What should i do about my love leaving for a guy she hates?

Question

i have gotten to know this girl for about 3 years now before we have done anything besides kiss. i have been sitting by and watched there break ups before they got hitched. im not able to sit by any longer. i recently fell in love with a girl. (19) her husband is an a*****e(18) and she doesnt love him anymore.***the got married because you know how parents push that **** on kids when and if they get pregnant.*** hes in the army and just moved away from her hometown so he could see there child because he is deploying in a few months. it is really hard losing her, i have never felt this way about ANYone before. she wants me to drive her uhual truck home with all her belongings when he deploys in six months. which i told her would probably wouldnt be so good for his mental health. im so confused being only 20. everyone that knows me and her says i would be a better provider and a (much better role model for the child she had with him. Hes lazy and just one example of how he doesnt care is his sunglasses cost more than her wedding ring.(50 bucks) i wanna take her away from him and treat her like gold. because she really deserves it. please help, now that she is gone i feel so much pain. her dad and his girlfriend(which is her hubbys mom*) caught wind of our feelings for eachother and now shes getting h**l about it while shes hundreds of miles away alone with just him. which is tough i know. please help this hole in my heart is growing by the day. i know im going to wait for her and i dont wanna hear the shes is married thing that was a attempt to fix something that is way to messed up. i say we get together while her kid is still young so she wont even know. theres additional info il post if i get enough good responses.

im just throwing this in there.... my dad is dating her mom.... and if you think thats weird her dad is dating the other dudes mom. OMFG why is my life so fudged up???

oh and p.s. our three songs to eachother is

jesse mccartneys leavin

NKOTB summertime.

il be waiting. lenny kravitz

Answer 1

You are the in viet nam war of relationships.  The kicker is the music.  Music is the napalm for you.  Burnin' Churnin' Jelly gas fires.  I'd go ahead and pull out. You are in "The Quintessential Quagmire that defines dysfunction" I made that up for you as a gift. Dress your wounds, and get back into a peacetime love situation.  NKOTB?  OMFG!!!! How can you admit that?

Good luck, stealer of soldiers wives.

Answer 2

Well it is clear that you love this girl, however, as much as you do, it depends on her. It can only work if she is willing to give up the other guy as in divorce the other guy.You know what you want and you know what are have to offer. Did you tell her all this?

Unfortunately, it is all up to her and no matter what her parents say, it will still be up to her and what she wants.

The parents and everything else will sort itself out, but if she wants a better life then surely she will have to make the decision of leaving the guy she is with if she is feeling that way and if she feels the same way that you feel about her.

The only way that you will be able to know is if you make it clear to her as you put it down here and what your wants and needs are and how you are feeling and find out how she feels about the whole situation, If she feels the same way, then you can move on with her.

You will have to be honest with her and she has to be honest too and if she admits that she wants to leave that guy,then she must just do it and do it before he goes away so that she can move on with you.

That's the best advice I can give you. I do feel for you cos I can see your sincerity in the way you write.

Good luck