Question:

What should be on a welcome sign as visitors come in from heathrow?

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How about Welcome to England, sorry about the weather but this is our summer, please do not wander the streets as you will get mugged or knifed, if you do call 999 and we will send a policeman in about 2 weeks.

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Don't get stabbed :)
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FLOOD WARNING - WELCOME TO UK - NO SMOKING - NO DRINKING DOWN THE TUBE - ANYONE CAUGHT WILL BE SENT HOME.
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Ha ha, you nutter! So true though s****.!

I think the welcome sign in my home town should say "Welcome To Leeds - The Home Of The Beeston Bombers And Jimmy Saville - What's Worse - You Decide!" Lol.
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social security this way, printed in every language possible
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Welcome to Britain!

Rip up your return ticket Sign up for benefits and and put your name down for a council house.

All the best the Gordon Brown
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LOL, yeah something like that or oh oh, you have landed at chaos central, we can assure you that we will make every attempt to loose your lugguage and keep you holed up in customs until your holiday is over. So says my uk neighbour lol! :)
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"Land of milk and honey" Ha! Ha! You're not in America, you're in the UK. Streets may not be paved with gold, but if you're a foreigner you will think they are.
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If you drive, smoke or drink leave now or leave skint
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How about "yankee - GO HOME"

It's funny.
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how about Welcome ready for a long walk,to your next terminal ??and hope you don't get lost !!!!and your baggage will come to you soon!!!!
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Welcome to the UK.

Please enjoy your stay here as much as we will enjoy ripping you off at every turn!
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wow - the signs you suggested should also be at any airport in australia (apart from the weather one - just replace it with sorry about the flies)
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haha this question just made me laugh out loud, very true though!
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The welcome sign should be

Welcome to England.

Please lose all your money legally by buying over price items.

Don't lose your money illegally by getting stab and rob.
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How about welcome to England, if you're here your country must be proper f*cked.
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welcome to Britain where the British are the ethnic minority
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So so true....

The only suggestion I have is that we have these signs at all UK airports and not just Heathrow.
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How about: We are closed until further notice.
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They should have "Sarcasm And Irony for Dummies" handed to American travellers.

The French should be given a map to Waterloo and Trafalgar Square.

Germans a commerative "5-1" football emblazoned with a picture of Churchill.

Spaniards a tennis racket and enoucragement to apply for British citizenship (we've got to win Wimbledon somehow!).

As for Eastern Europeans, let them flood in! I need to get my shower replaced and my kid's looked after!

Oh, and advise to avoid reading the Dail Hate (sorry, Mail) lest they assume we're all a bunch of xenophobic, extremist right-wing bigots, who value celebrity and glitz (and house prices) over all else.
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write it in polish,urdu,Islamic,etc etc more people will understand it .
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every minority welcome

benefits for all who dont deserve

stay as long as like, cause it will be payed for by hard working natives
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abandon all hope ye who enter here.
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Welcome to England,

Heathrow is in England, ( for all of you who keep saying Britain )

Britain is England, Scotland & Wales altogether.
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