What should I do with my girlfriend who hurts me.?

Question

My girlfriend and i have been going out since April. Its been rough for me during this recession because i haven't been able to find a job. I moved back from Las Vegas and im going back to college in california.

My question to you answering people is how do i deal with this situation

Last week Friday i called my girlfriend and she did not pickup her phone. Its at 10 at night and she is not home. I called her about 20 times and i began to worry about her. I feared that she was in danger or something bad happened; so i drove to her house. I knocked on her door twice and she was not home. Her house mates said she had already left. So im wondering why would she be out when her car is still at home.

So set post behind her neighbors truck only to find her coming home late with her guy friends. I confronted her and she told me she only went karaoke-ing. Since she was with more than one guy friend i let it slide, but tonight she is out drinking boba with another friend and i asked her how many friends is she with. She answered one, then i asked if that friend is a girl or not and she answered me in a (i dont wanna say tone.) (from her answer i know its a guy)

Should i dump her?

Answer 1

well yah dont let her take advantage of u ur the man ur acting like a girl dont let her controll u!

Answer 2

You are a stalker.  20 times you called her?  d**n!  Unless you were engaged or married, I would never bug someone that much.  Just dump her.  I also don't like it when girlfriends hang out other guys.  

Answer 3

if you want you can.i think so

Answer 4

id, it kiiiinda sounds like You're abusing her. One sign of an abusive bf is one who does not let his gf have a social life. I don't know you guys at all tho, so just putting in some word.

Answer 5

I don't know if I would take it to the extreme of dumping her, but I would suggest talking to her about the things she's doing and how much it upsets you...if she doesn't care what you have to say, then dump her.  A relationship isn't a one way street.  

Answer 6

you got trust issues you should work through

Answer 7

yes. She should be wanting to spend that time with you, not leaving you out. Totally not loving or fair.

ETA: You sound pretty controlling when you say you keep your loved ones 'in check'. Do you really mean it that way or no? Sometimes keeping a leash on someone only makes them want to stray. Many are successful at drawing people to them because they are loving, as opposed to domineering.

Answer 8

Sounds like she's not too into you, eh? But to tell you the truth, there is not NEARLY enough information here to really help you. Despite writing two paragraphs, you really are only giving us ONE anecdote here. Maybe she just had a bad night. Who knows? Why don't you do the mature and intelligent thing and TALK TO HER about it? You'll know by your conversation whether or not to try to make it work.

Good luck!

Answer 9

No, you should talk to her again! Tell her how you feel about her going off like that with some guys...i mean she should at least tell you where she is going! Ask her to maybe next time invite you to go with them! Just let her know how you are feeling! And then if shedoesn'tt respond in the way that you think she should or the way that you want her to then i would let her know that you wouldconsiderr letting her go if shedidn'tt stop doing something that you thinkisn'tt right. I mean you and her are the ones in a relationship...not you, her and all her guy friends...right?

Answer 10

i personally wouldn't, i guess you should at least give her a chance

Answer 11

Only you know if you should dump her....but if she is not being honest or open with you then that is definately something you need to talk to her about.  If she is not willing to work on that, then you need to decide how important that is to you.

Answer 12

Jumping the gun on the dump i think. Talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel about her going out with guys. See what happens. If you think shes cheating on you your going to break up most likely cause the second you accuse her of it your going to start a huge trust issue which people generally don't come back from. I don't know what else to tell you.

Answer 13

Definitely talk to her about it first. Just tell her how you feel. If you don't really get the reaction from her that you want, or that you think you should get, then yeah, dump her.

Answer 14

talk to her about it

Answer 15

.........talk to her about it

Answer 16

Man, talk about disrespect!

If you did that to her, she'd be all over you.

It's up to you on breaking up considering if the relationship can be saved.

But you got to tell her what you want and expect out of a relationship and stick to it.

If she doesn't like it, then walk.

You sound like a nice guy and eventually she will be crying to get you back.

Answer 17

she already dumped you   move on

Answer 18

Yes.  Her behavior is disrespectful towards you and your relationship.  You should not have to call your g/friend 20x in order to reach her.  Her blatant disregard for your feeling suggests she's moving on and you should do the same.  

Answer 19

Try to ask her maybe their are some problems in your relationship, so that you can fix it or maybe she is not contented to your love. Or she didn't love you.

Answer 20

If you want a girl who can't stay home, drinks to much, makes you jealous by going out with guy friends, can't be honest with you when she is with a friend, is a party-er, etc. then stay with her, but I think you want more in a relationship. Find someone who understands what you want in a relationship.

Answer 21

Sorry but yes your stressing out and that can lead to drinking and other bad stuff and you wont have time to work cause your always worrying about what she is doing and if she is with guy friends talk to them ask them questions but I think the best thing to do is to dump her

Answer 22

Ouch man I am truly sorry... Sometimes suspecting someone of cheating can be more heart-wrenching then actually having someone cheat on you. I am not going to lie and sugar coat this for you... You handled things poorly. Not in the sense that you did it wrong its just not healthy to both you and the strength of the relationship. You put yourself through so much stress when really the whole thing might just be a miss understanding I honestly believe that you just need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her and just see whats going on!! If she cares for you then it shouldnt really be an issue because she will respect the fact that you are handling it in a mature responsible manner and not stalking her outside her house wait to see her cheating...

By asking the question "Should i dump her?" you lead me to believe that you have already considered this to be a possibility. This particular issue is a personal choice. I do no know you personally but at the same time this recession has been hard on all of us. Don't put yourself through so much pain. Talk it out with her and then decide whats best for you! you catch that for YOU!! don't make a decision on whats best for the both of you because thats not your job!

Good Luck with College!!

Answer 23

im sorry to say dump her then find a job then get back on ur feet and take time for you and don't look for someone let them come to u

Answer 24

Talk to her about it.... if she belittles you or you feel that she is lying, dump her.  It's better than sitting around wondering where she is and who she's with all the time.

Answer 25

No..

Your girlfriend needs to hang around other guys , just as much as you need to hang around other girls.

If you're suspecting she's cheating.. Maybe talk to her about it.

You need to be able to trust her for the relationship to work..

Everything sounds okay, though.. She's just having fun.

Answer 26

From what i read it seems like your girlfriend is cheating on you but then again she could be just hangin wit friends so i think you should just listen to your heart