What should i do? Can anybody help me?

Question

I need advice here is a summary:

-four years ago my husband (who was then my bf) would phone girls in the night and tell me he was tired, i found through his phone bill, i confronted him and he said dont look at my phone bill and denied everything.

He later stopped and so did the arguements.

-he bumped into the girl three weeks ago, and i dont know if he told her he was married, he told me and i got angry because it remind me of everything four years ago.

We argued and he said: stop acting like a child and grow up

if anyone has the problem its me

so i asked him did you swap numbers he said NO! but although she wanted to meet me so how could he not have swapped numbers???

- on monday i looked through my husband phone and found a number and a message saying:

he message: yeah i really want to see your tattoo you better show me soon, lets meet but dont keep me waiting around.

she replied: no i wont....i promise i will meet up and so on

i confronted him and said was it her he said it was no-one, i got the number and called her to find out it was her.

Until now he thinks he has done nothing wrong, i feel heartbroken because if he can lie about this then he can lie about alot of things.

He hasnt said sorry or even talked about with me.

What should i do????? Please help, i'm going out my mind.....

Answer 1

You married a jerk.  If he refuses to respect your feelings or discuss it calmly there unfortunately isn't anything you can do but leave his sorry butt.

Answer 2

You are really insecure and intrusive. If you hadn't been nosing through his phone, you wouldn't be so upset. Stop doing it.

Answer 3

Oh, I really feel for you.  It is horrible when you find out that your partner has lied, and most in cases like this.

You have confronted him and he still denies things, so he is not leaving you much of a choice on this one.  You can probably suggest counselling before its too late and you lose the trust completely, but again, he has to agree to it, and if he truly thinks he has done nothing wrong, he wont want to go.

I wish you all the luck!

Answer 4

Your marriage is based on lies and you know it and you do not rust him because you know he lies and you are looking for proof--  you have your proof you know what needs to be done! Unless you want to waste the rest of your life dealing with this jerk then get out and cut your losses and move on.sorry to be so blunt but facts are facts he wants to play around so give him  up so he can continue to make a fool out of himself.Good luck to you find a good man next time.

Answer 5

He may not have done anything - but he intended to until you found out.

Time to close this chapter of your life and kick him out and move on.

He will cheat on you in time - he will work his way back in with you and then when you feel comfortable - he will start again.

The intent is there and you know it.

Drop him now to avoid further heartbreak down the line

Answer 6

he either is or is about to cheat. Cut your losses and run

Answer 7

first .. my English is v.poor..but in our country you have two ways to deal with this problem.. either to be weak and live with a liar..(not recommended for your mental safety)..or you stay until you make him lose his mind and learn his lesson never to miss with a woman's heart..drive him crazy..then leave him..revenge is sweet ..and men get jealous to..but don't wait until he really cheats on you cause nothing you may do will fix your heart then

Answer 8

Sit him down and tell him that what he is doing isn't right for a married man to do. If you need to fight about it, than fight about it. Chances are, your right, if he can lie about this he can lie about other things. What did the girl say when you called her?  

Answer 9

Wow, men can be such cold hearted jerks.... you need to move on sweetie, why stick with someone who does not have your best interests at heart, he is suppose to be your husband the one who you can trust.  Good Luck, and respect yourself enough not to put up with that stuff.

Answer 10

My dear....not only is he a liar and has no respect for you and your feelings but it's clear as glass he's laying the groundwork to s***w around on you. make no mistake about it. And I just love his blatant denial of everything. Even when presented with damning evidence he looks right at it and says "No it's not".

I'm sorry to say this but know what? It isn't going to change. He's h**l bent on having an affair and you are a non-entity in his mind. In fact, the way he talks to you shows you're a nuisance only because you're interfering with his sleazy and sneaky ways. Which aren't really sneaky because he isn't even making an effort to hide anything to a degree from you.

So now you're faced with either letting this go and know that he'll be sleeping around or starting to end this relationship. His lack of respect to honor you and your wishes (which of course are not unreasonable) should be the final straw. Of course should you follow through and make plans to leave he'll be angry. Not because you're leaving...but because you have the nerve to walk out on him. And because he never thought you have the brass ovaries to do it.

Stop wasting your life with this swine. He knows nothing about being an equal in a relationship and its clear his only goal in life is to...and you'll pardon my crudeness...to wet his d**k.

Dump this mope. It's painfully obvious you're much too dignified and honorable for the likes of him.

Answer 11

well.u need to take some actions.cuz if u dont do anything to stop it rite now u wil be waitin for da worse to happen.so either make him stop or leave him.

Answer 12

Can't any of you "whiney a$$ed" women grow up?!?  Why does Yahoo's Q&A get INUNDATED with these VACUOUS, LAME LESS, IMMATURE queries  ALL THE DAMED TIME ??????????????

Answer 13

soooooooo sorry.if he's lied about even talking to her,he will lie if it does go further.