What should I tell my friend?

Question

My best friend called me up today.

She was asking me how to ask her mom for BC, but im not on it either and havent asked my mom either.

Yes, she is wanting it to have s*x [she said she isn't right now but would like it just incase] but as every girl would like, she also wants it for the 4 periods a year kind of thing too.

We are both 18.

I told her she could just go get it herself but she would rather have her moms help and such, she just doesn't know how to approach her mom.

Her mom also isn't an approachable person and she is afraid her mom is going to get angry at her for asking and is afraid its going to cause problems, like her mom not letting her go anywhere because of what her mom might think she is doing.

I don't know what to say to her and I just don't know how to help.

Can anyone help me help her?

Answer 1

I'm pretty sure she can go to planned parenthood and get the pill without parental consent. I don't think they do the 4 periods a year kind tho. Back when I went (like 15-18 years ago) they pretty much prescribed/dispensed ortho-novum 7/7/7 unless there was a medical reason not to.

I asked my mom for BC when I was like 15 or 16. she flat out said no. she thought that would be like giving me permission to have s*x. After a pregnancy scare at about 16 or 17 years old I forged a note to get out of school early and my boyfriend took me.

Answer 2

If you are 18, you can call the doctor and go by yourself. You can ask the doctor all these questions and they can give you the answers you are looking for. The birth control that reduces periods to 4 a year is fairly new, so her mom may not even know much about it.

If you really feel that you each need your moms, then just try to set up something where you and your mom (or her and her mom) can talk privately. Maybe you can stat the conversation complaining about periods and say you have heard of a medicine that can reduce them to 4 a year, but that they are birth control. Then you can say that you have been thinking about getting birth control anyway and go from there. Good luck. I'm sure mom isn't going to be that upset considering you are age 18.

Answer 3

First off, let me say that she can get the birth control on her own, as you and many of the answerers have mentioned. That being said, it's my understanding that your friend realizes this but wants her mom's help anyway.

I don't know what her mother is like, but I would sit down with my mom, tell her that I'm eighteen now and that although I am not currently having s*x, I might decide to in the near future and want to be prepared.

She should research the risks and side effects of the birth control she is hoping to get, and write out everything she learns. This way, she will show her mom that she is being responsible and has already done the work, she just wants her mom to be involved because she cares and respects her. Parents tend to be a lot more amenable to helping their children out when their kids are asking out of respect and caring rather than out of pure necessity.

She should also mention all of the other benefits other than pregnancy prevention. I've been on birth control since I was in the eighth or ninth grade because once a month I was completely laid out. The birth control was unbelievably helpful in that area (I went from being completely debilitated to not even needing painkiller), so even if it isn't a preventative measure, it's worth looking into.

Bottom line, your friend is an adult, and though it would certainly be nice to have her mom on her side, if her mom is not supportive of her, she can still go out and get the birth control.

Tell your friend "good luck," and I truly hope that everything works out.

Answer 4

Help her or together ask for birth control