What should I give my birth son for Christmas?

Question

I had a baby boy in August but before he was born I decided that he would be adopted. I really want to give him a meaningful gift for Christmas but I don't know what to get for him...I thought about giving him a Christmas ornament and making it a yearly tradition and maybe give him some toys as well but I am not sure.. Any ideas???

Answer 1

I don't see why people kept mention needing  adoptive parents' permission to give a child a gift, that is too up tight! What will the adoptive parents do, sue the birth mother? It's not like people can easily forget the child you gave birth to..

Answer 2

I think an ornament is a good idea. I mostly just wanted to say that Julius is a MORON!! What a wonderful thing you did to give a home to your baby and a baby to a couple who couldn't have their own. Don't listen to a word that idiot says! Your life and your baby's will be blessed for the selfless decision you made.

Answer 3

integrity and love care of others star bless for your question this is the time

Answer 4

From the sounds of this, it seems that you must have an open adoption, where you are able to stay in contact with your son.  My guess is that you and the adopted parents have some type of relationship.  Why not just ask the parents to see what the baby needs.  He is still an infant and wont know anything about christmas this year.  But the ornament does sound like a nice gift.

Answer 5

Hi Katie,

I think a yearly christmas ornament is a wonderful idea.

The scrapbook idea would be nice to. You could use a photo album that has a 3-ring binder so each year you could add to it. Put different things in the plastic sleeves: a favorite poem, or nursery rhyme, or your personal thoughts written out on pretty paper. You could even write a whole letter and neatly fold it and put a ribbon around it; scaps of the gift wrap you use to wrap his presents in with a note on the back with the year and what the gift was; current photos of you of course! You could keep the blank pages yourself so that you can fill a few more in over the coming year and add them to the album next Christmas.

There are some pretty audio lullabies on CD. This is one I found where you can listen to clips of the recordings. It's pretty inexpensive, too.

http://music.barnesandnoble.com/search/m...

A warm snuggly blanket or toy sounds good too.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my baby to adoption a long time ago. I think that whatever gifts you decide to give will be wonderful, and I think you are wonderful for caring so much.

Answer 6

You sound like a wonderful and caring birth mom...I have a couple suggestions, depending on how your relationship with his family is.  Since he's still growing so much so quickly, how about you buy TWO things...Two teddy bears...one for you, and one for him...ask his adoptive parents to take the pictures they send you next or with the teddy bear, so you'll always be able to see exactly how big he is and how much he's grown from the pictures.  If you see him a lot in person, then you might not need the teddy bears, but I also like the idea of a snuggly.  One of those animals with the partial blanket on them...then you could know he has a snuggly every night :)

I also really like the ornament idea...we had that growing up as kids, and we each got them when we moved out, so now that we each have our own trees, we have them, now every year I buy my mom the yearly snowflake ornament from Lenox, and she loves putting them all on her tree every year :)

Take Care!

Answer 7

I love the ornament idea!  Anything like that where you could give him something similar year after year....I just think that is really cool.  We have a son through adoption but will never have the chance to know his bio mom.  If we did, I would love for her to share something like that with our family.

Answer 8

The ornanment is a specail gift one that you can carry on for years to come, one day he will know comes from you and he can show off to anyone he wants.  What a thoughtful idea

Answer 9

something that shares a part of you. whatever it is, its going to mean alot to him because of who it comes from, and what it signifys. Make it something you love too, something of your favorite that you can make a tradition to have him collect.

My grandmother gave me silver bells every christmas. I have 18 she died when I was 18. I LOVE them. I CHERISH THEM.

She gave my cousin crystal snowflakes she has 28, for every year of her life up until my grandmothers life ended.

They mean so much to us because of our relationship to her, and who she was to us. You are alot to your child just by being his mother, raising him or not. You know that though, i hope.

What ever it is it will be perfect, because its coming from YOU.

Answer 10

Give him a soft toy. When you are child there is always that ONE toy that you love. Really try to pick the toy carefully. Make it of average size, very soft and movable (can be played with, arms can move easily etc) The most popular aren't popular tv bears etc they are usually a plain animal soft toy with a bit of character. Choose one with a sweet face. My favourites were always cats or lions and I know other children do too, they also like traditional teddy bears.

A toy like this could be cherished forever. Maybe when he gets older you could give him a book with an envelope inside with apicture of you and a note. He can look at this when he grows up and I am sure he would cherish it.

