What should happen if a birthmother willingly made an adoption plan for their child... and...?

Question

then changed her mind later... years later? Across the board- what should happen?

Answer 1

Nothing....

It is not about the adults it's about the child and that would be horrible for the child so it is too bad....

Years later would be time to consider building her own family but, thinking that she could go back and get a baby she placed--years later would be terrible for the baby and it just doesn't work that way.....

Answer 2

The key point here is "years later".  Children cannot simply be items that are tossed to the side until an adult decides they are able to handle things.  HOWEVER, if it is determined years later that an adoption was done illegally, then I think other issues need to be looked at.  I'm not necessarily saying a child should be removed from his/her home, but in cases where bio fathers were illegally stripped of their rights, there should be something available (such as opening an adoption to allow him involvement).

Answer 3

If it was a closed adoption, nothing.

But if it was an open adoption and the mother and child had a lot of contact?  What if the child felt the same way?

These are some things to also consider.  Interesting question.

ETA: no, not nothing...actually, in lieu of giving the child back, how about at least trying to create some, or more, openness in the adoption?  It doesn't have to be all or nothing; there could be some sort of compromise.  As long as the mother is not a threat to the child in the way of physical harm or emotional abuse, why not at least allow some visitation, work some sort of openness agreement?  I think that, at least, could be an alternative.

Answer 4

I agree, nothing. Children just can't be tossed around like that. I'm sure some birth moms have thought about doing this or wished they could but most have the best interest of their child in mind.

Answer 5

Think of how horrible it would be to rip a child who has been living with their family for years, and give the kid  to a stranger. It would not happen unless the adoption was proofed to be illegal in some way. A birthparent would be very selfish if they decided years later they wanted their birth child back. They had the chance to parent but threw that in the trash.

Answer 6

Years later?? Nothing.

Sorry but even as a birthmother I can't imagine putting my selfish wants ahead of a child's emotional well being.

Answer 7

nothing the child is fixed and setteled in thier home.   Adoptive parents don't get to change their mind and give the child back.

i do think that birth mothers should have longer to make up thier mind after delivery though some places it is only 30 days or less.  i think at least two months.  That is hard on the adoptive family  but  i think a life decision like that takes time

Answer 8

Nothing should happen- why would you harm a child's sense of security.