office once he was there without premission and had to be hunted down and brought back to the office. I am not sure what is going on. My son is a very great student with an above average reading level and math level. He has never before got in any trouble at school. I was just looking for suggestions on what to do with him as far as punishment as well as for previous refrence.

Any comments would be great. Thanks

Answer 1

Boys need to know who is boss and what the rules are. Explain carefully that while at school the teachers are the boss and he needs to listen and follow their directions. Encourage the teachers to put up a list of the class rules if this has not been done already. Be very clear about your expectations that he obey his teachers and any other adult in authority. Withdrawl of priveledges may be an effective consequence. All the best with your son and the rest of the parenting journey.

Answer 2

Ask your son why he talks back to his teachers and try to make a compromise with him. Maybe if he asks for something, you can teach him a lesson by saying "leave me alone".

Answer 3

I have an 8 year old.. He tries  to push his buttons.. But he knows whats right and wrong.... Now I would really have a talk to you son to find out what happened... Something could have happened with another student and he got in trouble for it and got mad.. I don't know.. But I've had a few times where my son got in trouble when another student started the problem.. But really you need to talk to him and let him know when he is at school the teacher and staff are his guardians  for the day!.. Good luck It gets worse. Stop it now!

Answer 4

Ask him what happened, have him tell you in his own words, then ask the question well why did you do that? ( before warned he might say i don't know ) then you could ask well how do you think the teachers and outher students felt when you screamed? Tell him his behavor was unexceptable, and he should never do that ageain. I would ground him for a few days or as he long as he is suspended for from stuff like friends, games, T.V. computer, playing out side, ect . If he asks why he can not do the things tell him why. Talk to the teachers, ask if anything could of set him off. think about things at home, is there a devorice going on, a parent, or someone he is close to there one moment and gone the next, then back and then gone. has there been a death, new school, dose he get teased dose he get along with the teacher are you working all the time. Rember something that seems like nothing to us adults could be " it's the end of the world" to a child or young teen.

Answer 5

You need to make the kid understand that it is his "job" to be in school right now, and you have the expectation that he will behave, do what the teachers say, etc.

It kind of sounds like something else may be bothering him. If he is normally well behaved and a good student, you need to talk and find out what is really going on.

Answer 6

He may have never caused any problem before, but if you don't get a handle on this immediately then you  are going to have lots more problems.  What does he want to do the most?  You need to take that away.  If it happens again, take away what he wants the most.  He needs to feel the pressure of what is going to happen when he acts this way.

Answer 7

Maybe something else is going on. He might be having trouble with friends at school and wanted to prove that he is a tough guy. Make it clear to him that his teachers are the boss of him just like you are at home and that if you ever hear about something like this happening again he will have severe consequences at home.

Answer 8

Back up the school.   One thing that I can't stand is when the discipline a teacher is trying to instill at school isn't followed up at home.  By showing your son that you agree with the school that his behavior was out of line and disrespectful, he will learn that it is unacceptable to you.  You need to follow up with appropriate punishment at home.  Take away a privilege, and make it a big one.  If there's a party scheduled that weekend, then he stays home, even if you  had previously told him he could go.  Letting him go when he has been disrespectful at school lets him know that it's really okay to act that way because you aren't going to do anything about it.  Eventually, he could end up telling you that he doesn't have to listen to you either.  Make sure you and your spouse show a united front in this.

Since this is unusual behavior for him, it's very likely that something happened at school or on the bus that is setting him off, but somehow he's very quickly gotten it into his head that his teachers have no authority over him.  It might be a good idea to have the school psychologist talk with him, possibly do a little counseling at school, to try and figure out what the problem is.  If the problem continues and worsens, see if your school has a mentoring program - if your son can be paired up with a teacher to mentor him, it could help his behavior (these are things we do at our school to help improve behaviors).  Your school psychologist can also work with you to come up with strategies for home that will help you reinstill that seemingly lost sense of respect for authority.