Answer 11

open up a saving account and put money every year so that he will be able to purchase a car when he turns 16.  Or tell him you will put money away for him so that he can afford to pay for gas when he is 16.  I'm sure we are looking at 6 dollars a gallon by then.

Answer 12

Make him a scrapbook about yourself and maybe write a letter to him and put in it for when he is older.  A christmas ornament every year with the year engraved on it would be neat also. Hope this helped!

Answer 13

The best gift is one you have already given him-a loving family. The traditional ornament idea is nice, just make sure this will be alright with his adoptive parents first.

Answer 14

He's still an infant, so maybe this year go with a very special babies first Christmas ornament. Instead of toys, a baby blanket some clothes and such.

  His adoptive parents don't mind you being apart of his life?

Answer 15

I agree with Jessica.

Starting a family tree is nice, too. You can go to Kinko's and make color-copies of old family pics.

I would have loved it if my mother had made a scrap/photo book every year that showed me pictures of her (and the father, too) so I could see how she changed and grew over the years.  Also, maybe a page of written descriptions of WHO you are.  What your interests are, hobbies, music & books you like, etc.

IMO boys don't care about ornaments, and his aparents will buy him toys.

Give him YOU.

But actually, I would keep it until he is MUCH older, late teens, because even the most open-minded amom is not likely to find it as important as I KNOW he would.

Good luck, hon.

Answer 16

the ornament sounds good.

Answer 17

I really like AmyC.'s suggestion, of the two bears and a picture of you with yours.  As an adult adoptee, I know it would have meant a lot to me to have momentos from my mom like that.

Don't listen to Julius, that was quite unkind, I can only imagine how difficult this Christmas must be.  I am sorry.

The ornament is a good idea too.

Answer 18

The scrapbook is an excellent idea.  Start it with his original birth certificate if you have it.

Answer 19

Okay first of all :  Julius -- aren't you an idiot!!  Right now there is a special place in hades for you!

RoX:  She says she has an open adoption. So really,  his parents don't mind his mom in his life.  What a stupid question on your part.

What ever you get him will be special because it is from you.  I suggest a piggy bank that you can put his name on and his DOB.  That way for holidays and his birthday you can send a card and just put a note "For a future rainy day"

Answer 20

I love the ornament idea too.  Hallmark used to include little cards with their ornament on the inside of the box that said "favorite memory....." or something similar where you could record a little note of what was special that year.  I do this for my son every year when he gets a new ornament.  I like having the "memories" written down for him when he gets older.  Perhaps you could do the same thing?

Answer 21

Maybe the christmas ornament, and you could get his name written on it.  You could get him some toys, or what about a personalised christmas teddy bear?  You could make that a yearly tradition for him and it would make a nice collection.

Answer 22

i love the teddy bear idea, you both having one.

the ornament idea is a good one, but keep in mind that when he's little the only kind of ornament that he will truely love will be the whatever the popular toy at that time is. when my 2nd child was very young, she liked dora, clifford, and those kind. then around five, she became more sophisticated and liked the incredibles and i can't remember what else. so give something that is up to date and popular.

every year i buy a snow globe for my 2nd daughter, she loves those. keep in mind, and i hate to tell you this, but your daughter may not get the mail. be sure you ask for pictures. if you find your not getting pictures, chances are, she's not getting the mail. don't waste the time and money. save it. by the time he's 18, the adoption reforms will be in place and you can save them for her.

i gave up sending my adopted daughter anything... i know she's not getting it.

best wishes to you. i hope all goes well.

Answer 23

A dated yearly ornament is an awesome tradition to start. You may also want to do a dated yearly ornament with his name on it. As for toys... a baby would rather play with a box than the toy anyways so it really doesn't matter what kind of toy as long as its age appropriate.

Answer 24

Katie,

I really wish I had thought to get a little something for my son right from the start. My emotions were running so high that even the thought of having to buy him something made it all seem too real and clear in my mind. I commend your maturity and foresight.

I too think a yearly ornament would be a wonderful gift. A scrapbook of his first family would be amazing as well. I like the teddy bear idea too.

If you are able to see your son what about having a plaster casting made of you holding his hand? I know you can have blankets made that have a picture woven into them, not sure if it would be within your budget but maybe a blanket with a picture of the two of you (if you have some)?

Please ignore the idiots. Your pain is real, your love is real and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Ignorant people will always seek out those who are vulnerable to hurt. It makes them feel powerful over something when they feel powerless in other areas of their lives.

Andraya