What should I do with my hubby?

Question

We constantly argue. We are very young and have a three month old baby. I am 19 and he is 21. We love each other and our kid to death, but we just can't make up our differences. We get mad at each other way too much. I just moved back to my mom's house because I couldn't stand living like that anymore, thought that we'd argue less and lear more, but no use. We don't want to divorce, but what can we do to get over all these arguments. I think that most of things he says is so stupid, and same goes for me. Please help. No Judgements. Just advice please

Answer 1

The more you stay away the more you will argue. If you argue over stupid things then I think you both should sit down with a piece of paper ad write dow the things you dis like about each other and go from there. If you two can't solve this stuff the maybe you guys should just end it. It's not good to argue around your baby either. It will make the baby sick and the you will wonder why. Every time you argue with your hubby just tell him you love him, and that's that.

Answer 2

Sadly, I am in a similar place as you - I agree with others that marriage counseling is a start but ultimately it is through your mutual effort that this situation will be resolved. Marriage counseling will teach you to communicate better with each other and that is a HUGE step in the right direction.

Answer 3

I honestly think your husband and you need to stop......think......breath....and get control of your own words for just a second. Then just look at each other and then at your beautiful 3 month old baby. See what the two of you have made. Now look at each other...smile...then think (something from your heart) of what is it that you both want for each other as well as your child. Once your married its a new adventure. I have learned that patience, understanding, and trust are important. I had a child at 20 and he is 1 yr older then I. It is hard even after 10 years of married. Find a way to be able to talk to each other about what you think is important or what you love, as well as your husband, but be opened minded. Everyone is diffrent no matter what anyone says. I've learned this too. If I said it was a blue sky he would say no its a Deep Blue sky. In a relationship or marriage you will learn to be able to meet each other half way with what ever the arguement is about. It takes time and a whol lot of patience. But for your love and your child take a breather, no arguements for at least an hour, then try a conversation, then talk about your baby, start from there. See where it takes you. If your love is as strong as you say it is I truly think any miscommunication is fixable. My marriage has that mistake still and instead of learning to deal with our diffrences we ignored them. So please don't argue over the little things in life. Especially with a child involved it's more important to enjoy every moment of your marriage and family then to fight all the time. I hope things go well and congrats on your baby.  

Answer 4

When one starts, tell him that it is wrong and you won't participate in it. Then be the bigger person and the first one to step up and just stop. Be quiet. Change the subject. Kiss him and tell him you love him. Do something different. Anything that works. Just make the first move and make the fighting stop.  

Answer 5

...best of luck to you.

getting married young..huge mistake on my part

I'm in the same boat

we have a baby together

my situation is much worse though

i suggest counseling and doing your best to mature and grow up faster than you normally would. hard work but would be worth it. i really do wish you the best. i know exactly how you feel

Answer 6

Marriage counseling sounds like it would benefit you right now.  You're still in love, still committed, but can't fight fair . . . maybe a third party could help you two sort out your differences and teach you how to deal with the hot tempers and stresses of marriage.

Answer 7

You have a child......grow up fast and quit fighting.

Marriage is not a contest of who wins arguments, stop trying to top each other.

Answer 8

That sounds like what my marriage was like at the start.  You just have to learn how to work at things.  Also you have to think of the baby.  Have you two went to your preacher and talked  to him and let him guide you two. Have you two talked to yours parents and like them in on your problems and see what they say.

Answer 9

Ofcourse you guys are going to have fight one ur only 19 with a baby hes 21 all married couples need that time for each me and my husband both are 21 but we dont have no kids just time for each other that would help ur marriage why did u get married what u need to do is take an vacation just u 2 and have fun that would help  

Answer 10

try marriage counceling or something of that sort....i know it may sound lame, but i've heard it helps. Try hearing each other out and really listen to one another before you say it's stupid, there may be good reasons behind the way he thinks-an vise versa. Hope this helps a little, good luck!